To sell my belongings and give up my dogs

[Staceyp788]

So...I'm in the same boat as most people rn. I had a good job that I have up to do something I enjoyed, we weren't well off but could afford to live and have days out and yearly holidays etc. Then we all got hit with the cost of living and shits hit the fan. I can't afford my bills. I have cut out all subscriptions, I buy everything from aldi and their essentials range if we run out of something in the week then tough it's gone. The only thing I haven't done is quit smoking...yes I know, I know...I will give it up, I have done it before and will do it again...however the £100 a month this would save us doesn't make up on what we are missing. My husband tried to better himself and get his HGV licence. £3000 later and it turns out that he's really good at driving a lorry, but doesn't like it... that put us in a hole for 5 weeks, cause his anxiety couldn't take it and he didn't go back to work. We have been playing catch up ever since. So now I have to sell my motorbike (crappy Chinese model) my car (crappy old fiat) and my gym equipment(a fit cube, a cheap cross trainer and a hill climber)...and I cant afford to feed the children, let alone the dogs. There is no help for us. I've already checked. You can't just walk into a food bank. And also I can't just get a new job cause I'm in the middle of an apprenticeship. So basically, life's shit and I've had enough.

my energy bill was £47pm this time last year...its now £245

Hi OP….. bills on standard variable rate are currently about 2.5 times what they were a year ago, so either you have come to the end of a phenomenal fixed rate, or else that £47pm wasn’t enough to cover your usage a year ago, and you’re now having to pay more to catch up.

Here are some practical tips to cut those energy bills:-

1. Turn down the flow temperature on your boiler

2. Identify appliances which use a lot on standby (an energy-measuring plug will help you do that) and make sure they are switched off at the wall or via a smart plug when not needed

3. Move to Octopus Energy and go on the waiting list for their Tracker tariff. Meanwhile, go on Agile for electricity. If you know anyone who is already supplied by Octopus, ask them for their referral code, and each of you will get £50 credit on your energy account.

Both Tracker and Agile are linked to wholesale prices, and at the moment that means they are a lot cheaper than standard variable rates. YOU HAVE TO WATCH THE PRICES AS THEY ARE VOLATILE AND COULD POTENTIALLY GO A LOT HIGHER THAN STANDARD TARIFF. But if you have your wits about you, you can save a bomb. I switched my mum to Tracker at the beginning of February, and in the first 3 months she saved nearly £400.

Thee is a whole community out there of people sharing tips for saving money on energy bills.

Chemists are always looking for people to deliver prescriptions, and it's only a van!

What;s your food bill like? We are vegetarian and cook everything from scratch, and it's very cheap. Can you reduce your meat and have more veggie meals? No one needs meat to survive, and that way at least you can eat properly.

Yes the £100 would help. It used to be £240 2 months ago.

I hope she can give up I really do. The situation has been like this for months so I have little sympathy when someone is pleading poverty and yet two months ago was spending £240 a month on cigarettes let alone £100.

Indeed, smoking and an apprenticeship you enjoy. Mind you, unless you smoke about 100 cigarettes a day, I'm going to assume you're buying actual cigarettes instead of tobacco. Even before I quit smoking I'd switched to rolling as it was far cheaper.

Jesus! If you were spending £240 only two months ago why didn’t you think of cutting back sooner on the fags and saving some cash instead of suddenly panicking now and thinking about getting rid of the animals. Talk about priorities! And if you and your husband were both smoking that amount, that’s nearly £500 disappearing in to smoke. I really don’t have much sympathy at this point.

But also some perspective .. my energy bill was £47pm this time last year...its now £245. I'm not the only one whose struggling and they probably have more bad habits than me

I think a lot of posters have forgotten that these energy bill rises, as well as similar mortgage rises and rent rises due to interest rate increases, are unaffordable for many families. And food prices have also increased considerably.

Yes, OP and her husband need to quit smoking; they can't afford it, money wise or health wise.

But the other ongoing issues are also breaking a lot of families.

It sounds tough OP. Personally, I think your husband needs to find a job unless he can get disability for his anxiety.

