Had a Spendy Summer? Join the Friendly Frugaleers as we Segue Smoothly into a Sensible September

[LivingInLaputa]

All welcome. Couldn’t see another thread!

Camden wow I will not be telling DS about how much other areas f the country pay 😆

We’ve splurged on a curry tonight, really good.

Ok, Muddy Puddles, JoJo Maman Bebe and Decathlon for waterproofs for DD, will take a look tomorrow thanks all.

Em hope you are ok, ive struggled with anxiety all my life tbh I know its horrible. I wouldn't have wanted to leave DD at 4 weeks old, with anyone. The first time I left her she was about 8 weeks old and it was with DM for about an hour and a half because I had to go to the dentist and get an overdue filling. I knew she would absolutely be cared for perfectly but I still hated it and felt anxious. I know some people find leaving them with trusted loved ones easy from the get go, but other people don't and that's normal and fine, tour DH and DMIL should both understand that and be supportive. And engagement party friends too but I suspect they probably would be fine with it. If you have a child free event you surely know some people won't be able to attend

Spent like £9.50 in museum cafe today but was a nice trip out and I like to support the museum, see it as a donation really. Then a few quid in the Tesco on the way home. Oh and swimming this morning think that was like £7.50? Nice day today as a family which is good as DD was a rotter when I had her alone yesterday! She can say "mama" now to mean me which is cute. I know this is later than most babies so I'm glad she's got there now. I think she understands "daddy" but she doesn't say "dada" specifically yet so hopefully soon as DH will be made up when she does.

Paper round for little money and is hard work, well done to him, fab work ethic there, it will service him well!

I've only used Ocado when we get those introductory vouchers, I really like them but always find them way more expensive than Asda which is generally where we shop. What am I doing wrong to find it so much more expensive? Also found Ocado nappies to be shite lol.

I went to the party.

My friend came up to do my hair (£20). This is what she did.

We went to a friend’s husband and 30th bbq in the afternoon all 4 of us. Really nice time.

We were meant to be having a family photo shoot on the beach but it chucked it down with rain so the photographer rescheduled (this was the photo shoot I’d said mil could be in with the two kids but this pet won’t haopen now as she’ll have gone home by the time it comes around again).

We dropped littlies home and then went to friends party. Was more of a few people round their place for drinks and catch up than a party. So I felt more comfortable going.

Mil and her friend (an “auntie” of Dhs - old family friend) baby sat. I went with dh on the proviso that we’d be home by 10. Dh drove.
We had a nice time. Couple of glasses of wine and some food.

I talked and cried to dh yesterday morning again about how anxious and “broken” I’m feeling. Whether he gets it or not I’ve told him. I told him I had briefly thought about leaving because I felt I wasn’t enough for everyone. Felt that I had no time for ds for dh or for Dd. And no time for me. I told him that last minute plans (ie people coming round etc) I can’t cope with at the moment. And feel like I’m just surviving. Am absolutely going to speak to my gp about this when I see her next week.

Dh has just woken me up. He was taking the night shift with dd but didn’t feel well (not alcohol related as he didn’t drink at either party). He’s just thrown up twice. My anxiety levels are now through the roof. Just about ready to run out the door (I obviously won’t!). Selfishly I’m thinkjng “what about me?! Who’s going to help me?” (And also is he ok...he’s gone back to sleep so fingers crossed).

The rational part of my mind says that I have people I can call for help if I need it, mil will be here at 830 (ish) to see us, and I don’t need to worry.

Also thank you all for your support. I’m slowly realising that it’s ok for me to say I’m not ok. I mean I knew this and make sure other people do it. But taking my own advice... ?!

Hey em - I think it's hard when you're a 'coper' the sort of person who generally just gets on with it, my family are very much of the 'pull yourself together' school of thought.

Talking about the way you're feeling right now is so important, maybe see your gp and ask about counselling, just to have someone to give strategies to help with the anxiety.

So are mine camden they don’t understand anxiety or mental health stuff. My dads best 𝖫𝗂𝗇𝖾 when I’ve struggled with things is “oh come on” as if that’ll help. And making sure I know that my “nonsense” is dragging them all down.

Dh is a bit kinder but still doesn’t really get it.

He’s ok(ish) this morning. Mil arrived earlier. And I’m now back in bed. Dh thinks it’s something he ate/drank. He had three non alcoholic beers a can of coke and some pizza. So possibly the reaction to something.

