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Managing Money Mindfully in March with the Friendly Frugaleers

999 replies

Happierwithouthim · 09/03/2020 16:46

Last Thread

All welcome on this thread, we're a friendly bunch who like to get bang for our buck, and manage our money as well as we can.

Pet pics very welcome too Grin

OP posts:
Thread gallery
48
Mrsmadevans · 27/03/2020 20:07

Bob's Dd
Hi
Sure your aware that father has taken your mum to his place during corona virus. Not sure what is going on as he had been avoiding me for weeks. Telling me he had been going shopping . Now says you have been getting his shopping.
He is fully aware he has to stay at home during these difficult times.
Wondering who is looking after your mum whilst she is up here. As a friend he is unable to help with her personal hygiene. ?? How is she getting up stairs safely.
Would appreciate if you could let me know what is going on as father is talking total rubbish. Saying terrible things about mother, which are untrue. He did this after coming out of hospital. Accusing her of having affairs with the neighbours.
Me
Yes l do know she's gone to stay at your Mum and Dad's. I did tell your Dad to sort it out with you before she came up and he told me you were surprised . It was your Dad's decision nothing to do with me .We were a bit apprehensive about it but they didn't want to be alone for months on end . My Mum's hygiene/medication needs are looked after by my Daughter and myself who are her official carers .We are permitted to travel to see to my Mum. We have P. P.E to wear when we go there. Mask gloves gel aprons so don't worry about her in that way . Mum is sleeping on the sofa pull out bed, if it doesn't work out we can take her home. I think when Boris Johnson said it was not advisable to go out they both knew they would be terribly lonely on their own. It was either your Dad come to stay at my Mum and Dad's or vice versa. Your Dad didn't want to stay at my parents so Mum had to go to your parents house if they were going to be together. I have been doing the shopping for your Dad for about 2/3 weeks. He paid me the first week and Mum has paid this week. There is nothing for you to worry about honestly. My Mum would not let your Dad speak badly of your Mum, my Mum liked your Mum very much. If you think about it, they can keep each other company. My Mum is still very sharp mentally. Your Dad is great physically. They will eat their food ,together watch telly together and sit on the patio in the good weather. This is a purely temporary measure. They will keep each other company and my Daughter is taking groceries for them both. It is far kinder for them to stay together than to be apart if you think about it. I hope this has put your mind at rest . Mum will be coming home asap. It is a temporary arrangement. Love

Bob's Dd
Not happy with the way he has been telling me lies. My daughter had taken meals down for him and he hasn't been there. But that I will sort with him. Have rung to see what shopping he needs and been told he has already been . He only told me yesterday when I rang that your mum is staying there.
I must be honest and say how irresponsible I feel his decision is. He is fully aware of restrictions and continues to do as he pleases.
These are all issues I will discuss with him.
Appalled at his behaviour.

Me
I don't know what has happened with you and your Dad. Mum nor l know of anything of this . I'm sorry if this has upset you . I really am. I don't know what to say to you tbh. I feel like telling Mum and getting her from there. My Mum is totally on the level . She has no axe to grind.

Bob's Dd
Don't question anything to do with your mum. This has all come about since the last time we went shopping. I told him he should be finding other interests, not just seeing your mum everyday. Explained to him, as I said to you about their age and if something happened to one of them they would be even worse. Think I have seen him once since. Have been trying to get blocks for fire down there and he has kept putting the kids off.
I do feel really angry and upset but not with you or your mum.
Don't upset your mum.
I will have this out with him when everything goes back to normality.

Me
I don't know why he doesn't want the grandchildren to come down. That is not like him. He talks about you and your children all the time, he is very proud of you all. I don't mind doing his shopping at all . I have to get ours so it's not a problem. I only go once a week now because of this virus. I won't say anything to my Mum. She would be upset and it isn't fair on her. This is just temporary. Mum will be home asap. Take care Love especially with your COPD , you can text me whenever you want to.

Then nothing till the next night when she sent me this .

How long has mum been staying with Dad??

No hello, no thank you ,nada.

I thought it so rude and l decided to tell Mum and Bob about it because I could see there was something going on.
God knows what!

Mrsmadevans · 27/03/2020 20:27

Em just catching up with the thread so glad your Ds is ok he's very gorgeous Smile Flowers Lovely of you buying coffee and cake Smile
Happier thank you for reading and replying . l thought the exact thing you said , espesh when my sister is trying to excuse her behaviour to me, as being shocked and worrying that she will never see her again.
Surely if my sil WAS upset and worried about never seeing my Mum again, then she would be only too happy to ring Bob's Hmm
Lane hope you are felling much better Flowers
Hope everyone is doing alright Smile Flowers
Sorry to be such a drone Hmm

Yogawoogie · 27/03/2020 20:38

@Girliefriendlikespuppies that’s what I’ve had to do with mine. It’s horrible but I know they’re safer.

