Agree @Larkspurblue
I feel very strongly about the scurrilous accusations put on social media yesterday, and Ms Fraser publicly implying that ‘other people’ are wholly responsible for her chaotic emotions.
I know the MN cleaners all have their own stories, but I have never seen anything like the self-pitying accusations and finger pointing from any of them that we get from LF.
Not particularly expecting anybody to be interested, but the following might explain why I am so interested in giving ‘honest feedback’ on the self-absorbed witterings of this particular person.
Bear with, if I seem to be off topic here:
A while back an innocent question on my part, asked of my neighbour, ended up in years of unrelenting vitriol thrown at me and my family, which for a protracted period of time was absolutely horrendous. I thought we had a reasonable relationship with the neighbour, so thought nothing when I bumped into him one day, of asking him about the siting of the dilapidated vehicle he had recently parked in front of my living room window, significantly impacting on the beautiful view of the valley below. I asked how long it would be there, but didn’t even get as far as pointing out that with hundreds of acres of land it might be more neighbourly for this eyesore to be moved elsewhere before he muttered darkly that we “shouldn’t be having this conversation” and stalked off. Very odd. Didn’t know what to make of it.
Little did I know of the zealotry with which a narcissist will punish. The lengths to which they will go to pursue a vendetta. How naive was I? I had obviously made a massive mistake by questioning this man, and I paid for it for YEARS.
To cut a (very) long story short, this was the beginning of the most bizarre and horrendously stressful few years (yes, years!), in which - particularly me - but also my husband and 3 young children were bullied, ostracized, targeted, talked about, threatened, provoked, had property damaged, were spied on, sworn at, filmed – you name it, it happened to us. We also experienced the crocodile tears of a cowardly bully on the odd occasion we managed to challenge his conduct. Other neighbours in our small development, although not as horrendous as the protagonist, soon joined in the fun. (We called them the ‘cheerleaders’ or ‘sycophants’, hence my utter disdain for the LF ‘twitterphants’.) We received pompous missives from the tedious twit of an Army Officer who lived two doors down telling us we had done such and such a misdemeanour, and how our conduct was negatively affecting the neighbourhood, to which I would reply that the accusations were wholly inaccurate, but thanks for letting me know etc. (Of course the accusations were abject nonsense, but I wasn’t going to justify myself to Major Humour Bypass.) The drunken old harpy who lived next door to us would have loud and long-winded phone calls with other neighbours within earshot when we were trying to enjoy some time in our garden, criticizing everything about us, from what we were wearing to my husband’s balding pate(!). (We still sometimes quote her to each other “YOU, with your wine and your candles” and “YOU with your bald head and your shorts!”.) It got to the point where we would sidle out of our own house and scuttle to a small, private part of the garden in the vain hope that nobody would see us and start something. They’d even have what we called ‘clan meetings’ about us, where they would gather in one house to plot about is. Looking back it was all completely surreal!
At one point, the neighbour bought himself a commercial sawmill and would use it daily from 8am to 6pm within yards of our house. The noise was deafening. Cannot possibly be within H&S guidelines to have such noise so close to residences. He did this all summer long for at least the last 3 or 4 years we lived there. (Council Noise Nuisance couldn’t do anything, of course. Of course they couldn’t. Where there isn’t a will, there is certainly no way!) His kids and grandkids used to drive round and round our house on noisy quad bikes for hours on end, with 4 or 5 yapping dogs running alongside. Neighbour collected up all his rusted old farm machinery, trailers, truck, tractors etc (no longer a working farm, in order to get planning permission for 3 residences, one of which we lived in) and dumped it all in front of our view. He stacked black-plastic wrapped bales as high as he could, as close to our house as possible. He blocked me and my young children from leaving the development, by having a ‘broken down’ digger on an impassible part of the access road. He had recently threatened my husband that he would happily go to prison in order to ‘sort me out’, so I was naturally apprehensive at being imprisoned by his digger, and had to ask my then 85-year-old father to drive 20 miles to come and rescue us. Even as we clambered into my father’s car and drove away we were followed at close quarters by my neighbour in his car until we could get to a more public location. He and his son ambushed me on a dark and isolated lane (a situation which I managed, by the skin of my teeth, to escape). This last one was the last straw at which point we decided to leave. (And yes, we should have left years before, but for some naïve reason we used to think it would all get better!) And no, the police ‘couldn’t do anything’. No will. No way.
It was horrendous. And of course, no campaign of bullying is complete without threats of legal action. I got so many solicitor letters from the idiot that the postman once laughed as he handed me the latest! (I was friendly with the postie, and he had no time for idiot neighbour, so he wasn’t being horrible!) There were many threats of injunctions (from where I parked my car, to what I could plant in my garden, to you name it …….), and lots of pompous drivel from a various solicitors. (I think he went through 3 of the buggers during his vendetta against me and mine.) I answered all the solicitor letters myself, pointed out the inaccuracies and asked them to explain themselves, which they could never do. Such letters are sent to intimidate, by idiots who think everybody is intimidated by solicitors, and whilst I wasn’t intimidated by the accusations per se, dealing with constant vexatious complaints all added to the stress we were under. Whilst both working and bringing up 3 children. Oh, and both my mother and sister died during this time, too.
All the misery inflicted upon us was borne of me asking this man a perfectly reasonable question.
So, back on topic. It was during the endless hours of composing responses to solicitors and also to the (by now) Colonel Pomparse (our naughty nickname for the now promoted Army twit) that I happened upon the witterings of Liz Fraser on SM. I know we are not encouraged to diagnose, but by this time I was an expert in spotting narcissistic behaviour. An expert! It would be true to say my interest in this particular narc was displacement from the awfulness of the situation I was in, and although we have long since moved and are thriving as a family, I have kept up my interest in the eccentric conduct of one LF. (What the former neighbours are up to I neither know nor care!)
To this day I get very passionate about the injustice of narcs attacking, bullying and intimidating people who have crossed them. And I don’t accept their crocodile tears.
Sorry if that was very self indulgent, but at least I’ve got it off my chest!