I literally can’t afford to live anymore.......

[Beaniebeemer]

Things have just gone to shit over the last year. My DP tried his hand at being self employed after being made redundant a year ago but he’s been ill recently (mental health, sectioned) and the business wasn’t viable so he’s unemployed now. I work part time earning about £800 a month. We have two children. A mortgage and a lot of debt. The house has about £100k equity but it’s tiny and we can’t downsize. I really don’t want to lose the house as the mortgage is cheap and rent would be so much more. We are in the universal credit system but I'm unsure what money we will get going forward. DP is getting ESA and he’s applied for PIP but I believe that takes ages. We probably need £2000 a month to survive 😢

No pets

He can look for his own job but I’m better at writing up applications.

We have cut everything. School is too far away to walk and I don’t work standard hours.

Step change just told me to sell the house!

Get rid of a car if you can.

Stepchange or citizens advice websites have lots of help and information. They will help you prioritise your outgoings and debt to make things easier. Have a look. It's all free to use.

@MarieFromStTropez

£100k equity? Jeez, how the other half live 🙄. There are people SO much worse off than you.

If things are that tight, then maybe consider selling up and moving into rented accommodation.

There is simply no need for this. There is always someone worse off than you. This doesn't mean it's easy or someone isn't struggling

You have too much equity for a formal debt solution like a debt relief order or IVA.

However do call all your creditors and say you are seeking free debt advice and do contact step change. Your creditors should give you at least 30 days to get debt advice. If you are impacted by covid mention that as they have to apply a different kind of hold

You will need a two pronged attack, first minimise expenditure and then maximise income.

2 cars on one part wage isn't sustainable, one will have to go (maybe both depending on distance to work/school and public transport).

The phone prices seem very high, I pay half of yours and get unlimited calls/texts and 36gb data.

I would contact the companies you owe money (either directly or via a debt advisory service) and work out manageable payments.

Meal plan, budget for all expenses and prioritise the non negotiable bills (such as council tax).

You should also look for a full time job. Your DH... well that depends, is he is not well enough then he cannot, however if he is well enough he should look too. However you cannot get the job for him, he has to be well enough to look himself.

Once you are back in your feet I would pay down the debt as quickly as possible. £600 a month on debt repayments (that don't include a mortgage or car payments) is really high, even in 3k/month.

What about debts? I would look to see if you can lower the payments for a while they don't usually mind if you explain your suffering hardship.

www.fca.org.uk/consumers/coronavirus-information-personal-loans-credit-cards-overdrafts

your sim only mobiles are expensive. You can get sim only for about £7 a month for unlimited calls, 5gb data, unlimited texts etc. Sounds unnecessarily high to me.

Step Change for debts. I’m in the process of a DMP with them atm too, so solidarity.

Keep the phones and insurance- you need them for myriad practical reasons, not least phone for job seeking! Ignore that bollocks.

Join the Universal Credit Essentials Facebook group and use their calculation to work out entitlement. Don’t use the checkers- they’re often very very off.

Best of luck OP. It’ll be right in the end

"I’m desperately trying to find DP a full time job as I believe that’s the solution."

Perhaps he should try looking for a job himself? That isn't your responsibility. Plenty of factories looking for staff, delivery drivers etc.

Speak to citizens advice about your debt as they may help you with a debt management plan and can do all sorts of clever things to get companies off your back and help make your repaymo manageable.

Also definitely a benefits calculator, or benefits advice if citizens advice do that too.

Good luck

Looking at your list - I may repeat what others have said as I've only read page one:

Mortgage is £500 - as you've said, see if you can extend term
Debts cost about another £600 - can you reschedule these so you pay less over a longer period
Council tax £172
Gas electricity £85
Water £30
Tv licence / sky - £54 I can’t cancel sky I’m in contract I’ve tried 😢
Life / house insurance - £46
Cars tax and insurance X2 £80 do you need two cars?
Fuel - £100 can you do more journeys on foot/bike?
Sim only mobiles x 2 £20 each so £40 change to giffgaff and you can pay £15 for two.

See if you can get a long term loan to cover the debts. It's surprising who your high street bank will lend to. You can get a quite online.

How much is the debt? How long will it take to pay it off at £600 a month?

If it’s a smallish debt and will be paid off soon, I’d do anything to keep the house. If it’s large and long term, I’d seriously consider selling the house, settling your debts and starting again.

I know this seems extreme, but if you went into debt when earning £3k a month between you, I can’t see you being able to survive on much less in the long run.

Also, is your partner able to work FT, or should you both aim for PT, sharing the childcare and car.

The worthless car doesn’t mean anything. It’s running cars that’s expensive, so I would consider getting rid of one. We only run one as they’re so expensive.

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@MarieFromStTropez

£100k equity? Jeez, how the other half live 🙄. There are people SO much worse off than you.

If things are that tight, then maybe consider selling up and moving into rented accommodation.

It's so short sighted to sell.

Short term the rent will be more than the mortgage and they'll get no help because they'll have savings. So they'll just eat away at their savings and put them into insecure housing.

Ideally you need to remortgage to get some of that equity for the short term. I appreciate that is not possible on one job.

No idea if this will work but could you remortgage the house as a BTL (leaving minimum of 25% LTV) and take the rest of the equity and then use the rent from the BTL to offset rent somewhere else temporarily until your DP gets another job?

Just an idea. No idea if that is possible but if it was then it would mean you can keep the house and get some equity

It sounds really difficult to juggle everything. How old are your children?

Have a nosey on the Money saving expert site (Martyn Lewis?). There is a really good forum on there that is all about debt/budgeting etc. Keep the house if you can. Even if that means asking your other creditors to consider reduced payments for a few months whilst you get things back on track.

Re: your DH. It must be really hard that he's been so ill with his MH. Hard for you all. Has he recovered now? Is he fit/stable enough to look after the children/the home, so you can up your hours at work?

Can you work full time or look for another job? You don’t seem to have answered this.

If school is too far away to walk, do you qualify for free school transport?

Your debts are really high. Try another debt charity like Christians Against Poverty or the moneysavingexpert site.

Those SIM only's are really high, too. My son has a GifGaf with unlimited calls and texts for only £6 a month. My DD has a much broader one with GifGaf for only £25/month (she works part-time as she is nearly 18 and pays half this).

Someone needs to work FT, even if two PT jobs for one person or two of you working PT. Your UC amount might go up. PIP, it may happen, it may not. We get higher rate but my son is quite impaired and still a minor on DLA.

I agree the first thing it to try and restructure your debt which is costing you more that the mortgage . Also approach your lender about extending the term of the mortgage to lower your payments . You can hopefully increase them again later. Some other good advice on here and remember every little saving adds up .

I agree at this stage selling up does not make sense . Make a list and approach each section methodically .

Please don't bank on PIP because your husband has been sectioned..... Very rare someone on s2 will get PIP sec 3 may give him more of a chance but it will depend on his condition and diagnosis..... I work in this field and often see how disappointed people are when they get refused or most likely get lowest rate

Reading back my reply sounds a bit preachy/unsympathetic.... to at wasn't my intention! I just wanted to give some constructive advice.

I hope things improve soon, this is such a shit time.