@gossipqueen14 stay strong, you had a moment of weakness which is exacerbated by you texting him!! You are letting him know that no matter what, you are hanging around waiting which is not a healthy thing to do in this process (IMO anyway). If this situation keeps happening and then he is with someone else, and it's still happening, your basically letting him have his cake and eat it!! Put him on a crash diet now!! Put yourself, your feelings, your hurt and your healing first. What he thinks, feels, does, wants to do is nothing to do with you now and not your problem. At risk of sounding like a parent, don't let it happen again!!!
For example, STBXH works away for long periods and is self employed, pays taxes quarterly. As we live in a country where he doesn't speak the lingo, it was down to me to interpret everything for him. A letter from the tax man arrived here about 3 or 4 weeks ago. It's addressed to him. It could be a simple statement.....or it could be a big problem that he needed to contact them urgently about......well, not my problem. The letter is sitting unopened to hand to him this afternoon....If I am no longer deemed fit to be his wife, then I am no longer deemed to be secretary, event organiser, nanny, sex slave etc etc for this man. If I hold no value as a partner to you, then I hold no value at all and therefore I will not do anything to help to make your life easier....this is the path he chose and so he must walk it without me. Hope this makes sense....the only way you will move on is to value yourself and your feelings first. Yes it hurts like hell and it is not easy but it is what must be done to get over it and move on.
@ilovecrumpets wouldn't it be great to be able to just drop everything and spend a 2 week holiday in Cuba without any worries??? Oh wait, no that's not allowed for the left behind spouse with lots of responsibilities!!! i think these people must have all had a bang to the head as the amount of selfishness is unbelievable!!
@wellyboots86 I guess in that sense them I am lucky, after him being AWOL for 8 weeks i have around 3 weeks to myself....although I wonder how much of that i will get to myself in reality??? I am planning some nice things to do for me but as usual the imposed monthly budget puts a kybosh on eating caviar and sunning myself in hawaii......I'll probably end up cleaning like you and mending the cushion my foster dog chose to chew the other day lol!!
@Wintersnow17 - i think I'm a bit strange as I have not cried since he left....okay the occasional sob but I then tell myself to stop and think about the positives of him leaving,. i think you are right though, i think before 6 months you just wonder if they are letting off a little bit of steam, exploring and by this time they should have realised that they were wrong and be crawling back begging for forgiveness....sadly, doesn't seem to be the case. Although like most, i don't want him back now, I've never had to wonder about it before but the thought of him being intimate with someone else and then wanting to come back to me is something i would never be able to get over I think so that's it blown completely for me to ever allow a reconciliation should it arise.