Unescorted · 27/03/2020 21:36

Mrs D - it sounds as if she is concerned about her dad & him not saying anything. Not that your mum is there or that you and your DD are looking after them. She seems to be going out of her way to say it is not your mum staying there but that her dad didn't say anything to her.

I don't use pls or tnx on texts - especially when they are wordy like hers. Maybe give her a call and talk - it is easier to hear her intonation than when you are texting.

I think you and her are coming from the same place - you are wanting to make sure your parents are happy and that they won't come to harm.

Bornlazy · 27/03/2020 22:45

Mrs I totally understand your anxiety re CV we see so many cases in the media that are severe and it’s terrifying but I do believe that for the majority of people it is a “mild” illness. As for Bob’s daughter - she sounds angry but shouldn’t be taking it out on you - you are doing your best in difficult circumstances. Please don’t let it get to you.

It’s a difficult one Girlie and Yogawoogie if I thought it was only for a few weeks I would take myself away from my family but I think we are in this for the long haul 😨 and until they start testing people most people have no idea if they’ve had it or not.

Payday for me yesterday and dh today so bank balance looking healthy for now but there’s the new fear now of dh’s job not being completely safe 🙈 Still I know we are a lot luckier than some people and if the worst comes to the worst I will certainly be able to pick up extra shifts.

Mrsmadevans · 27/03/2020 23:17

Thank you Unescorted l really don't know what to think about it all Hmm
It is all so horrible Sad
Thank you Born you are very kind to read and to reply , the anxiety comes and goes but all this today has made me feel awful.
I am so sorry re your Dh job , l really hope you get some good news.
Stay safe everyone Star

Accidentalaccountant · 28/03/2020 06:01

Mrs D I also don't think her texts are that bad. Everyone is very stressed at the moment.
Yesterday Tesco 50. Today should be nsd again
Tesco was an experience one out one in.
Have a good day all.x

lifelongfrugaleer · 28/03/2020 08:44

Full refund wolf. Just need to get it off my cc next.

DH doesn't really have a fever but temp is about 37.5 this morning which is up. He aches all over including his skin apparently. No cough. Not sure if it's CV or flu.

In the nicest possible way I think your anxiety is blowing the texts to to be more than they are. I don't put salutations on text either.
The daughter is pissed but not with you or mam I think. It's between her and her dad but you are her vent out let.

Not sure if going out today. Don't know if we now fall into the 14 days

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 28/03/2020 08:59

Life that's how the bug I had started off... I'm still not sure if it was CV or not.

Mrs agree that Bobs dd is just annoyed with her dad and isn't upset with you or your mum. I think your anxiety is probably making everything feel worse than in it actually is iykwim. Have you tried mindfulness relaxation? There's guided meditations on YouTube which I use when my stress levels are high.

I've got a few jobs in the home and garden to do this weekend. Also going to explore a new dog walk (walking from home obviously) if nothing else we will have explored every inch of our local outdoor space by the end of this!!

Might order a new puzzle or craft kit for dd to do later.

Lovemaltesers · 28/03/2020 09:05

DD1 is complaining of a sore throat now, really think it’s just a cold. But home we all stay. My Dad is still going out for his newspaper each day as well as buying an “essential” item too. My mum describes it as their “cover” for going out Hmm

To be honest, staying at home will hopefully really help my DP. He had been so stressed and is responsible for so much for his organisation. It’ll force him to slow down and I’m worried about him being run down already when things hit here.

Today we need to remove all the clutter from the spare room to set it up as a usable space and to be able to get to the printer.

I often get cross with my mum through text and email conversations. Things written down can come across completely the wrong way or not as intended. It does read as the issue is with her dad mrs not you guys. She’s just expressing her frustration at the wrong person!

Lovemaltesers · 28/03/2020 09:07

I ordered a number of books yesterday, about £25 but not due to arrive for 2 weeks. DD1 has read three books in the last couple of days.

lifelongfrugaleer · 28/03/2020 09:28

I've no idea girlie. Thanks though for that. I think we assume yes and stay in for 7 or 14 days?

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 28/03/2020 10:37

Life my understanding is the person with symptoms isolates for 7 days (longer if still has symptoms) everyone else isolates for 14 days incase you have it.

