Aspiring to Affording April Amusements

[mammymammyIRL]

Any other suggestions?

So how many paddle boarding oppurtunities are there near you em??

£7 cat food.

em I was a sahm for nearly 6 years... at the time I had no other option I wasn't qualified and min wage work wouldn't have covered the childcare we needed. Then I saw a job advertised in local preschool which I got but I was working and studying. Me and dh had many rows as he wouldn't do the things that needed doing and I had no time or energy. Problem was I'm quite particular and he doesn't see dirt or mess. Kind of there now but I still do the majority as I can't leave it until he feels like it needs doing. I think in the 2 weeks Easter hols I've been off he has washed up 3 times, hoovered once, and done 2 loads of washing.. that's what I do at least every day. I now leave him a list everyday when I'm at work and don't nag just huff and bang around doing things if he hadn't done them

Today getting ready for work tomorrow. Girls have another inset day. Currently washing the summer dresses although I've misplaced all the age 6 ones so dd2 will have to wear the bigger ones! I got dds some nice summer clothes in Primark skirts for £2.50 and t-shirts for £1.30. Just need to get a sun suit for dd2. (She's not impressed with the Mario one from dd1)

Also got my certificates through yesterday officially level 3 qualified in childcare 😃 and started my contact lenses trial through Specsavers. Really good so far so will be an extra expense but considering I'm so fussy with glasses and my last pair were £££ inc thinning down and anti glare it may work out about the same!!

DH not doing his fair share is what prompted our almost divorce no
I became sick of the resentment /huffing and anger and snapped !
Laid it out fairly that he could do his share or we would divorce .The End.

quite yep. He went there.

He’s back now. I think he knew he upset me. He’s made chorizo sweet potato and chicken hot wraps for dinner and brought Diet Coke as a peace offering. And biscuits.

In his absence I wrote the invisible list of things I’ve done this week. I’ve also done a “quick and dirty back of a fag packet” budget from now. Including “my” spends/budget.

We will be paying out:

Mortgage (until it flips onto a variable rate and until we sell) £1300
Electric £77
Phones and broadband £60
Tv license £12
Nursery £968
Storage £156 (for the foreseeable future until we buy and move - but hopefully only another 3 months max)
Car insurance 20 something (we pay annually - £270)
Contents insurance (as above annual cost £98 ) £8
Food £300
Pet insurance £8.
Pet food and litter £20
Netflix £7.99
Amazon prime £7
Heritage membership £4.99
Building service charge £125
Petrol £35

It’s mostly rough figures. Some will drop once we move out of here - contents insurance, mortgage, service charge.

Some we can negotiate - food/groceries being one. I’ve included ds’ nappies formula and cleaning products on this (but why when I don’t clean......?!?! 😉)

We are lucky in that we are high earners. Unlucky that house prices here are astronomical (we have a 2 bed apartment no outside space).

My budget is £300 a month for personal spends. So clothes shoes hobbies etc. I spend £27 a week riding. So £135 pcm (assuming 5 Saturday’s a month), £38 nails, £16 waxing. Facials and hair are a 6 monthly thing for me. And clothes/toiletries are ad hoc. My gym is paid for annually £465

He has also apologised. Which is the big thing. He realises he’s been a twunt.

fluffy funny you should mention paddling. We’re going this afternoon. Calm sea. I’ve got my wettie out and we’re taking one board down to the beach. Taking it in turns to paddle then sit on the sand with ds.

The best apology is changed behaviour

I've started sorting out my wardrobe but now I want to give up. I can't though because my clothes are currently all on the floor 🙄

Hurrrah !!!
Get in quick with a 50/50 cleaning /chores/CC negotiation while he is vulnerable

Thing is, we have always done 50/50 so that won’t change. Just the amounts we put in once I go back to work. One more month for dh and that’s it.

I’ve laid down the law though. From this evening we need to be organised. It’s going to be tough to get all 3 of us ready and out the door in the morning for work/nursery. So we need to get everything ready the night before.

