Is this reasonable financial split and child maintenance?

[GerdaMyArse]

I’ve been separated for over two years and the divorce is now happening (he is divorcing me).

My Ex is currently giving me £500 a month for our 13 year old child, paying school fees and sometimes other ad-hoc expenses like school trips. But this isn’t enough to cover all the music lessons and other expenses there are. I think that he should be paying more. I’m also thinking of asking him for spousal maintenance.

Also he doesn’t think a 70/30 split on the house is fair.

I don’t know what is normal in these circumstances. Advice please.

He's 13, not a toddler. I'm sure he can cope with spending time with his Dad in his home including overnights once he's moved nearby. Did you move away if he's still in the marital home?

Sorry I’m new - this is my first post

Do you mean he pays private school fees? AND £500 pm.

What are his annual earnings? You could try for spousal maintenance if he was a high earner.

You are choosing for him not to have overnights with your DC. You won't let him have him at his home and you've now stopped hi m staying at yours.

Please advise where and how you expect him to have overnight contact?

If this goes to court you will not look good...

I think you are being completely unreasonable with what you are demanding.

You will need to live within your means or get a new job.

I'm glad your soon to be ex is paying more than the minimum but you are coming across as greedy demanding 70/30 spilt PLUS the holiday home.

Reverse meaning you are really your ex, because tbh your posts make you look quite bad.

You've also deprived your son of 10 nights a month with his Dad for no reason that I can see. Who is looking after him now when you work away?

Cms calculator reckons about £300 pm for spleone earning 30 grand a year and having the child less than 52 nights per year.

Where has OP stated her ex earns £30k pa?

Wow. I get £100 a month for 2 children from my ex. I don’t try and sting him for more because I’d rather he had money to do things with our children when they’re with him. Cut ur cloth to fit OP.

You have stopped the child spending time with exh overnight and now expect to buy a home outright and have a holiday home? He should take you to court for visitation and maybe you will see how unreasonable you are

16% of his net pay is only about £336 a month. That’s not enough!
I worked back from this.

He pays me £500 a month and pays the school fees as well. He says he will continue to do this - and might end up paying the fees from his part of the property split (he has offered to do this). But I do have our child’s name down on state school waiting lists to save money.

He won’t agree to the 70/30 split and things are all a bit up in the air with finances - which I find very worrying. He is divorcing ME - I didn’t choose this.

I think you sounds bitter about divorce and greed is taking over. We’d all like to be able to buy somewhere mortgage free but for most that isn’t possible. I agree on 50/50 for any property sales but you are getting a lot more than most people I know and agree with PP if you push for too much you might find your maintenance drops.
Also think private school is stretching on combined £50k salaries and don’t see how he could afford to give you anymore than he already is on his salary and to live without the lodgers eventually.

You are honestly an absolute chancer! School fees plus extras plus £500pm plus your salary plus rent from a lodger!!!
Oh diddums what a struggle for little old you 😂😂
Get a bloody grip, have you read any threads where mums are surviving in their low wage, paying child care and getting no maintenance???

Just because he is divorcing you doesnt mean you're entitled to more

Why did you stop him looking after him for the 10 nights a month?

He is self employed and his earning can vary between 27 to 40 K
I’m not sure how this works with maintenance - average or upper or lower estimate?

It must be a very cheap private school.

Well if he makes you go through cms and he decides to be a twat, consisting hes self employed youll probably get £7 a week or whatever it is, so its really in your interest to play nice here.

@GerdaMyArse yes, that is what he is currently paying towards your son. But if you demand a bigger share of the house and spousal support, he may not continue with those payments. He agreed to it, it's not part of the divorce.

Is there a good reason why your son doesn't spend any time with his father?

He's not even earning much more than you. Why do you think you would get spousal maintenance?

I felt uncomfortable about him being in my flat. He’s been sounding very antagonistic lately. So a friend who is also a single Mum is helping me out with childcare until I decide what I’m doing about finances and moving etc.

Why cant he have your son overnight at his house

Why can't he have him overnight at his own place for the 10 nights? Did you move away?

Our son says he doesn’t want to live intwo homes. His father wants the divorce - not us. For now I think it’s better that he sees his son twice a week and not overnight. This is my son’s wishes also. Surely a court would see that?