I literally can’t afford to live anymore.......

[Beaniebeemer]

Things have just gone to shit over the last year. My DP tried his hand at being self employed after being made redundant a year ago but he’s been ill recently (mental health, sectioned) and the business wasn’t viable so he’s unemployed now. I work part time earning about £800 a month. We have two children. A mortgage and a lot of debt. The house has about £100k equity but it’s tiny and we can’t downsize. I really don’t want to lose the house as the mortgage is cheap and rent would be so much more. We are in the universal credit system but I'm unsure what money we will get going forward. DP is getting ESA and he’s applied for PIP but I believe that takes ages. We probably need £2000 a month to survive 😢

Who owns the house and who owes the debt? And how much is total debt?

I'm not sure that some of the people commenting on this thread realise just how bad your mental health has to be nowadays in order to be sectioned. Also how tough it is on the immediate family supporting someone who has been sectioned.

OP I don't have anything practical to say in helping you out of your situation but hang in there. It sounds like you're being very pro-active and positive in trying to deal with life at the moment.

Surely with a sick husband and 2 children you are entitled to help. I would speak to CAB they helped a friend of mine. Get an urgent referral.
Also your husband could be entitled to sickness benefit.

@MarieFromStTropez

£100k equity? Jeez, how the other half live 🙄. There are people SO much worse off than you.

If things are that tight, then maybe consider selling up and moving into rented accommodation.

And the meanest spirited poster of the night award goes to: @MarieFromStTropez

a) Why would the OP do that? Rent will be more than mortgage and she'd be giving the money she has worked hard to build up into the pockets of a landlord, and removing her chances of getting back on the property ladder, very possibly for ever.
b) Given the OP's husband has been sectioned this year on top of her financial problems perhaps you could try to either say something supportive or not say anything at all. Just because someone has different problems to you, or different degrees of problems, doesn't mean they aren't deserving of respect.

If your DP has mental health issues and has recently been sectioned, I don't think it's a good idea for him to get a full-time job right now, however much you might need the money. He needs go slowly so that he doesn't overwhelm himself and become unwell again.

With the children going back to school next week, would it not make more sense for you to work full-time, and then he can do all the child-care and maybe work PT around that if his health allows it?

£100k equity? Jeez, how the other half live 🙄. There are people SO much worse off than you.
Op just said that they can't downstairs as already limited for size. So no help unless they go for equity sharks which cost more.

I would see if you could remortgage the house for a higher amount and clear the debts and see if you can increase term at same time so you would then have the same mortgage payment as now but debt would be paid off.

£600 debt per month? That’s huge. Can you get a 0% balance transfer or a long term cheap loan to reduce this outgoing.

I believe Sky will be increasing their prices soon so depending on your contract you may actually have a right to cancel. www.uswitch.com/broadband/guides/sky-increasing-prices-what-consumers-can-do/ uswitch has info on where to check your T&C to see if you can escape on any price increases, if not you should be able to downgrade but ensure they don't go extending the contract if you do.
Good luck

I feel for you OP. As said above you need to go through your outgoings and cut back ruthlessly. Call all your debtors' customer services and explain. Also change your phone company you're being ripped.
It makes zero sense to sell the house. 100k isn't that much of a back up to pay for rental in the long term and the resettlement costs will add up.

I was thinking the same thing as a previous poster. Remortgage as a Buy To Let so that it isn't based on your income. Move to a rented 3 bed apartment in a cheaper area. Use the rental income from the mortgaged property to cover your rent. Use the equity that you take out to pay off your debts and have a cushion while you both get back into full-time work. Take one car off the road so that you can stop paying tax and insurance.
Look at giff gaff for PAYG. Around £8 per month for a good bundle. Even Vodafone, who have rubbish customer service and are an irritating company have £10 PAYG bundles.
I know you have tried Sky, but check with the ombudsman or FCA if they should be releasing you from contracts if you've been impacted by Covid (as you have).
Good luck OP. I know it's very stressful but you can get through this.

Is your husband well enough to be working full time? Would it be worth you trying to work full time for now?

You can cancel Sky or at least reduce your package the key phrase is "this contract is causing me financial hardship"

I think, you should hang on to your home because that exactly what it is. home to your family. You have to live somewhere.

Are there any family members who may help?
Are there any really basic ways of making some money?
Are there any cuts you could make?

Call sky and get them to downgrade your package. They should do this even if you’re in contract.
Get onto money saving expert forums. Always good advice there.

Ah ok @Polly2020 only your post said it was very rare to be awarded to someone with a section 2. Not my experience, thankfully. As @Jijithecat mentioned you have to be very poorly to have any section these days.

Long term MH eg bi polar and schizophrenia, yes definitely misunderstood by PIP assessors, particularly when they haven’t had a crisis for a while.

First you can't pay the debt, it's not a priority. Pay something to each provider and let them know you circumstances.

Then contact your mortgage provider. Tell them your DH was sectioned and can't work. You might have to go through a few different departments, but once they know you're serious and trying your best in a bad situation they should offer interest only payments for 6-12 months to give your DH time to recover and get employment or for you to get full-time work.

Also apply to the council for descretionary Council tax benefit. They may help for a short time. They may tell you to stop paying non-priority debts so you can pay them.

Good luck!

i have read most of pps and all op posts sorry if duplicating though.

have you looked at websites turn2us and entiledto? they check what benefits you're eligible for. take a look at the grants section on turn2us there may be a charity payment you can go for. ask cab to refer you if this is needed. also check your fuel tariff and ask your supplier to lower your payments for a bit, check if you're eligible for a reduced water rate (not a priority outgoing anyway if you can't pay, they can't cut you off, actually neither can the gas or electric come to think of it so you could reduce the direct debit off your own back, you will have to pay it back later though-ask me if you want advice on this) xx sounds really hard op

You keep ignoring the many suggestions to go f/t yourself which is the obvious solution if your dp is unwell - why is that? Are you concerned about leaving dp to manage the childcare and house? Sounds like you will be entitled to some UC payment but not £1200 worth.

Do the people who say just find another job not understand what’s just happened in the last 12 months and how difficult it is to get a full time job just now.

Or, find an evening or weekend job. That’s may be possible if your current contract allows a second job. Many don’t.

I’d suggest speaking to your mortgage lender. See what they say and if there is anything they can do to help. As others have said, see if it’s possible to change SIM card for something cheaper.

Look hard at your food budget and cut back as much as possible.

Someone above said contact the CAB. Definitely worth a call for help and guidance.

can he claim job seekers?

Don’t sell your home @Beaniebeemer it’s the only stability you have right now. Don’t pay the non priority debt. I imagine it’s taking every bit of your resilience to support your DH right now. Get the benefits in payment and breathe.

The main issue seems to be the debts, so sorry if it has been mentioned already, but is there any way of coming to an agreement for a specified period? Maybe a break for 12-48 months paying interest only?

Obviously check to see how this will affect credit rating and make a decision with all the information, but it seems to me that you are living on a shoestring anyway.

Am sure it looks really bleak at the moment, but am sure there is a solution

Is there any reason why you can't look for FT work for yourself rather than your DH. If he was ill enough to be sectioned, would you not be the more reliable earner right now?
If he's ill enough to be sectioned then the OP probably needs to look after him as well as the children!