Aspiring to Affording April Amusements

[mammymammyIRL]

Any other suggestions?

Wreck do you want this boden code?

Are you sure life?! Yes please!

It is tayto says mammy from her bed

Wolf and wreck thanks, yes I suppose so. It's all just a bit complicated. I think I already filled in the questions on a form that the ASD guy gave me two weeks ago. I'm just not quite braced enough to go and get the answer. New GP thinks and talks faster than me. Makes it tricky to keep up.

Does anyone know anything about house sitting? Considering signing up to a website as we are free the whole summer holidays and can't afford to go away. Most places ask that you walk their dog (would LOVE a dog!) some nice places in Devon etc.

Morning all.

Should be nsd today. I need to go through the budget. Dh is adamant we don’t need to put more money in the joint account (we do - storage fees and nursery fees = an extra £1k a month...) and that we can just cut back.

I need to make my pension payment t today. Finally completed the forms. So have to get those scanned and sent in together with proof of address.

Our storage payment this month has bounced so I suspect we don’t have enough in our joint ac. So have to sort that out tomorrow.

Things will be so much easier once I go back to work. I know dh is annoyed that he’s having to put the extra in and I’m not financially contributing but this is the reality. I can’t. Roll on 21 May and payday!

Anyway. I am ranty today as didn’t sleep much. Two hours maybe. Sigh. Ds I think is teething again. He woke me up crying every hour last night. He was asleep. But was crying in his sleep. I ended up “sleeping” in with him.

Came back to our room at 7 and asked dh to go in with him so I could get some sleep. Woke up again at 9. Dh made a comment about me kicking him out...

Not financially contributing?! How about adding up how much the last few months would have cost in nursery fees if you hadn’t been at home looking after his son

Yesterday was pants. Totally unproductive. Gah. Although we did get the news that DD got a commended on her latest ballroom exam (jive) :) ⭐️ She also ended up with a private lesson yesterday as nobody else showed up! Win!

Not sure about the plan today. Sometimes we end up going into town on Sundays just to ease the boredom. DH is working as usual.

Em that would make me quite cross. I suggest only feeding him value beans for a month as your “cutting back” and see what he says then

Cag that’s fantastic well done dd

em sounds like dh is gearing up for a spat. 'Kicking him out' to care for his son is called parenting Ex used to use the word 'foisting' it made me very stabby.

We have a warm (but cloudy now I've hung out laundry) day, so garden calls. I'm going to move a lot of the random items littering the ground, and sort on area for my fruit cage. Might dig a trial pit to see how deep the top soil is. I want a sunken polytunnel, so need to test the ground before hiring a digger.

Given dp £5 for loo roll (forgot yesterday) as he has gone for a pedal.

Question: do your GP's mention the time, or kick you out at 5 mins? Ours never do. I was in there about 20 mins when I took my lumpy breast tissue for examination, she certainly didn't seem stressy about the time used up. But we know the gp will be running late, even for an 0830 appt!

School tomorrow here too. Ds is still sleeping, next week will be hellish. At least the uniform is all clean. I shall iron shirts (ugh, worst job ever) when I watch the grand prix later on.

My GP's are always running late but they never rush. They also only give you an appointment once they've spoken to you on the phone so they know what it's about already. Where I used to work some doctors would always run late and some would generally be on time. People weren't allowed to just book double appointments though.

"Foisting"
Bloody hell -steam would be coming out of my ears at that !
DH always did his fair share when they were little I will give him that !
FluffyI forgot to answer about gas/elec-much improved but still spendy over past couple of weeks as all DC back from uni .
Using overnight wash and a timer switch so dishwasher is on overnight.
Much baking going on as chooks are laying well and coming down hard on the meal planning now we are back to 3 not 5.
Plan to do some garden tidying and batch cooking today .
Urgh everyone is back tomorrow so lovely quiet walk/cycle to work will be heaving again but at least I can go to the supermarket and it wont be full of scootering children

Morning all.