Oh em, it's so important to keep talking about it, if you have a headache someone would give you paracetamol, we have to talk about mental health to normalise it, which is a shame. Keep talking . We are all here for you xx

It's totally ok to say you are not ok em.
Just get through today. You will make it and can do it.
Absolutely call for help. Leave DH to his bed and let mil take some of the load. Sounds like she is a better woman at the minute with you.
Other jobs will wait, write a list of it helps.

No expectations today. Everyone fed, no one dead is your aim today.

Yy speak to your GP. DD is still only very new as is all of this.

I remember this from when my two were very little. We got you em

Thank you for the lovely welcome!
Meal Planning is definitely needed.
Been a very hsw due to uniform and leaving presents.
Hoping from now on nothing needed except a few bits for holiday in October.
Off to read the thread now.

Sorry you are struggling Em and hope dh recovers quickly. Make the most of MIL being there. She wants to help so let her.

Have a list of jobs to do this morning. Have already got washing out and dh has cleaned the kitchen. Going to start on the rest after a coffee.

Em - it's a struggle, but you shouldn't have to fight the way you feel and pretend everything is fine, your parents sound a lot like mine (my whole family really) and when you're brought up that way you start to think it yourself. If you've never had any kind of depression or anxiety it's difficult to understand. They mean well but just don't get it.

You've been very brave talking about it and I think that's the hardest part, once you've opened up it does get easier.

Definitely let mil take the strain today, use her services whilst she's around and I hope you can get some rest. Life is so hard with two babies.

Big hugs to you em you sound totally overwhelmed. Definitely take it easy today, as much as that’s possible. And see your gp xx

Em good plan to go and see the doc.

Take it easy today, chill on the sofa with your babies and a million episodes of postman pat. Let mil help where she can. Hopefully dh just has a 24 hour bug or a mild case of food poisoning which will pass quickly.

Oh em I’ve said before my family are the same, there is an expectation that we must just get on with things. And I did do exactly that but I have a deep resentment that the people that love me most could only seem to cope with the strong version of me and not the weak one.
If I had my time again I would do it different I would ask for help and you know what my family would have came round once they realised this wasn’t just a “pull yourself together” moment. You have a small gap between you dc so you were only just getting back on track when you fell pregnant again and your hormones will have been all over the place. I’m sure your GP will be very sympathetic and understand completely what you’re going through

Might go to Ikea again today, so definitely not a nsd 🙈

Em you are doing great. Def good idea to speak to GP. And good that you are talking to DH about it and also to us here.

Just spent like £42 on waterproof all-in-ones for DD from Muddy Puddle, thanks to whoever it was that suggested them. I had a look at Decathlon but they didn't go down small enough in size for DD. Mad that when she gets a bit older, stuff like that will actually be cheaper even though they are bigger and more material . Think will keep the thin one just at nursery for her as they go out when it's raining so now she will be able to go out more with them and not be left behind stuck in doors as she loves going out.

Also spent £6 on the baby music class thing this morning that I took DD to. She was quite engaged this week, probably the best she's been so far even though we've been going most weeks for months so that's good. She is shy and it takes her ages to feel comfortable in new environments and around strangers etc.

We are going out for lunch to a new veggie cafe just down the road, with DM and DB and DSis. We are all just waiting for DD to wake up!

Also Em your hairdo is fab! Hope you enjoyed the 'party'.

Thanks guys!!!

I’ve just woken up again. Feel a bit better after some sleep! I think both my babies are sleeping too. Yay!

Front door just went so I think that was mil leaving. Tv is on so I’m guessing dh is watching something.

At the bbq yesterday we met ds play with the other kids (in the rain...!!) and Took it in turns to be with dd (either with her awake and being snuggled or asleep in the pram). Met some new people, forced myself to speak to new people which was so so hard. But nice. Two are not working at the moment - one is a sahm to a toddler (play date to be organised...!!) and the other cant work until her family have been here for a certain amount of time (a year I think she said) because her husband was brought over to work. They’re from SA and he’s a lawyer who works with my friends husband.
So we’re going to meet up too for coffee.

