Chatting

[Rosewilliam]

Hello, I'm a single mum (going through divorce) just wondering if there are any others like me out there that just want to chat in the evening after the kids have gone to bed. I feel very lonely.
Please come and say hi.

I'm about. Rant away

Hi.. do you think it's reasonable for me to be really annoyed(putting it politely) that I needed new kids beds and it's a small room, when I said I was getting them she said oh I'll get them and as she doesn't contribute much financially or otherwise I thought great. I showed her which ones, from Argos,she then decides to order different beds which are a bit bigger and more awkward. Reading this back to myself it sounds pretty but as she never puts them to bed here or anywhere I think I should chooses which beds. Now she's getting funny because I don't like them.

I think you pick your battles. This seems like one that can be brushed off. Yes annoying but not worth wasting energy on.
I think separating is all about biting your tongue for the kids. I'm struggling with that part too!

I agree that picking your battles is the best advice. Yes it's annoying the beds aren't the ones you picked but at least your ex paid for the beds and the kids have beds. It's not ideal but it's not that big a deal either.

Thanks for your input. It was the final straw. It wasn't just about the beds. So much other stuff.

Bonkerz will you just book something and go away by yourself then?
It's my weekend to have my 13 year old daughter but yet again best laid plans and all that... she decided she wanted to stay with her grandparents instead. I'm starting to give up now to be honest.
I've a meeting with both my family this weekend to call a truce and then on Sunday a meeting with my wife. I think she wants to keep the house but wants to finalise my share now rather than in the 2 years a divorce takes. But I'm confused as I don't think it sounds right

Yeah. I've booked to visit a friend in my home town. Just a night away midweek then I've booked a spa day with another friend. Cleaning kids rooms and decorating the hallway should keep me busy enough at half term to cope with not having the kids!! Well I hope so.

Hi, I’m joining in if it’s ok.

Bonkerz I think you’re definitely handling the situation well.

My story is this. I left my h after a long marriage as he was just selfish to the core. Divorce proceedings are happening at last. My problem is that I have my own place but no transport at all. My career dried up and I spend long lonely days and nights by myself. Friends have left me too as they don’t think I should’ve left my ex.

I’m trying to keep upbeat by cooking, excercising, learning a language, watching films, but it’s so lonely. So online chat would be great. 😊

Fair play bonkerz keeping busy. I thought you had literally booked to go away by yourself then which would be extremely brave.

Itsnotme123 I'm in a similar sort of position. I have no friends and a push bike. I've just made contact with family again after many years and I have a 13 year old daughter who I've learned this week I just need to leave her a lone to grow up because she has very little interest in seeing me. It's basically destroying me so when again this week she was negative about staying with me this weekend I did say I would have to move back into the house but I've been advised it solves nothing and I risk an occupation order and losing this flat.
So I also spend most day and nights by myself as I'm also a long distance truck driver.

Knock I have a push bike too but the saddle makes my bum sore, guess I could change it. I live in a city, and it’s just so dangerous to cycle here. I’m taking up walking big time haahaa.

My kids are in their 30s now, and live away, but move around, and one lives abroad. They keep in touch with me, but I was so sad when they left home. Funny to think back, I wasn’t sure I wanted kids in the first place.

Long distant truck driving is an unsociable job, did you find it quite disruptive to family life ?

Knock, try not to take it personally from your dd. My dd is 13 and is struggling with visiting her dad. My 7 year old adores his dad but it means that weekends are arranged doing things he likes as it's what exh likes too and this makes dd feel like she doesn't want to go at weekends.
In reality she's 13! She uses all her energy all week at school and for her weekends need to be relaxed and calm to help her recharge. Weekends with her dad don't allow this.

Itsnotme123: welcome.

I'm going out tonight with a friend. A meal and some gins and we will prob end up doing kareoke and dancing badly! Thankfully my 18 year old son has agreed to collect me later! It's nice having a teen with a car!

I don't think my job helped as I didn't see much of my then wife and daughter but that's not really an excuse for the debt she took out in my name, the beating I received and the 5 year affair she had with a work colleague. So I'll never blame my job when my wife is a liar.
I'm only 37 though and in just Wang rid of her and her horrible controlling family

Oh wow knock, your wife sounds bad. Sounds like you’re well rid. And I can sympathise with you about her controlling family. My MIL seemed to delight in controlling our lives. Ex couldn’t see it at all, and looking back on it, she was the one that drove me away.

Karaoke and dancing badly sounds a lot of fun Bonkerz haahaa

And 13 is a strange age. I wonder if in a few years time they will change their minds and want to see their father. One of my sons didn’t like his dad and would avoid him all the time, but he will spend some time with him now under duress which is a step forward.

Karaoke and dancing equals lots of laughs but I would never sing in my life.
I did dry January but I may just carry it on now. I love a beer to but I just don't whether drinking 5 or 6 by myself is wrong.

I'm so worried about losing my 13 year old daughter though. It petrifies me

Bonkerz is going to have a sore head tomorrow!

My ex knew he didn’t want to be with him, but he just acted normal, helped son when he needed it and was just cool.

I had 2 bottles of wine last night and no headache but I'm very aware I'm using alcohol as a crutch at weekends. As long as I'm aware I think it's allowed for a few months while I adjust to the change. I don't drink in the week.
I am very lucky I have an amazing group if friends around me who are holding me up.
Do you guys have friends?

Bonkerz two bottles of wine and I'd be a right mess! I loved a beer at weekends but now I've gone boring.
I don't have mates anyway to be honest but I also realised last night I like my own company.
Is drinking on your own sad though???

I got all ready to go out for a run this morning trainers and everything then just sat on the sofa and said sod It! I think it's the toughest thing I've been through ever and I'm really struggling. How does everyone else cope?

Hi there I was divorced last year after being apart for 6 years. I live with my 2 dc one 14 one 18. Life is good but it does get a little lonely sometimes

I have friends, or at least I thought I did. None of them come and see me unless I practically beg them to. They say they too busy. I know if it was the other way round I would make time.

Knock I think if you just force yourself out the door for a run you would feel so much better. Every day I have to force myself to do things otherwise I would slump into an unhealthy state which is all too easy, and I would feel bad for it.