Sexual technics

[EvansMr]

share your sexual secrets
I lay her on her back with me on my side and flick the bean while goin at it like a jack hammer
seems to work every time

is there any technics you would like to share?

:o

Bump, just because more mumsnetters should read this...

Stop! Will this thread never die?? Having said that, it's always good for a giggle.

I have been a member for a long time. Today I opened this and had a good laugh.
Ver very glad I am not Evans Mrs having my bean flicked. It must hurt, a bit.

Why is this thread not in Classics? I've pulled a muscle in my bean laughing so much I think

He he he

MNHQ - can this go in Classics? It deserves to be there.

I think preparation is the key.

I usually keep a few pounds of lard, a pair of marigolds, a bit of garden twine, and two industrial size baked bean tins handy for sexy times.

The lard helps with friction burns and keeps you warm when 'al fresco' , I like the marigolds as they stop my hands going wrinkly with all the bean flicking ( they can also double up as emergency multi use condoms if you run out ) and the beans are of course for flicking around the boudoir.

An important tip I've gleaned from MN is that nothing gets ladies in the mood more than their partner doing some housework, so I tend to forgo the usual 'dirty talk' and whisper phrases such as ' I took the bins out this morning', ' ooh I think the hoover bag needs changing', or 'I've folded all the clean sheets into kitten shapes'.

I also like to leave a copy of 50 Shades of Grey casually laying around with the garden twine in case the lucky lady is interested in giving me a damn good spanking.

:o

Yes please to classics!

I find that manipulating your partner's erogenous zones and they yours until both of you achieve full satisfaction pretty much does it for us.

FFS, will this thread never die?

vorsprung durch technic?

Oh dear god - i have just skimmed through this zombie thread and realise that i have posted on it a serious bean flicking instructive post - oh god, the embarrasment

Haven't laughed so hard in ages - i needed that!

Thanks for giving me a damn good laugh guys!www.mumsnet.com/emo/te/1.gif

Thanks for giving me a damn good laugh guys!

Wow

Christian Grey is such an amateur compared to EvansMr!!

Second pic down the jackhammer to the thigh

So proud that Lego porn is now in search history...

Ha, what a hilarious picture. i'll always be wondering what's going on inside my sons lego millennium falcon overnight now, lego manage a trois between chewy, han and leia.

Are you from Hull?

yay!

sexual technics thread resurrected !

bloody hell, this was FIVE years ago

only seems like yesterday...
wonder what young MrEvans is up to these days

Ha! This is at least the third time in my MN life that this thread has made me snort my tea!