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Sexual technics

301 replies

EvansMr · 15/06/2008 20:43

share your sexual secrets
I lay her on her back with me on my side and flick the bean while goin at it like a jack hammer
seems to work every time

is there any technics you would like to share?

OP posts:
TheTeaspoonLady · 15/06/2008 21:14

I think his only other move may be to get into bed by 9pm.
It is a school day tomorrow, after all!

dizzydixies · 15/06/2008 21:16

tis past watershed now, his parental control will have automatically switched off his laptop and it'll be lights out

Sidge · 15/06/2008 21:18

Your technic, sorry, technique sounds bloody awful to me.

If you flicked my bean (ouch) whilst banging me like a jackhammer I'd punch you in the bollocks.

mankymummy · 15/06/2008 21:20

aha... assuming you could find them sidge... i suspect they have yet to descend!

eenybeeny · 15/06/2008 21:21

how do these children find MN anyway?? You'd think the idea of a load of old (or in my case, gorgeously young ) mothers would bore them to tears!!

I am not that young anyway. for the record.

mankymummy · 15/06/2008 21:24

if for him it "works every time" i would imagine the poor lady in question has logged on to mumsnet with his id and posted the OP looking for inspiration, all the while whilst he is "flicking the bean and going for it like a jack hammer".

lackaDAISYcal · 15/06/2008 21:25

he was maybe looking to be taught a thing or two as his GF wants sex, but he is a clueless virgin? and we scared him off, bless

No doubt he googled sex techniques technics though and got a link to one of the more colourful MN threads!

umberella · 15/06/2008 21:25

rrrrrrrrrrofl!

you filthy little pervert. pity the poor lass who gets the benefit of your erm ....technic (pmsl) when yer jack is old enough for a hammerin'.

hope your mum's a mner and catches you out.

mankymummy · 15/06/2008 21:27

or..... it could be a MNers DP looking for inspiration [shock}

come on everyone... check whereabouts of DPs!!!!!

mankymummy · 15/06/2008 21:27

damn i meant.

TiggerLicious · 15/06/2008 21:29

ROFL at notjustmum

notjustmom · 15/06/2008 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dizzydixies · 15/06/2008 21:48

mine, am happy to announce, is in the room with me and also PHSL at this thread so its not mine

umberella · 15/06/2008 21:49
EvansMr · 15/06/2008 22:00

Allright there girls? No ofense but if there is plenty of other places where you can post away about your banjos and baps. This forum is for the lads so unless you got something good to say ?

28/m/newport

OP posts:
dizzydixies · 15/06/2008 22:01

there ARE plenty of places

and fyi its fanjos and norks on here

maidamess · 15/06/2008 22:01

Ha Ha!!

ruddynorah · 15/06/2008 22:04

28???!!! flippin eck.

shouldn't you be off strumming your girlfriend's banjo rather than being on here chatting to a lot of mums?

Flamesparrow · 15/06/2008 22:04

loving "banjos"

YeahBut · 15/06/2008 22:06

I think "Bang Yer Banjo" sounds like a technic classic in the making...

DelicateCreature · 15/06/2008 22:07

This is the funniest thread I have read for ages
rofl at manky mummy et al

dizzydixies · 15/06/2008 22:07

do you think he types in mums net instead of readers wives?! I can see why he's confused

readers wives - here you are!

dizzydixies · 15/06/2008 22:08

and people - don't click on it if easily offended - it is the ACTUAL link to readers wives

onepieceoflollipop · 15/06/2008 22:08

There's another thread with a poor pg lady with a swollen banjo. Also we were all leaving shopping lists with f banjo written on them.

Bit boring in Newport this evening is it? Not interested in the footie?

DelicateCreature · 15/06/2008 22:09

Evans Mr- Please explain laying on your side whilst on her back?
It doesn't sound very comfortable

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