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Dadsnet

Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.

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Original poster

I do 99.9% of a job and my wife will complain about the 0.1%.

265 replies

victorino · 13/07/2020 12:15

I want to vent off a little, I guess. But I am also genuinely interested to find out if this is normal behaviour. Are all wives like mine, or am I especially “lucky”.

So here we go. Here’s what happened this morning. I got up, and then prepared breakfast for the kids, changed the baby, made his bottle and fed him. Then got the kids up to the bathroom, got them washed and changed into their school uniforms. Made a coffee for the wife, brought it to her in bed. Made packed lunch. Took kids to school.

Here’s what I did not do: brush my son’s hair (I forgot).

"Did you brush John’s hair", she asked. I said no, but I brushed his teeth. Big scolding / argument ensued because it is apparently essential that I brush his hair every morning before school. Nevermind all the other things I did correctly and on time…

Is this normal, to be so demanding/ungrateful/rude for something so trivial?

OP posts:

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Original poster

victorino · 14/07/2020 19:32

She may clean the house while he drops the kids off...

Yes that's exactly what happens. Laundry mostly in the mornings.

OP posts:

SummerHouse · 14/07/2020 19:47

If brushed hair is your standard then brush the jeffing hair. I have many a time smoothed DS's down at the school gate. If DP took issue with this I would hand him a brush and suggest he cracks on.

BabyStone · 14/07/2020 20:14

I rarely brush my DSs hair when it's long enougn to brush and quite often DSD comes here with a big matted knot in the back of her long hair, neither child is neglected.. We must be abusive parents 😂😂

BabyStone · 14/07/2020 20:18

These things happen, we forget, it's no big deal. I wouldn't have mentioned it (I probably wouldn't even think of it unless I specifically had asked you to brush his hair)

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/07/2020 21:15

@BabyStone

These things happen, we forget, it's no big deal. I wouldn't have mentioned it (I probably wouldn't even think of it unless I specifically had asked you to brush his hair)

That all depends, doesn't it? DD had hair that would turn into a painful bird's nest if it wasn't brushed morning and night. One missed brushing and I (never DH) would have to spent an hour with a comb and detangle spray getting it sorted.

If he'd 'forgotten' one time, that would have caused pain for DD and work for me.

Maybe OP's kid's hair isn't like that but mine was and I would have resented it on DD's behalf.

FifteenToes · 15/07/2020 02:26

Yes it's normal. Women complain all the time. Although to be fair, your DW sounds worse than most.

There's nothing you can do, other than to set your boundaries and tell her to get up off her lazy arse and do it herself, if it's such a problem.

jadealisha · 15/07/2020 02:47

If she's a stay at home mom shouldn't she be doing all of that, especially if you work full time?! Me and my partner both work so we usually get the girls ready together, or if I'm on an early shifts he will get them read for school in the morning and I sort them out in the evening. Is she unwell? If she isn't it doesn't sound like she is puli her weight tbf if she is a 'stay at home mom' she should be taking on those responsibilities. She might as well be working herself loool
Your clearly doing a great job x

Mothership4two · 15/07/2020 03:14

Nice sexist comment there @FifteenToes

It's actually quite the opposite in this house.

Mothership4two · 15/07/2020 03:16

I keep a brush in the glove compartment for this very problem.

If this is an ongoing thing (her finding faults) OP then I can understand your frustration. That particular morning, from what you say, she was likely tired and stressed and didn't react well. However, it is difficult to tell the dynamics of your relationship as it is your pov obviously. I have seen partners (male and female) who constantly have to "oversee" the other one because something is always forgotten and that is irritating too.

Personally, I would have been on Cloud 9 having a lie in and coffee in bed!

ManOfPies · 09/10/2020 04:31

If I had a wife who didn’t work and lay in bed issuing commands/criticising my efforts....well, she’d better look like bloody Scarlett Johansson!

Frannibananni · 09/10/2020 05:30

@ManOfPies

If I had a wife who didn’t work and lay in bed issuing commands/criticising my efforts....well, she’d better look like bloody Scarlett Johansson!

Or Tom Hardy but then I guess that would be one ugly woman.

ManOfPies · 09/10/2020 05:32

Well, I probs wouldn't argue with Ms Trunchbull tbh.

Childrenofthestones · 12/10/2020 08:22

The usual massive double standards are out for all to see as ever
Reverse sexes in the OP and it would have been a tsunami of .....
"Typical"
"the ungrateful bastard"
"Sexist "
"Kick him to the kerb "
"Why would you put up with that"
" He's treating you like a slave" 😁

Scaraffito · 12/10/2020 08:26

Exactly @Childrenofthestones, and if DH didn't work I would expect him to do the school runs (aside from if poorly etc) whilst I got ready for work in honesty. Happy to share everything but to me that's lazy AF.

safeordangerous · 12/10/2020 20:05

@Childrenofthestones

The usual massive double standards are out for all to see as ever Reverse sexes in the OP and it would have been a tsunami of ..... "Typical" "the ungrateful bastard" "Sexist " "Kick him to the kerb " "Why would you put up with that" " He's treating you like a slave" 😁

Leave the bastard....

I've tried online dating and there's no men worth bothering with but my advice is always leave the bastard don't try and work things out.....

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