I do 99.9% of a job and my wife will complain about the 0.1%.

[victorino]

I want to vent off a little, I guess. But I am also genuinely interested to find out if this is normal behaviour. Are all wives like mine, or am I especially “lucky”.

So here we go. Here’s what happened this morning. I got up, and then prepared breakfast for the kids, changed the baby, made his bottle and fed him. Then got the kids up to the bathroom, got them washed and changed into their school uniforms. Made a coffee for the wife, brought it to her in bed. Made packed lunch. Took kids to school.

Here’s what I did not do: brush my son’s hair (I forgot).

"Did you brush John’s hair", she asked. I said no, but I brushed his teeth. Big scolding / argument ensued because it is apparently essential that I brush his hair every morning before school. Nevermind all the other things I did correctly and on time…

Is this normal, to be so demanding/ungrateful/rude for something so trivial?

Your mistake was confessing failure to hairbrush. The right answer was "Of course I did". Everybody happy.

Let’s be honest, there are a fair few posters on here who believe that men cannot work hard and it is axiomatic that no women are lazy.

From the OP’s posts, taking them at face value, his wife is lazy, entitled and rude.

Of course, as someone said above, it would be interesting to hear her side of the story. But the nature of this site is you ALWAYS hear one side only and have to take it at face value.

I know some of you feel that I'm drip feeding and I apologise. I am not on here constantly because I had lots of work to do today and now I have to make dinner for the kids (I have 4 and they're all small). I will update later this evening. For now, I just wanted to say to the comments about the word "ungrateful" - please don't get me wrong: I do not expect any thank you's or any medals or anything like that (lol)... I just expect some respect and that is all. If my DW bites my head off for a little oversight, it feels like she does not respect what I do... and that's why I used the word "ungrateful". I certainly do not expect a thank you because, as some of you rightly put it, they are my kids too, but I certainly do not expect to be told off for it either. Does that make sense? BTW this post is not about hair (lol). I sometimes get told off and sent back downstairs for giving her a coffee that's too dark (not enough milk). Or a scone that has not enough jam on it... (list goes on)

Given your most recent update, you need to stop being a doormat for your wife. She can fetch her own coffee, etc.

So now there are 4 kids.

Look op giving you the benefit of the doubt here for a minute , the drip feeling is not about the frequency if updates but the complete lack of information. We didn't need to know about scones really and there's time for a non update but not an update that really answers any of the questions?

Are all the kids hers
How old are they

Is she home all day running the house with 4 kids underfoot trying to homeschool whilst trying to do all the housework and shopping etc?

Did the not getting up start at baby 1 2 3 or 4?

Have you actually spoken to her yet?

Honestly I think you're getting an unfair deal. Hair brushing is one of those things. DP is responsible for most of those day to day jobs in our house and I'd never question what had or hadn't been done, especially something as inconsequential as hair brushing. Reckon there are deeper problems in your marriage.

@SarahTancredi you’re so boooooring

We didn't need to know about scones

I think we do.

I sometimes get told off and sent back downstairs for giving her a coffee that's too dark (not enough milk). Or a scone that has not enough jam on it... (list goes on)

So why are you putting up with that? You need to leave or make her leave. You are basically a single parent anyway, what difference would it make to you?

I did say all the posters would say differently if it was a woman but I take that back. There's always one or 2 posters on every thread policing it - you did not need to write that, you should have written this- which I guess is a bit like OP's wife, picking at details and generally kicking people when they are down. So I'll change that to more posters would say differently.

@JizzPigeon22 why? Because you don't agree? What a pointless post. Did it you feel better though?

No because she’s boring. Stating the same point over and over again. “I don’t believe you because you’re a man wah wah wah”

And you sound absolutely riveting!

And it is because you don't agree. You are resorting to personal attacks because you don't like the fact someone disagrees with you. That means you win obviously!

Whatever mate.

😂

@SarahTancredi

So now there are 4 kids.

Look op giving you the benefit of the doubt here for a minute , the drip feeling is not about the frequency if updates but the complete lack of information. We didn't need to know about scones really and there's time for a non update but not an update that really answers any of the questions?

Are all the kids hers
How old are they

Is she home all day running the house with 4 kids underfoot trying to homeschool whilst trying to do all the housework and shopping etc?

Did the not getting up start at baby 1 2 3 or 4?

Have you actually spoken to her yet?

Why don't you just get off the thread. Clearly it's hurting your brain...

Genuinely just asked my husband if this was his username 🙈
In all seriousness though, it shouldn't happen, and it must be shitty to experience. This post has made me look at myself, so thank you!

The fact that your wife asked if you had brushed his hair shows that either you frequently don’t, or that you constantly miss things.
It sounds like you need to sit down together and talk and distribute jobs and tasks fairly. You say your wife does all the cleaning and shopping but presumably she is also taking care of the younger kids all day so he’s tasks should be split fairly between you. I wouldn’t expect her to do everything but neither would I expect you to. You are a partnership and are both jointly responsible for 4 children.

@SarahTancredi

So now there are 4 kids.

Look op giving you the benefit of the doubt here for a minute , the drip feeling is not about the frequency if updates but the complete lack of information. We didn't need to know about scones really and there's time for a non update but not an update that really answers any of the questions?

Are all the kids hers
How old are they

Is she home all day running the house with 4 kids underfoot trying to homeschool whilst trying to do all the housework and shopping etc?

Did the not getting up start at baby 1 2 3 or 4?

Have you actually spoken to her yet?

This

The fact that your wife asked if you had brushed his hair shows that either you frequently don’t, or that you constantly miss things.

Maybe he forgets things because he appears to be doing far more than 50% of the work ontop of waiting on him wife and it makes him tired, people forget things, were all human, and when we're under pressure we tend to forget more.

Or maybe he frequently doesn't do it because he doesn't feel the need. As a child my male cousins hair never got brushed because it was at a length and of a style that just running his fingers through it a couple of times made it look brush. I had thick curly hair as a child and some days my mum sent me to school with it unbrushed because brushing it was too much of a fight in the mornings whilst there was a million other things to get done at the same time. If the wife actively wants something inessential doing its on her to make it happen. If OP doesn't see it as essential to the point where he lets it slide or even just forgets about it the wife doesn't get to complain about it because if she really cared she could get up out of bed and see to it herself, and maybe get her own coffee at the same time so she can put as much milk as she wants in it and not be sending OP back downstairs for more.

@ginandgingers92

Genuinely just asked my husband if this was his username 🙈 In all seriousness though, it shouldn't happen, and it must be shitty to experience. This post has made me look at myself, so thank you!

You made my evening 😂

I thought the op might comment on that post.
So OP, why are you putting up with this?

Such hypocrisy on here. If it was a woman posting, everyone would be jumping on board to say LTB or at least slag off the husband.

Is your wife always this lazy and difficult OP?

On the one hand it seems negative from your wife.

On the other hand, if you did "99.9%" of a job at work, and the "0.1%" you skipped was going to make your whole team look sloppy, I'm sure your colleagues would complain too!