To sell my belongings and give up my dogs

[Staceyp788]

So...I'm in the same boat as most people rn. I had a good job that I have up to do something I enjoyed, we weren't well off but could afford to live and have days out and yearly holidays etc. Then we all got hit with the cost of living and shits hit the fan. I can't afford my bills. I have cut out all subscriptions, I buy everything from aldi and their essentials range if we run out of something in the week then tough it's gone. The only thing I haven't done is quit smoking...yes I know, I know...I will give it up, I have done it before and will do it again...however the £100 a month this would save us doesn't make up on what we are missing. My husband tried to better himself and get his HGV licence. £3000 later and it turns out that he's really good at driving a lorry, but doesn't like it... that put us in a hole for 5 weeks, cause his anxiety couldn't take it and he didn't go back to work. We have been playing catch up ever since. So now I have to sell my motorbike (crappy Chinese model) my car (crappy old fiat) and my gym equipment(a fit cube, a cheap cross trainer and a hill climber)...and I cant afford to feed the children, let alone the dogs. There is no help for us. I've already checked. You can't just walk into a food bank. And also I can't just get a new job cause I'm in the middle of an apprenticeship. So basically, life's shit and I've had enough.

Funny my hubby hates his job but he does it for me and our 4 kids not sure many people adore there work, you make a family then feed and clothe them. Smoking well I stopped a long while ago and that 100 is only short by 20 for our monthly shop including our pets foods. You shouldn't have to be selling your stuff what does that say about your hubby!

This! Just because you don’t like the responses you’re getting don’t slag off mumsnet you’re the one who posted.

Sorry you are having a hard time here.

If you want more support and advice I would strongly urge you to have a look at the debt free wannabe section on the forum of money saving expert website.

Where I live there are food banks that you can self refer to so worth googling local food bank, pet banks to see what they offer or community shops/ pantries

You're right. It was a poor choice of words. I'm finding it hard to feed them, but of course they are being fed. I'm trying to batch cook so they still get everything they need and it's cheaper but it's still draining when I work 40+ hours a week and study. My DH also now works 40-60 hours a week (guaranteed 40) but because he was out of work for 5 weeks and we kept telling ourselves we will catch up, we can consolidate the debts, we'll get through this we've now found ourselves feeling unable to get through this. Smoking is a bad habit I picked up at a young age and have quit several times sometimes for 2 years at a time. Always to go back again. I hate my self for it. It's the one thing I would change. And I beat myself up about it every single hour of the day. Yes the £100 would help. It used to be £240 2 months ago. So I'm getting there. Slow progress is better than no progress. I may even wake up tomorrow and quit altogether. Its what I've done in the past. I hear you. Why complain about having no food when you spunk money on killing your self every month? Well because I'm trying and it doesn't seem like it's enough. And the more I try the less it seems to make a difference

@Staceyp788 can you understand how people are having limited sympathy here….

If you are both smoking even as little as 10 a day lambert and butler £12.65 a 20pk…… (which is a grim cigarette)

That is £12.65 a day, £4,617.25 a year…..

6 and a half times the school uniform cost!!

You aren’t poor… you are choosing to piss the cost of a car away each year on an addiction.

Both of you need to stop.
And he needs to treat his anxiety.

Of course you won’t be accepted at a food bank - you do have quite a bit of excess cash.

I don’t have any advice OP but it sounds like you’re working bloody hard. You’re doing good, even if it doesn’t feel like it. I hope things turn around for you

@Robinni perhaps take your virtue signalling elsewhere. You’re kicking someone while they’re already down, it’s not out of concern and it’s not out of helpfulness. It’s malice.

Also want to reaffirm to OP that she will get through this. It is all totally within the control of you and your DH and can be remedied quickly as long as you both are focused and determined.

Can empathise quitting is difficult; I did when the price got to £5.65… I couldn’t warrant spending the cost of a new bathroom on nothing…. Believe in yourself and focus on what is really important for you and your family 💐

@ShimmeringShirts please see my further post to OP.

I genuinely didn’t realise how much I was spending until I saw the math and was horrified.

Put your kids before cigarettes

This sums up what I'm thinking reading the OP's post. I feel really sorry for the OP's children and pets.

Don’t sell your belongings and give up your dogs, stop smoking. Both you and your husband will save a fortune.

@Staceyp788 cant really help with anything else but regarding the uniform, can you trawl selling sites or even contact the school as they generally have used uniform. I got my sons full kit for under £40, it would have cost over £140 had it been new. For how long they're in it, is it worth buying new? Might save you a few quid till you get back on your feet.

A friend made her partner a special board. It had the numbers from 1-52 on it and a seven drilled holes in each number. The idea was that the partner put a fiver in a hole if they hadn't smoked that day, to represent the money they had saved. It would probably be a tenner now.

And it worked.... it was a nice, if labour intensive, visual reminder, but a box full of fivers/tenners would have exactly the same amount of money in it!

"I would never give up my dogs".

But you are struggling to feed your HUMAN CHILDREN! Get rid of the dogs. Prioritise your children. Really, it's not difficult.

I hope by getting rid you mean giving to a responsible rescue but tbh it would be better for the OP to get rid of the partner and the cigarettes first.

Champix was withdrawn for safety reasons so is no longer available in this country.

You should be able to get 3 months of free NRT from your local smoking cessation service though and phone counselling to support you with quitting.

I hope things get easier for you soon.

FFS read her posts. She's giving up already

Are they at a private school?

@Staceyp788 I can understand why your dh might be reluctant to try medication again, mine was wrong for a long time and it made things much worse for a while BUT they got it right in the end and it was a game changer. As for the smoking, you’re doing it right and you’ll get there. The worst way to quit is to be forced and it never works long term. I tried and couldn’t do it properly until something just went “No more” and I haven’t smoked since (about 12 years now I think) and you sound like you’re not far off that.

You could try calling your credit card companies and see if you can make a reduced payment for a bit, although they will probably put a stop on the cards if you do, so you may need to weigh that up. It might also be worth seeing if you have a local pet food bank, they’ve started to become a thing so you may have one in your area.
It will get better OP.

You say if you run out of things then it's tough, your cigarette money would be that top up money wouldn't it. £100 a month is a lot of money for someone who's saying they can't live. Not really any excuse to continue smoking in your situation, sorry.

Again, read the OP's posts at least. She's already giving up.

I give up.

Sorry OP, we're at the stage of a long thread where people don't bother reading past your first post.

Good luck with going from five cigarettes to none.