My GP never mentions time but they do get arsey if you try to ask about more than one thing per appointment. Fair enough.

I am never that lucky with eBay Wreck - Boden stuff seems to cost me much more! Local fb groups are sometimes good though, I recently got a lovely frugi corduroy pinafore for DD next winter for £3 and in mint condition. Ker-ching.

I think house sitting is a great idea. A friend of mine also does house swaps, they are in Hackney so it works well for people wanting to come to london. I am not sure I’m brave enough to have strangers in my house though....

It’s cloudy but dry here so I’m planning to get DH to cut the grass so I can treat the lawn tomorrow. Garden needs a lot of tidying, not sure how much we’ll get done today but a bit I hope. I also need to install our video doorbell and scrub down the front porch from where the door work was done last week. It will look much better then, although I still need to get some external paint to tidy up the edges.

I had a fantastic visit with dad yesterday, thanks so much to those who commented. He had a bit of a tremor from time to time but was really lucid and so we had a lovely chat, including him telling me some stories about his youth that I’d never heard before. I stayed for 2 hours, which is much more than i expected him to manage. I think I got lucky, I don’t expect to get that chance again but that’s why these extra few weeks are so important. Dad messaged me afterwards to say how much he’d enjoyed my visit and how much it meant to spend time with me. While I was there he also gave me one of his important personal effects. I was really moved. Cried a bit on the way home but not there so I did really well! Cried a bit more last night too so I went to bed early as I was shattered.

Not an NSD as I spent £69 on Amazon sending mum and dad a variety of power packs and charger gubbins for phones /tablets. I was thinking that they will be useful when dad is back in the hospital /hospice so he can keep his phone with him while it charges (and especially as he can’t get in and out of bed) and also so Mum is never stranded with no phone charge.

Ocado has also been, £80. And I bought myself a couple of lovely drapey bamboo tops, £50. I am fearing the warm weather and can’t think what fits as I was in maternity gear last summer.

Made £12 yesterday selling my Bumbo. Every little helps.

No one would want to come and stay in my hovel

I'm pleased you got some special time with your dad

I think he probably is. And in all fairness maybe I am too.

He is tired. I get that. I get that he has to go to work on sometimes minimal sleep if ds is awake at night. Or if his shoulder is playing him up (which it is a lot). And he hasn’t been exercising because of said shoulder (which always makes him shitty) and works tough at present. But. Get over yourself. I’m running on empty. I’m exhausted. I too would like to go to the gym (I cidently that was my plan this morning). But I can’t.

He’s a bit shirty that I haven’t paid the deposit for christening reception and therefore haven’t sent invites out. Want to get it locked down before I do said invites. He’s annoyed that next week I’m getting my hair done (more expense...) and nails and facial. But I need to do it. For me.

I have told him to get out today. I’ve showered and am dressed have just had breakfast and am cleaning. Because dh doesn’t (once we move I’m getting a cleaner!) and am putting things away. He wants to spend time as a family (which is nice) but doesn’t want to clean or tidy up. I’ve told him to take ds to see fil. (Although this was met with “you hate my family you never want to do anything with them” - I’ve pointed out he can take ds to see fil alone and I can clean. Then we can do something. Or I can go with him sit for a couple of hours. Then come home and we can clean together. He’s gone to see fil alone)

I know I’m maybe a bit more ratty becaus a) absolutely exhausted b) I’m sick of not actually earning any money c) ds is going to nursery and no matter how easy it’s been leaving him I still have an overwhelming feeling of guilt in having to do it and d) period.

I know nursery is the right thing for ds. And I couldn’t be a sahm. I just couldn’t do it. I’m so grateful for this time I’ve had but I’m exhausted. And ready to get back to work.

I do feel his comment re money is unfair. I saved and saved so I wouldn’t have to ask him for money for me. I’ve spent the Maternity allowance on ds. And have spent my money on me. Until work stopped paying me (Dec 31) I still paid into our joint account. I have asked him what I’ve been frittering money away on, and how often I’ve asked him for money for frivolous things for me. Zero. Zero times. And have pointed out that me taking unpaid time has saved us about £3000 in nursery fees.