Tonight my plan is:

Clothes laid out (gym outfit for me)
Lunch (for dh) done
Ds’ bag prepped and outfit laid out
Teabags in cups
Kettle full
Alarms set.
Bags (gym/work) packed.

I never iron dh’s shirts. Those are to be done on a Sunday evening. So he doesn’t frig about every morning ironing.

The next two weeks won’t be so bad as I’ll be coming home/gym every day. But organised routine.

Is it ever possible to have too many black skinnies? 🤔

wreck at the last count I had 22 pairs of jeans. 8 of which black skinnies. So no.

I also have a pile of ones that don't fit at the moment 😭 I need to lose a stone to get back to my happy weight.

I've discovered that I can buy jeans in size 12, 14 or 16 and it makes very little difference. It's odd that. The tumble dryer shrinks everything to exactly the shape of my legs, and I have no idea how it knows what shape that is.

I agree with Fluffy, Em.

After a wardrobe sort out last weekend, I have 4 pairs of jeggings, 2 of chinos and 1 sort of harem style for summer.

I'm really cross with XH. He's refused to contribute to DS's upcoming school history trip to France. The final installment is due tomorrow, so I thought he would have given in by now and agreed to pay half. When I don't work, I have to get by on about £750 a month for everything. And I've still managed to save £375 for the trip out of that for the past 6 months. He earns at least £3000 a month gross and won't pay extra to help out his only child.

I'm sorry to hear that Creme. I don't think I had copped on to the fact that you were divorced. It sounds hard managing on that kind of money. xx

Thanks Sunny. We keep on keeping on, don't we?

creme

I remember Tip saying ages ago that schools have funds for kids whose parents can't pay for school trips i.e. The kids shouldn't be penalised because the parents can't afford it.

Have you spoken to the school?. You've managed half after all & wouldn't have booked it if your ex hadn't said he'd pay half.

I agree with fluffy. The school should be able to help.

Well done for keeping on Creme. You're an absolute trooper, and you saved my bacon by teaching me about pacing. I don't know where I'd be without you.

We’ve come home. It’s now pouring with rain.

Ds has a snotty streaming cold. Ick. So that’d explain last night. Poor baby. He’s napping on bed with me. He sounds super snuffly so have popped some snufflebabe stuff on him. Man that stuff takes me back!

Dh is cleaning kitchen and bathroom floors.

fluffy I absolutely agree with you on that one.

Fluffy, I got a lot of help in primary school (they paid half his residential trip and his guitar lessons in Year 6), but when I asked before in secondary fir a trip he went on in Year 8, they said they use all the extra money they get for pupil premium pupils to employ extra maths and English teachers, to keep those class sizes as small as they can. I couldn't really argue with that, as ultimately it benefits all pupils, although my understanding up to that time was that one was there especially for the benefit of pupil premium pupils.

DS received the letter about the trip after being off ill for a couple of days and was in a panic because others were already bringing in their deposits, so foolishly, I did pay the first installment without consulting XH. However, he paid half the cost of the previous school trip I mentioned and he's always paid towards Scout trips in the past, so that's why I assumed he would pay half again. He seems to think his child maintenance should pay for everything, but I pointed out it pays for routine costs, not extras such as trips, and why should our DS not have the same experiences and opportunities as other kids? No response to that!

DS, bless him, is going to pay £25 he's earned from doing some work while visiting his relatives this week, and I'll pay the final £100. But it really isn't fair!

Should be money was there to especially benefit pupil premium pupils, not one there*.

Hi all busy wend here, have only just ground to a halt.

Lovely day yesterday the sun finally came out 🌞 spends £20 at a garden centre, bought some ferns for a dark area of the garden plus other bits and a gift.
£12 in aldi on a top up shop.

Spent rest of the day in the garden.

We are now waiting for my new washing machine to arrive, can't come soon enough!!!

seacow I'm glad you had a nice day with your dad, I'm going to pm you later xx

Exactly, their using pp money to benefit all pupils but that's not really fair.

I think pp money is just for the pp pupils isn't it?