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Original poster

Coming Clean by Liz Fraser

1000 replies

RhinoRhino · 25/06/2023 12:13

A couple of threads that I had posted on relating to the Memoir ‘Coming Clean’ by Liz Fraser have been deleted from the MN site, apparently due to non-compliance of the MN guidelines from the posters. MN are obviously well within their rights to delete threads if they demonstrably fail to comply with their guidelines, nevertheless I feel strongly that MN posters are given a platform to critique this book, and also any other public ventures by this author. It would be neither fair nor right that posters are completely silenced in this particular matter.

As such, and in line with Mumsnet not seeing “anything wrong with honest feedback” I would like to make the comment that Coming Clean as a Memoir falls short due to the shaky and not entirely truthful narrative. There are certain facts contained within this memoir that are easily disprovable (for example, relating to the marital status of both author and her partner when they started their ill-fated affair), which leaves a massive question mark over the rest of the book. Is it entirely reasonable to make money from something that is promoted as truthful when it is, in fact, not entirely true?

I think there are people whose lives have been negatively impacted by the book and its subject matter, and I hope that MN will agree that these people should have a voice, as should anybody who wants to comment on a published piece of work.

As long as posters align their comments with the MN guidelines, this is a topic that people may wish to keep discussing, and also keep in the public domain. And if MN wants to provide a set of rules particular to this thread – certainly if they are arbitrary and differ from the general guidelines - I am sure it would be very helpful.

Mumsnet, please help us to help each other by keeping in the public domain something that us silenced mums feel should be out there.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
48
Shortbread49 · 04/09/2023 10:02

That’s an awful thing to post with no explanation if she was so abused she has a domestic abuse support worker and c ptsd so severe it requires more treatment sessions then usual ( presumably ok to be missed for the summer due to multiple holidays) then why leave your daughter with your abuser and go off for a solo trip to Copenhagen she clearly was not concerned about her wellbeing

Tortiemiaw · 04/09/2023 10:26

Maybe she's just remembered she's supposed to be an ambassador for ndvc so thought she'd better pretend to take an interest.
That's how I initially read it

Ughhelp · 04/09/2023 10:29

Most writers have a good understanding of libel.

Coming Clean by Liz Fraser
Raffington55 · 04/09/2023 13:52

Where are these much-talked-about podcasts then?! 😆🤣

AppleBlossomTimeNow · 04/09/2023 18:01

Not so subtle implications eh Liz? If I was Mike or Harry I'd be absolutely apoplectic that people might infer that they are the rapists & abusers of which she speaks. She uses her platform in such a way to make the distinctions between her private/personal experience & her role of domestic abuse ambassador very blurred. People will of course assume that she is referring to her own experience with these posts. And maybe she is...but then again, if that's true, what of poor little Scout? If it's not true, to libel her father in this way is so cruel & malicious - one day Scout might see these posts or hear about it second hand. It's appalling.

Umbrellaisback · 04/09/2023 18:39

I’m amazed she’s linked her Instagram to her professional website. Thirst shots and manic dancing. Hmmm

Tortiemiaw · 04/09/2023 19:40

There. She's remembered her ndvc connection and thought she'd better say something about those...women she reckons she supports...

Umbrellaisback · 04/09/2023 20:47

Do you think she will remember about being a school governor too? Coming up to the anniversary of the one and only mention I think

Original poster
RhinoRhino · 04/09/2023 21:30

Regarding the domestic violence theme, below is a quote from Coming Clean (Page 183), relating to the head biting incident in Cambridge.

“I know I’m very lucky to have got as far as my early forties and never been physically assaulted by anyone ….”

I think any reasonable person would interpret that to mean that any current references in Ms Fraser’s social media posts to historic DV relate to Mike and only Mike, and not any of her exes. Which, of course, means anybody who has read Coming Clean will know exactly to whom she is referring when she now references abuse etc. Mike. The father of her young child.

The allegations of DV have never been through a court of law so Mike has never had a chance to defend himself, and I am very uncomfortable with this constant narrative being put into the public domain without challenge.

It’s a tricky one, and none of us know what really went on, but I also think it is unfair to be able to put out into the public domain these thinly veiled accusations about a particular person whose identity is obvious to anybody with half a brain when they are unable to defend their position.

I thought in this country we are innocent until proven guilty.

OP posts:
nopainnogain1 · 04/09/2023 22:21

This just popped up when I refreshed her twitter page.😆

Coming Clean by Liz Fraser
Tortiemiaw · 04/09/2023 22:40

Oh that is BRILLIANT. Excellent work screenshotting. It'll be gone soon...😁

Raffington55 · 04/09/2023 23:20

RhinoRhino · 04/09/2023 21:30

Regarding the domestic violence theme, below is a quote from Coming Clean (Page 183), relating to the head biting incident in Cambridge.

“I know I’m very lucky to have got as far as my early forties and never been physically assaulted by anyone ….”

I think any reasonable person would interpret that to mean that any current references in Ms Fraser’s social media posts to historic DV relate to Mike and only Mike, and not any of her exes. Which, of course, means anybody who has read Coming Clean will know exactly to whom she is referring when she now references abuse etc. Mike. The father of her young child.

The allegations of DV have never been through a court of law so Mike has never had a chance to defend himself, and I am very uncomfortable with this constant narrative being put into the public domain without challenge.