My GP never mentions the time but then I'm paying for the service. And I save up one or two things to ask about so I get value for money .

I think you can ask for a double appt in advance Sunny
Omg em so hear you on not being able to be a SAHM -no way !
It frightens me how many awful stories there are on here and my DH is a good un (mostly) if your DH is being an arse now while you are on mat leave he would be an even bigger one if you gave up work.
I would be having serious "words" about his attitude and just how much it would cost him if you divorce and everything is 50/50 including residency and CC, cooking,cleaning and washing😉
Talking of washing the man pile reached its peak height and collapsed onto the landing !
DH has "a plan" to sort it gradually over this week

@WreckTangled are these the brands you use by any chance, happy to send if so? The lancets are accu chek.

Em it really was an unfair comment. It sounds like he is struggling to adjust to being a dad. Which is understandable. But the comment is not on. It feels like mums can’t win TBH, guilt at putting them in childcare or guilt at not earning, and that’s a big thing to adjust to especially when you have your first baby! Even easy smiley happy babies are exhausting. 💐

Thanks cag but I don't use those ones

Okidoke thanks for speedy reply, I shall give them to pharmacy to dispose of then :) we dropped off a load of old meds (expired and unnecessary) the other day. One of the many many long overdue decluttering tasks! 😳

I felt it was super unfair. But decided to be the grown up this morning and haven’t done a thing to help him #mature.

I know he feels guilty for not spending as much time with ds. And I sympathise. I really do.

He also doesn’t help himself. He is unorganised. And messy. I’ve purposely not cleared down his side of the bed this morning. That would involve picking up a mountain of laundry (clean and dirty - so will all have to be rewashed) putting things away and hoovering. Nope.

I didn’t help him get ds ready to go out. Didn’t pack the bag. Did nothing. I could have done what I usually do and get Ds ready while he was showering. But instead we played peekaboo with catface and a Muslim cloth. Anything hidden behind a cloth is piss yourself funny at the moment.

He says people (mil) think I’m lazy. This is not new. He’s said it before. I have asked why and apparently when we lived with them before we bought this place mil never saw me pitch in with chores. I did. Just never made a song and dance about it. I just did as I do now - picked up after myself, cleaned shower/bathroom after I’d finished using it, washed up, did laundry, loaded/emptied dishwasher, kept our room tidy. Because a lot of it she never saw = my reputation for being lazy.

Anyway. I’m ranting. I’m annoyed yes. But am not going to let it get to me (hahahaha!)

The actual fuck em
Wooooah !
He is completely out of order here !
I would be super "lazy"
No meals,shopping,cooking or cleaning -nil,nada,nope !
Then negotiate 50/50 as a compromise
My DH has only said something like that once (after I had been up all night with DC)
I can still see the look of panic on his face and beads of sweat as he frantically back pedalled

I recently wrote a list of the "invisible"things I do .

Wreck have pm you

DH just made a lovely breakfast of rashers, eggs and mushrooms, with some avocado on the side so we can pretend it was kind of healthy.

em your DH is being very unreasonable but I guess you know that already. You've given DS the best possible start and now you're preparing to go back to work. If that's his attitude, imagine what he'd say if you wanted to give up work entirely and be a SAHM? I know that hair and nails and facials cost money but I think you're both high earners with savings so you can absorb these costs. It's not like you're leaving bills unpaid to do these things. And as Cag says, women can't win. If you stop doing these things (hair, nails, facials) people will say that you've let yourself go. If you spend money keeping up appearances, you're being frivolous. Over the course of a long career, a year out is a relatively short space of time.

I wonder if your DH is a bit apprehensive about you going back to work and how you'll all cope with the change? And I get that tiredness and pain can make anyone grumpy. But I still think it was a mean comment.

"He says people (mil) think I’m lazy. This is not new. He’s said it before." I'm not sure which of them is worse!