You say that it's always you that has to make sacrifices. Has he done this before? If he has you should maybe consider your long-term options. Is this how you want your life to look in 20 years time?

He should stick it out for at least as long as your apprenticeship runs, even if it's only part-time.

Long-term he needs to find something he can do easily without too much stress and not fritter money on pipe dreams.

I would try to continue with the apprenticeship. I'm assuming it's not a really long course and once your done you'll be in a much better position.

If it makes you feel better I've given up on the idea of retraining as a child psychologist because I can't justify the loss of income versus long-term gain. I know I'll earn more eventually but the real cost of not working is an issue for me.

My dh is an HGV driver and he doesn't particularly like it either but he gets on with it because he earns well and it pays the bills! I don"t particularly love my job either but do it for the same reasons. We just make the most of our time off

Agree.

Not read the whole thread but is there a community fridge near you? These are for anyone

My dh is a hgv driver but he loves it. He's home every night. It's not for everyone.

Those saying about the smoking, and to just stop. Maybe they've never smoked? I'm an ex smoker and a rare type who can socially smoke then not bother for months. I often have 2 or non. Regular smoking is very hard to stop. Hence there being cessation clinics. It's extremely addictive. I don't have an addictive personality (mam was the same) I rarely drink much now. But a lot do it's just the way they're made. I have different faults. And if op is under stress this adds to the difficulty. Plus OP has cut down a lot already.

100 dollars extra a month will make a difference in feeding your family. I understand you are stressed but when it is to this point as a parent you don't have the luxury of smoking

Mn hq has commented to say that people are reporting not believing op. Whether all is as she says it is her later post is true, a whole lot of people telling her her dh is rubbish, doesn’t have anxiety and she should leave him, being told she’s a bad mother because she smokes, calling them both lazy because they tried to do what we all ultimately want, an easier job or a job we enjoy more … horrible thread, can’t believe it hasn’t been deleted for the meanness alone

I’m an ex smoker, OP. I know how flipping hard it is to stop xxx

Contact citizens advice and shelter, they may be able to advise you on grants. In Wales we have a DAF fund, for people who are struggling and you don't have to be on benefits. Maybe there is something similar in your area of the country?

Smoking is an addiction. It’s not that easy to just quit, especially if your stressed.

Good luck with quitting op.

Glad your DH has a job.

Times are hard but you will get through. Have you checked that you aren’t entitled to any benefits at all?

Hi OP, when the kids shoes need replacing I'd recommend having a look on ebay and getting some decent second hand ones, you often get some really good bargains for shoes that look like they've hardly been warn.

For the energy bills look at ways to cut down - shower less, wash clothes that aren't worn next to the body less, dry clothes outdoors rather than in the tumble dryer (if you have one).

It might be worth contacting stepchange and seeing if they can give you any advice on how best to handle the credit card situation - especially if you are paying a lot of interest. Your DH also needs to be putting in long hours to help pay back the HGV loan seeing as he bailed on the job, you might have bailed on yours too but you hadn't taken a huge loan to train for it or retrain (I assume).

I'm an ex-smoker. It's hard to quit. It's really hard to quit if you live with a smoker. You really do need to both quit if you are going to stay with your husband.

The key thing is that if you slip up and buy a packet, put the rest of the packet under the tap and put them in the bin and get straight back on the wagon. The money that they cost is gone whether you smoke the whole packet or not. It is harder to get back on the wagon if you've had ten compared to having one.

I love the idea of having some kind of visible storage of the money you are saving.

Hi, all. OP has left the site and won't be returning to this thread and has asked us to delete it for privacy reasons. We'll be doing so shortly.

I’m an ex smoker too and yes, I know it’s really hard but if it’s that or feed my family or give up my dogs. I think I know which I would choose.

I hope OP is okay. This thread got unnecessarily nasty very quickly.

How sad 🥺Op was open and honest too.

Yep. There was some good advice given in the spaces between people beratinng her for smoking (long after she'd said she was giving it up) so this thread could have been a help. Instead it was Mumset judgement at its worst and made her flee.

Public service announcement to the judgey fuckers: Smoking is a health problem, not a moral failing. Same with any addiction.