It’s a tricky one, and none of us know what really went on, but I also think it is unfair to be able to put out into the public domain these thinly veiled accusations about a particular person whose identity is obvious to anybody with half a brain when they are unable to defend their position.

I thought in this country we are innocent until proven guilty.

She admits to physically lashing out at him in Coming Clean if I recall.

Raffington55 · 04/09/2023 23:21

nopainnogain1 · 04/09/2023 22:21

This just popped up when I refreshed her twitter page.😆

Omg 😆

Original poster
RhinoRhino · 05/09/2023 06:47

@Raffington55 Yes, I hear you re the "lashing out". I have my own thoughts about the whole DV narrative, and I certainly don't accept everything Ms Fraser says at face value. (She's easily proven herself to be unreliable on 'facts'.) But as I said, none of us really know what went on, and if Mike ever did anything physical then that is 100% unacceptable in a civilised society. And against the law. As would it be if she ever did anything physical to him.

And whatever happened, imho it is unfair to effectively name and shame him in public, to thousands of SM followers, on BBC Radio Headington interviews, in Runners World magazine and probably to the (short lived?) mum-friends at the daughter's school etc etc. Would she like it if he did the same to her? Her conduct at times towards him during that relationship certainly - in her own words - fell far short of ideal, and at times smacks of coercive control, financial control, emotional manipulation and even 'grooming'. She does not come out of any of this at all well, in spite of what she wants people to think.

OP posts:
Roomonthedustpan · 05/09/2023 10:40

Brilliantly put.

Raffington55 · 05/09/2023 12:33

RhinoRhino · 05/09/2023 06:47

@Raffington55 Yes, I hear you re the "lashing out". I have my own thoughts about the whole DV narrative, and I certainly don't accept everything Ms Fraser says at face value. (She's easily proven herself to be unreliable on 'facts'.) But as I said, none of us really know what went on, and if Mike ever did anything physical then that is 100% unacceptable in a civilised society. And against the law. As would it be if she ever did anything physical to him.

And whatever happened, imho it is unfair to effectively name and shame him in public, to thousands of SM followers, on BBC Radio Headington interviews, in Runners World magazine and probably to the (short lived?) mum-friends at the daughter's school etc etc. Would she like it if he did the same to her? Her conduct at times towards him during that relationship certainly - in her own words - fell far short of ideal, and at times smacks of coercive control, financial control, emotional manipulation and even 'grooming'. She does not come out of any of this at all well, in spite of what she wants people to think.

People in active addiction are very unwell and tend to behave terribly and unacceptably. Based on the way that Mike has been sober in recovery for more than three years and behaved 'normally', a judge has obviously deemed him fit to look after his daughter. He will also have been sharing a home with his partner and her young child (children?) for quite some time before the custody arrangement, so I am sure his partner's testimony held weight. Liz needs to leave it alone now for her young daughter's sake.

Umbrellaisback · 05/09/2023 15:40

So the haters are fans? I’m not quite sure that’s how positive and professional engagement works but if that’s what she wants to believe, it’s no more outlandish than any of the other tosh

CloudBayOz · 05/09/2023 17:33

Blimey. Imagine hiring her to do your PR. Her company strapline could be, “Reputation damage maximisation!” 💅🏻

Coming Clean by Liz Fraser
CloudBayOz · 05/09/2023 17:35

Yep. Not once has she acknowledged, let alone praised Mike for turning his life around. She wrote a book pretending this was her hope. Turns out she’s well p!seed off he’s done so!

Raffington55 · 05/09/2023 19:36

Umbrellaisback · 05/09/2023 15:40

So the haters are fans? I’m not quite sure that’s how positive and professional engagement works but if that’s what she wants to believe, it’s no more outlandish than any of the other tosh

I think Liz is a fan of the haters more like - any attention is good - positive or negative. If Mumsnet and Tattle closed - and all the threads concerning her disappeared - she'd be devastated. It's all good old narcissistic supply to her. The more of it, the better!

LynetteScavo · 05/09/2023 20:17

Of course Liz loves the haters. She just loves the ATTENTION. And she does react to some criticism/advice, which makes chuckle.

She purchased a cheap pair of heels when it was pointed out it's not really the thing to wear dirty Converse to business meetings, and posted photos of Oxford after it was suggested she appreciate the UK more.

LynetteScavo · 05/09/2023 20:27

Definition of fan noun from the Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary
fan noun

/fæn/
/fæn/
Idioms
a person who admires somebody/something or enjoys watching or listening to somebody/something very much

Well, I certainly don't admire Liz. I can't listen to her, hearing her speak is just awful, but reading her nonsense is, in a grim way, entertaining.

As someone on Tattle posted, watching Liz is like looking at car crash on the other side of the motorway. You know you shouldn't look, but you can't help yourself.

Rachealfar · 05/09/2023 20:27

Yes she did! I laughed at the photos of Oxford almost as much as her claiming to be cycling to work. 🤥😂

Rachealfar · 05/09/2023 20:28

Yes, yes, yes!!!!

Oxonmumming · 06/09/2023 11:21

👋 Hey there, another school mum chiming in! It's just heart-wrenching to see poor little S caught up in all of this. Honestly, she seems like such a cheerful kid, but you can't ignore all the gossip swirling around about her parents thanks to her mum's social media updates. It's definitely going to have an effect on her friendships down the road, don't you think? 😔

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