A lot of people were 😱 that Dd was only a month old and so so many compliments on how “amazing” I was looking. The SA lady also said I was a hero. For a) having two kids so small b) bringing them out c) managing to not look dishevelled and d) being so “together”. That almost made me cry didn’t want to spoil my make up!!

I'm officially having a bad week. I haven't had a working fridge for the past week (weirdly, the freezer is working fine). It's less than 2 years since we bought it but the guarantee is only for 1 year. I'm waiting for a call from a Zanussi repair guy. I can only buy perishable stuff as we need it, so I'm spending a fortune. I'm having to give DD money to buy lunches for school every day because I can't buy ham or turkey slices.

This morning I put on a washload. I went to hang it up and the washing machine was flashing an error message. The message means one of the following:- (1) drain hose is kinked or clogged or (2) the drain filter is clogged. I removed the drain filter and my utility room promptly flooded with foul smelling water. I rinsed it and shoved it back in. Fingers crossed the machine works this time. I have no idea what the drain hose is or where it's located. Meanwhile, my utility room is full of foul smelling towels.

AIBU to blame Ex for all of this?

£55 ds club fees
£47 diesel
£6.70 cold pills, deodorant and magnums

Well done Em
Meadow it’s lovely to have you back

I’ve just filled in the calendar for the month, not including school stuff and I am really not sure how I’m going to split myself in six to get everything done. Urgh.

Just checking in but really hectic wend here as my friend and her two kids have been staying. We had a lovely time but I'd forgotten how full on young kids are 😬 and have been shocked at how much food we've gone through!!

The puppy is totally knackered and will probably sleep the rest of today!

Dd has managed okay, I kept the kids out of her room and it helped that she had somewhere to escape to. Her period has come back after 10 days and is horribly heavy 😥 am assuming it's normal for periods to be a bit all over the place to start with??

Today I bought her some period knickers from cheeky wipes £24 for 3 pairs, she will need them for school for sure if she's going to be this heavy.

Also ordered some cat biscuits online, my fussy cat only likes one brand and we've been having a battle of wills to get her to try something else. She obviously won 🙄 £12

Ystd spent £20 in Boots on various bits.

Also £15 ish on lunch.

Quiet afternoon now putting my house back together again 😁

Tayto, that does sound tough, definitely blame ex!
Wolf, could you put it to ds to go to one of his friends when you have many places to be?

Tayto that sounds like a shit week! Could you make up the sandwiches and then freeze them and take one out each morning to be used?

Didn't go to Ikea went sofa shopping instead. Haven't bought one yet as the more you see the more confused you get. We kept seeing one that was perfect from a comfort point of view but not the right colour and vice versa.

I am having a frugal weekend despite being desperate to spend.

My DD has had an injury and normally I would indulge her/make life easy for myself. So lots of treats, lunch out etc. Yesterday I took her to a free cookery class in a new restaurant and then we ate what she'd made for lunch! So I just spent bus fare.

Today I have just spent £5.35 on a swim but that will be it.

Great news on the permanent position curvy

em. I have to admit when I got signed off with stress some years ago, we never told my parents and only a small amount to PIL as I knew their views would not help. But I didn’t see them as often as you do. My DP went through a stage of sickness/stomach crumps when things got very stressful for him, so do keep an eye on DH too.

I can’t remember who was talking about all the stuff that their partner had. But I lived with DP nice and clutter free for 1.5 years whilst we rented. Then we bought a house. And then his parents brought all of his stuff round from their loft.... I almost gave him back!!! And I imagine nearly all of it is now still sat in our loft. Who knew he wanted to keep all of his old toys since toddlerhood??!

Quiet weekend here, just preparing for the 8 weeks until half term. Turned over to 1st September and felt quite stressed looking at the various childcare arrangements until DD2 starts school in a week and a half’s time.

I made an order from cheekywipes too yesterday.

I’ve been reading a lot of Mr money moustache’s blog recently. It’s all about becoming financially independent/ retiring early. DP keeps saying he will have to work until retirement age (currently 68). I keep thinking no way. So need to start doing more to save.

Curvy unfortunately most of the things that involve me separating into six are for ds! I try to time things that I need to do when he either has an activity or is at school/with his dad.

love I might have a look at that blog. I’ve been reading moneysavingmom a lot but it can be a bit repetitive/bit religious (for me) at times

£9.50 new hot water bottle, much needed with dodgy joints and working from home as the weather cools