21, on apprenticeship. Mum wants half my wage each week.

[Helloworld469]

So im a 21 years old female, i get apprenticeship wage (dog grooming) 5 days a week which is not much. I clean up in the house, i wash everyones clothes, i cook for everyone when mum says she wont which is often. I HAVE to make everyones breakfast before work ( have to be in work for 8:50am.) I come home to cook my brothers teas and feed the pets take them out and do most things. My mum says i do not do nothing. I dont help with cost for food or anything even tho my half i do mostly spend on my brothers and not me. I give my mum 100 each week and i get 100. My mum says i should be paying her more so i should only get round 50 pound towards myself. Is this right or should i pay her more? I dont go out either and i dont socialise so im asking for advice.

Why do you need to make everyone’s breakfast? Why isn’t your mum making the kids tea?
That seems a lot for an apprentice.

You earn £200 and give your mum half? I think that's plenty.

Are you an apprentice housewife?? Sorry but your mum is being very unreasonable. Unless she can't do things for herself?? (Ill health)

Nope absolutely not, how did she manage before you became her cash cow. Give what you feel is reasonable to help with costs, stick with your training and move out as soon as you can. I have two children your age and I think it is terrible she is taking your money, good luck x

I think you are giving her plenty, why do you have to do so many chores? Is your mother working 3 jobs to keep the lights on and food on the table?

Apparently im ment to because im the eldest and its my responsibility?? I dont really got a choice

I wouldn't be paying anymore than half. Why should you? £100 a week is plenty in my opinion.

They are her children, her responsibility not yours.

Your mother is financially abusing you, I'm not sure what to advise. She is also following sexist stereotypes by expecting you to cook and clean after your brother because you're female. What does she actually do apart from take your money and expect you to run the household?

Does your mother leave the house before breakfast?

No, it's her job as a mother to do this not yours. She is a financially abusive lazy fucker who can't be bothered to parent her own children properly.

She said its her job to look after us. And wont work. And says she dont get money for me no more. Which mind you i do understand. The reason she wants more is because for bills i dont pay and food. But i dont get enough as it is

Surely making breakfast is just putting cereal in a bowl or toast in toaster? Why does this need you involved?

Whilst we can say your siblings are not your responsibility it won't help if you're living at home and have to live by your mother's choices.

I would push back though on the money if you can. I would say taking that much could be considered financial abuse.

Get out as soon as you can. Living in a shared house would be better for you

Your mother is being unreasonable, unless she’s out of the door for an early start she ought be making breakfast. Or teaching the younger ones. My sons make their own breakfast.

I wouldn’t take half my son’s apprenticeship wage if he had one. Absolutely not more!

Urm no? But she is awake before all of us.. she keeps saying move out the saying i cant because i dont earn enough. So im in a sticky situation and i dont know what to do.

I just read that your mother doesn't work and wants your wages to make up the shortfall for her not working & not receiving child benefit for you anymore.

Is there proper apprenticeships for dog grooming? Is this a proper thing, alongside education? Or just an excuse to pay less than minimum wage.
What’s your plan? To become a dog groomer? Can you do anything else? You’re old enough to get a full time job and start branching out before you become stuck at home doing all the drudge work.

Tell her to fuck off and find a room in a shared house. Also consider a career path that pays more.

Your mum is being really unfair to you. Whilst I think you should give her some money if you're earning, you shouldn't be having to give her so much. And whilst yes you should pitch in with chores, it sounds like you are doing too much. Is there any other adults in your family who you trust and could speak to?

So your mum doesn't work...is that right ?

If so I'd be telling her to get off her arse & get a job. Seems like as she's lost CB (and maybe CM as well) she is looking to you to replace that money.

Jeez.

Find a room share and leave.

I wouldn’t give her more because you need to save to try and move out !! Don’t get trapped living this life with your mother mother. I loved like a dog with mine for years but i got free

She says she does cleaning while im at work, but i dont really see it. And does other things. But she is by herself but i feel like i could live off what i earn if she gave me a chance at least . Thank you for your responses btw. I dont have anyone to talk to about this