Divorce advice - DC at uni, long marriage

[Time4change2018]

Hi.
Long time lurker looking for some realistic impartial advice as my sister is filling my head with ideas based on her divorce 10+ years ago and i need to know realistically what I may or may not get.
Background... married 25 years in my mid 50s... he moved out around Christmas last year. Before that had been on sofa/ spare room for 2 years so. Technically moved in with OW but we'd been all but seperated for years.
I worked before 2 x Dcs came along, hairdresser. Didn't work again until DCs were in secondary school.... he would have preferred me to work sooner and can see over the years this has caused resentment. Work pt now in term time role. DCs now at uni, youngest starting this term. When he moved out he said he'd continue all financial arrangements (mortgage, all bills and household allowance) while dc at home before uni but now this is changing I know things are going to change.
So I'm worried what will happen and how will I cope without the house money, he has said he'll give funds to DCs directly to help with uni living. Anyone been through similar and can give me some thoughts.
House is almost paid off but no way will I get a mortgage on my wage or age so feeling a little anxious. He will have a good pension having worked 30+ years for a good national company in managerial role. Ideally like to keep house so DCs have home to come back to on holidays etc
Thank you

You owe him for the skip and should pay it. It’s none of your business whether he sells his belongings or not.

He has put up with a lot of delays. He has paid you generous and unnecessary living expenses whilst you stalled and delayed on a divorce. Of course he played hard ball at the end because your behaviour gave him no choice.

If you become petty and cause animosity it will damage the relationship within your family and make life difficult for your sons.

Ffs, just pay him for the god damn skip
You’ve given him loads of hassle the last few years
Just pay him and allow you both to finally move on

Pay your share and move on.

Good news you got there in end OP. When do you complete on your purchase? It sounds like both your buyer and your seller have bent over backwards to accommodate you and ensure everything could go through. He’s not lived in sold former matrimonial house since 2017. He could have left you to dispose of all furniture and junk. I’d look on it as a plus that he helped get rid of stuff and organised a skip. If you agreed to pay half (which was right thing to do) you should absolutely pay. He let you choose what furniture you wanted. If you sold what you chose you’d get money too same as him. It’s no easy task selling second hand furniture, he’s saved you hassle of doing it or having to pay storage. Seriously OP pay money and you are done. I’d have expected you to pay for skip so him paying half is a bonus.
It sounds like you’ve had a fair settlement- pension split, enough to buy a home. Time to finally move on.
Your paths will cross at family events and it will only hurt you and your children if you go back on your agreement. He has been very patient and generous over the years - look at date of your first post 3 years ago. Seriously don’t listen to your sister. If you were my friend I’d say this to your face. Good luck with your new life OP. It must feel better not to have this hanging over you.

Goodness Op, you have come out of this a fairly well-off woman, having not worked full-time for years and put your ex-dh and house buyers to quite a lot of inconvenience. At least have the decency to keep your word on the skip payment.

Holy fuck. I think you’re far more canny than you let on. You’ve dragged this out for years, got an amazing settlement, put obstacles in his path at every turn and used your kids as excuses to boot. Unbelievable. And your lack of response to a single person on this thread acknowledging their shock at your outrageous behaviour all under the cloak of being confused or unsure and oh poor me little innocent woman who just can’t manage says it all. For someone so helpless you’ve certainly managed to control this situation very nicely.

Well played, I guess? My money personally is on you having dug your heels in to make it as hard as possible for him to move on with his new partner. Years. You’ve been doing this for years. And the pension drawdown that you conveniently forgot to mention but delayed things once more just reinforces the idea you’re one sneaky and canny person.

So hard to believe you’re not trolling when you’ve squeezed 660k out of this and are now quibbling over £170.

I really hope your poor ex husband finally gets out from under your machinations for good and is able to enjoy his life, poor guy.

Blimey I wish OP had linked this thread to the current one.

Yes you have played a blinder OP....

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4387802-EX-H-asked-DC-to-Christmas-before-I-did?watched=1&msgid=112049082#112049082

My money personally is on you having dug your heels in to make it as hard as possible for him to move on with his new partner.

And now, as seen in the OP's new thread, he is and she can't do a thing about it.

Well, other than try and blackmail her kids into not spending Christmas with him, of course.