I literally can’t afford to live anymore.......

[Beaniebeemer]

Things have just gone to shit over the last year. My DP tried his hand at being self employed after being made redundant a year ago but he’s been ill recently (mental health, sectioned) and the business wasn’t viable so he’s unemployed now. I work part time earning about £800 a month. We have two children. A mortgage and a lot of debt. The house has about £100k equity but it’s tiny and we can’t downsize. I really don’t want to lose the house as the mortgage is cheap and rent would be so much more. We are in the universal credit system but I'm unsure what money we will get going forward. DP is getting ESA and he’s applied for PIP but I believe that takes ages. We probably need £2000 a month to survive 😢

@MarieFromStTropez

£100k equity? Jeez, how the other half live 🙄. There are people SO much worse off than you.

If things are that tight, then maybe consider selling up and moving into rented accommodation.

Don't kick OP when she is down. The reality is the equity is meaningless as it's not physical money she can feed her kids with.

She has already explained rent would be higher than mortgage

Can you not work full time? As PP said, a mortgage and children on one part time salary is never going to be feasible. Otherwise sell the house & move in with family or start renting.

The debts are the thing that are weighing you down, what are they? You should contact an agency like Stepchange to see if you can rearrange payments, you obviously can’t keep repaying them.

It doesn’t sound like you’re DH is going to be able to work any time soon, are you able to increase hours or anything?

Extend mortgage to max years and elongate term of debts?

Declutter to give more space in house

Also if you work full time

My whole house eis work 100k so it's quite hard to feel you're in really dire circumstances. However it does seem the issue is about cash flow rather than overall wealth. Also you need credit checks for renting so I'm not actually sure selling up and renting would help. Same for moving I suppose. I'm not sure what size mortgage you'd get in £800 a month.

Is there a possibility for you to work film time? I assume dp is still quite unwell? How far away from being work is he? Which group is he in for esa?

Can you increase your hours to full time? Your DH can do the school runs if he isn't working. Maybe an evening job if he is at home.

Hang in there OP. Things will improve ❤️

Thanks everyone for your advice. We could afford all this pre corona when we were earning more like £3k a month between us. Life changes quickly and we’ve been caught out unfortunately

Don’t get rid of life insurance. Massive false economy, particularly given your DH’s health. You could get better phone deals though.

I’m desperately trying to find DP a full time job as I believe that’s the solution

This doesn’t seem right. Why isn’t your partner seeking work on their own account ?

Have you spoken to Step Change or someone similar for help with the debts?

I need to get DP a job...

He needs to find himself a job of he's able to work, it's not something that someone else can do for you.

If you’re DP isn’t able to look for his own job, how on earth will he do it once you’ve found him one?
Why don’t you look for a full time job for yourself instead?

I’m desperately trying to find DP a full time job as I believe that’s the solution

I wouldn’t think this is a good short-term solution if his mental health is so poor, he’s been sectioned. I would look at you going full time.

The cars are worthless so there wouldn’t be much merit in selling them

I doubt suggestions to get rid of a car were made to raise funds by selling it, but because it would be one less vehicle to tax/insure/put petrol in. How far is the school from home?

You should be able to get council tax benefit that will cover a portion as you're still working you won't be entitled to the full amount but should be something.
Can you cut back elsewhere? How much do you spend on food a month? Takeaways? Anything like that.

Given how little you pay for the mortgage, stick with it if at all possible.

If utilities, Council tax gas to be paid. Water...not so much because they’re not allowed to totally cut you off. Only if things get truly desperate, mind.

Have him sign up with temping agencies and or use him for all childcare and sign up yourself. You need a second/third job to bring you up to full time and then some, since he’s not working.

You only need one phone.

Meal planning. No deviations.

Look at everything you own and start selling excess.

Make 2021 a no spend year if it’s not there already. No new clothes, books, no takeaways, nothing that costs. Kids activities need to be free or token (eg we have local football each full term for free as part of a govt program).

And if you can’t afford the debts, get debt help from one of the advice charities. They may be able to arrange something.

Any pets?

If you're on sim only it should be rolling monthly so switch to something cheaper, think we both pay about 7 or 8 quid a month. Only small but every bit will help

Agree with getting rid of a car unless you're incredibly rural. If DH is out of work he can walk/cycle the kids to school, better weather is on its way.

Please get help on the debts, its your biggest outgoing and there are options, MSE is great on this

Agree not to cancel insurances

If he has been recently sectioned, it isn't an easy as just finding full time work and being good to go. He should still have a support worker, they can help with his PIP application which will make his claim more likely to be successful.

Is there any way you can go FT? Although you say the cars aren't worth much, it's the ongoing insurance and tax etc that adds up, if money is that tight one of them has to go. Contact Sky, they might be able to offer a suspension of service, and look into consolidating your loans.

It won't be easy unfortunately, but you'll have to be a bit brutal in looking at what can be cut, even if it's not ideal.

Apply for council tax support. Ask for it to be backdated by a month.

Get some debt advice. That's the big one. Get those costs down ASAP. That's unaffordable on your income.

You can probably reduce your mobile cost by half if you are not on contract - try Three. We pay £20 for two phones and have tons of data and minutes and unlimited texts.

Get rid of one car. The merit of selling the car is that you then don't need to pay the costs of running two cars. Running cars is expensive. Benefit income often does not support the running of one car, let alone two.

Can you not up your hours at work significantly OP? Instead of trying to find your partner a job in this market?

Debts cost about another £600 contact all the lenders and she what you can get restructured. Can you move into interest free credit cards etc
Cars tax and insurance X2 £80 - do you need two cars if DH isn't working?
Fuel - £100 - cut down as much as possible by walking wherever you can

That's about £350 a month o others. Are kids in nappies / formula? Where do you shop?

If there's only you working you should get tax credits, plus the usual CB. Have you claimed for them all? Unsure how it works with UC.

You say you need to find him a job but really if his MH is that bad do you need to find a new full time job and leave him working part time / having the kids?

He needs to find himself a job really.
Why is there no scope for you to work full time? That would have the biggest immediate impact.
2 cars seems excessive with only 1 person working, how far away is school? Our household income is significantly higher than yours and we only run one car due to the cost!
Do a benefits calculator, then you’ll have more idea what you’re working with going forward.

Can you release some money from your 100k equity to tie you over for a few months?