I literally can’t afford to live anymore.......

[Beaniebeemer]

Things have just gone to shit over the last year. My DP tried his hand at being self employed after being made redundant a year ago but he’s been ill recently (mental health, sectioned) and the business wasn’t viable so he’s unemployed now. I work part time earning about £800 a month. We have two children. A mortgage and a lot of debt. The house has about £100k equity but it’s tiny and we can’t downsize. I really don’t want to lose the house as the mortgage is cheap and rent would be so much more. We are in the universal credit system but I'm unsure what money we will get going forward. DP is getting ESA and he’s applied for PIP but I believe that takes ages. We probably need £2000 a month to survive 😢

If he is awarded PIP your income should be around 2k a month with UC premiums and council tax benefit too. If he’s been sectioned he maybe shouldn’t be pushing for full time work.

Also surely Sky should help in the circumstances , but I do know they are really bad when people need help . £54 per month is a lot of money. Hopefully someone can tell you how to approach them to get this cancelled .

Are you getting your single working person allowance on your council tax? If there's only one person working you get a 25% discount.

Check with your utilities provider and see if you are in credit with them - you could cancel direct debits for a little while if you're in credit. Have a look at their estimates vs your actual meter readings.

Make sure you're on the most competitive rates for everything, do an overhaul. Insurances, mobile phone, utilities, the lot. Use comparison sites and then get cashback via quidco or similar when you change, it's literally free money.

Is there any way you can consolidate some debt? If you have it dotted about, your repayments will almost certainly be more than if you could lump it all together.

You need to up your hours and if that’s not possible look for another job for you which is full time. If your DH has been sectioned recently it might not be that easy for him to work full time? Or is he ok now? But I would look for work for both of you, you need more income full stop. I know it’s only a stop gap but can you sell anything? Kids toys and clothes, furniture, speakers etc and even books if you set yourself up as a seller on amazon.

2 cars?? They might not be good cars but the tax, insurance, mot and the running costs add up!! I also got rid of paid tv...bbc/ sky. Comcast with whatever you choose (Netflix/nowtv/ Disney+) is good. Another one is stocking up on base meals.. so plenty of mince, chicken, veg (frozen is okay!) Pasta, rice...buy a big bag of potatoes . Its hard..but worth itx

@Polly2020 if someone is ill enough to have been on any section it shouldn’t be too difficult to satisfy PIP even if it is standard rate. Do you not help them appeal?

I know this is only a temporary measure but is there anything you own you could sell to free up money. You'd be surprised what people will buy! It really is such a crap time, as a person who's dealt with both financial problems and mh problems I really do empathise with your situation.

I don't think selling up and moving into rented is a good idea. That would mean you have a huge amount of capital so would lose benefits. I think I'd approach your mortgage company and try to get a deferred payment scheme. A year would be ideal. Your debt is quite considerable at £500 a month. You will be entitled to some universal credit if your take home pay is £800 a month. And get rid of one car. I see you are already on a payment holiday . Hopefully that can be extended. Why can't you get a full time job for a while if your DH has mental health problems. And then he can look for a part-time job until he is better.

Whatever you do OP DO NOT ever think about selling the house ! I was in your situation 10 years ago and made that mistake. Renting was helpful short term as benefits contribute - but once I was back on my feet I have been stuck in the private rental nightmare ever since. I now earn good money but a £1000 goes on rent.. and I will never ever own my own home again. (I am 55 so no chance of a mortgage) that means when I retire I will just have to spend my savings on rent.. paying someone else's mortgage twice over with nothing to show for it. . Hang on to your house at almost all costs.

What you do need to do is this.
Go on line and get on the turn2us benefit calculator. Work out what your entitled to in UC.
Apply to the council for council tax reduction.
Call step change and reschedule your debts.

And breathe.

(Increase your hours rather than force someone who's been sectioned into work - much more stable in the long term.) you don't want him in a job that's going to stop and start due to his health)

@MarieFromStTropez for gods sake. Have a brain. £100k in equity could mean thats two or three inheritances gone into the home. And of course, op can just sell the house tomorrow and live in a cardboard box eh?
If you feel the op is moaning because she is rich and having tighten her belt, maybe you could offer some tips 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s easy for others to tell OP to get a full time job but she would have to find one, she has a job which is the only income at the moment, I’m guessing she needs to care for her dc? If her dp is still mentally unwell then she will be caring for him too?

If OP and her DP did decide to sell the house it would release some money but it would get eaten up by renting somewhere else, they wouldn’t be entitled to help with the rent due to having £100,000 sat in the bank from selling.

OP, hopefully your DP will be entitled to PIP, this could help a lot then eventually maybe he could get a job and you can find a full time job?

I know it’s frustrating that renting is more than paying a mortgage but with renting you don’t have to worry about doing anything major to the property (think boiler, roof etc...). Many people have no choice but to rent, I rent and am well aware that a mortgage would be a lot less but their are benefits to renting.

@LBOCS2 what is single working persons discount?

If you can’t extend hours/get another job can you work at weekends or evenings? Care work, late shifts at supermarkets, delivery driver etc. Maybe DH would feel up to doing something like that as well? What are your skills?

He needs to look for a job himself. Can you up your hours at work?

See if they can freeze the debt or drop to a lower monthly payment, I had it done years ago for me when I explained I couldn't afford it. They suspended the credit for use and dropped to a much lower payment and no interest. Might be worth an ask.

If your debt is unsecured and not for something like council tax, stop paying it now.
Get yourself onto a debt repayment plan. You can do something like Step Change or run it yourself. Visit the debt free wannabe board on MSE for more info.

@Lockandtees

Do you need 2x cars if only one of you works? Do you even need one car?

Do you both need a mobile phone?

Life insurance is a bit of a luxury that most people don’t have.

2 kids in school and her DH was sectioned- yes they both need mobile phones. Two cars- OP had already said that getting kids to school and her to work would be really tough otherwise. But Life Insurance being a luxury most people don’t have?! That’s terrible advice. 2 kids and a mortgage- they need life insurance. Jeez. OP as a rough estimate I would say £234 a week in benefits including your husband’s esa, child benefit and UC. Together with your £800 per month you will have £1814 a month. Get reductions in your debt payments and you’ll be fine. As PP said, go to Money Saving Expert forums for debt advice. Entitledto.com for an accurate benefits calculation. Good luck!

I don't think anyone thinks it's easy @Lovemusic33 but she's part time on irregular shifts so it's likely he's doing the caring. He isn't necessarily well enough to work on top. If he can handle the childcare then it makes sense she works more not him

[quote faerveren]@LBOCS2 what is single working persons discount?[/quote]

Oh bugger, I was mistaken. It's not if there's only one working adult, it's if there's only one adult. My mistake, ignore me.

Are you getting your single working person allowance on your council tax? If there's only one person working you get a 25% discount.

25% discount is for single adult households with some exemptions for certain categories of people, of which non-working is not one.
There are reductions for low income but not a blanket 25% discount.

Cross-posted.

Have you applied for universal credit? And child benefit. You should get both

Delivery driver jobs? They might be lower pressure than some roles? (I'm speculating there, I really don't know how stressful they might be)

I have known patients with life long disorders such as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia which it massively impacts on thier functioning and PIP have refused yes we help with appeal process but sadly mental health conditions are treated differently to physical health conditions

I’ve only read the first page so sorry if it’s been asked but does the life insurance not cover redundancy?
Also the universal credit should top you up to more than 2k as well as council tax benefit. Plus you’ll have other income like child benefit.

Is there any reason why you can't look for FT work for yourself rather than your DH. If he was ill enough to be sectioned, would you not be the more reliable earner right now?