Wolfcub · 28/03/2020 10:43

As I'm not going to get either insurance or flight payout for the tax year deadline I've moved £500 of my emergency savings into my isa. Nowt left in the emergency pot now but will top up with refunds

Lovemaltesers · 28/03/2020 11:55

Yep, that’s our understanding of it too girlie. In our household DD will be allowed out after 7 days are up if well, rest of us for up to 14 days unless we get unwell. It’s a shame DD is 8 years old and therefore can’t do the food shopping once her time is up 😂

LaneBoy · 28/03/2020 12:18

That’s my understanding too. What I’m confused about is how to know what is still symptoms and what is “just” post viral fatigue etc. My sore throat etc is basically gone but I am definitely Not Right. Not that it matters anyway as I wouldn’t be going anywhere!

Need to edit my Tesco order for next week - had the text about 80 item limit which we are over. It seems to imply that I can leave it as it is, but will be subject to the limit if I edit it at all. But I do have stuff to delete on there and want to check availability etc.

They’ll probably cancel it at some point anyway.

Wolfcub · 28/03/2020 12:41

Lane I'm worried my ocado order for Monday will be cancelled. I made it 2.5 weeks ago (after staying up late to get on the sodding website). There seem to be a lot of posts on mn saying things have been cancelled and that regular slots are also being cancelled. It's freaking me out a bit.

lifelongfrugaleer · 28/03/2020 15:44

£6 on bread and lunchables. Nothing else on my list available. Will have to brave a big supermarket next week.

Cleaned the bathroom, all switches, handles kitchen cupboard and tiles. Hoover up done.
Just signed up for the Disney+ trail. Might give the DC an Easter egg early and have movie night.
Rock and roll in the life house today

northender · 28/03/2020 17:44

Life yup, the isolation is 7 days for the person with symptoms, 14 for the rest. 37.5 isn't a trigger for precautions on it's own, it is 37.8+ and/or persistent cough. Dh is much better but still can't taste properly and is tired very easily.
So today I've repotted our cacti, found some out of date seeds in the garage and sown them in pots: basil, rocket and courgette
Made a banana loaf & fruity tea bread last night for sweet treats.
Sent dh shopping with a comprehensive list this morning. He did okay but did come back with the only 3 lemons he could find which looked as if they had just been picked and cost £3!! I did say a bottle of lemon juice would have done.
I have sorted out a weekly fruit and veg delivery for my parents and a fortnightly meat delivery from the butchers so I feel happier now that that is booked in regularly for them.

Taytocrisps · 28/03/2020 18:00

Very spendy day.

Centra €5.53

Cat vaccination €45

Lidl €12

Supervalu €71.79

Pet shop (2 bags of cat litter) €24

Butchers €5.87

Total spends €164.19

The cat litter was a total rip off but I couldn't get it anywhere else. €12 per bag! The bags are normally a few € in Lidl.

I had to queue to get into Lidl.

There was no queue in Supervalu but I was chatting to the supermarket manager and he told me there were queues all day. Luckily I got there late in the afternoon.

I had a quick look on the Tesco website but there are no delivery slots available for three weeks. Their calendar doesn't go any further than that.

Wolfcub · 28/03/2020 18:45

We are having pizza for tea. My brexit stash included frozen pizza dough and mozzarella- winner. All of our local takeaways have now closed.

Looking forward to catching up for drinks later in the video pub.

My dog-brother (the absolute love of my life I hasten to add) is unwell. Has been for a couple of weeks now and he was rushed to the vets again today (third time). I know it's a small thing given what else is going on. It in absolutely devestated to think that he might die without me seeing him again. I know this is happening to actual people and I need to get some perspective

Bornlazy · 28/03/2020 19:31

Just a word of caution as I was told by NHS24 that if you still have a high temp or don't feel well after 7 days then you need to continue isolation for longer. I have to do another 7 days Sad which is fine as I don't feel well but unfortunately I went out briefly after the 7 days as I felt ok only to relapse a few days later.

LaneBoy · 28/03/2020 19:44

I wonder what they define as not feeling well? I have no idea where it stops because I am most likely in an ME flare now.

Sorry you felt unwell again after a better few days - what symptoms cams back if you don’t mind me asking

Bornlazy · 28/03/2020 19:57

My cough had gone away after about 3 days and then on about the 9th day it came back. I never had a high temperature just felt hot and cold and miserable and I started to feel like that again when my cough came back. I know what you mean about a flare up as I feel like I could be left feeling not quite right for months Sad

Wolfcub · 29/03/2020 08:16

It's snowing! The weather has gone bonkers again