We're okay financially-I don't work but dh's income is fine. We have left ourselves fairly right after investing heavily in our house but still enough for food, basic clothes, children's activities like music lessons and sports.
There's not much left for little spends that we used to have like mags, meals out, clothes, books and I hadn't realised how much I spent for emotional reasons (bored, stressed, happy, you name it). Not vast sums but fairly frequent.
I've really struggled with cutting back and found ever more cunning ways to hide small spends from dh. But we've had a financial heart to heart today and I know it has to stop-we took out a loan to cover the last of the things we bought for the house and he hasn't paid off a card we agreed to and, as I suspected its because I overspend and he's worried to pay off the credit card til things are more sensible.
Anyway, I've given him my card (debit) and going to really, truly go cold turkey on this. We could go under for the sake of crap that I don't even want.
Anyone else? I feel really stupid but hope that now I've told dh I'll be more likely to succeed. And going to avoid shops like the plague. Just hoping I can put something in its place. It's like an addiction.
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Emotional spending-just told dh and I'm going to crack it.
BigBirthdayGloom · 22/07/2014 00:00
I've paid a couple bills today, but that's it really. I am just ticking the days/hours until school is back in session at this point. My stress level will drop dramatically (only to have it skyrocket once stbx drops the bombshell that he's working on, but thinks I know nothing about). sigh. So I'll have maybe an hour or two of less stress. 
That all sounds positive, spending wise, Cirrus and Alice. Sorry you've got the stuff with stbx hanging over you, Alice 
. No spending today and all three dc went to a swimming party for the ds of one of our friends so that feels like a freebie swim given that we give him a birthday gift anyway. That sounds wrong somehow-obviously lovely to see our friends too. Dc got on better today. It was great that some of our neighbours got home from holiday and they all got to play together. So, all in all, a very much better day today.
Okay, I've put petrol in the car and withdrawn the cash I need for the next week. Basically skint in the bank now, as I have just enough in there to cover the bills coming in this week. But this way I won't touch it, as I know it would interfere with the bills.
I splurged one small treat for the dcs. A bag of chocolate buttons for £1.50 at the petrol station. We came home and promptly divided the whole bag up into ten small containers. They can have them whenever they choose as a treat, but no more than one container per day. There are six chocolate buttons in each container. We've done this before, so they are happy with it. And a £1.50 bag of chocolate buttons will last a week, as there are 2 dcs, so 5 containers each for the week. Last time we did this it lasted almost two weeks, as they tend to forget the chocolate is in the fridge after a few days. 
Interesting to note concernedinlaw that you have posted twice. Once asking for support, and then this post ripping apart others who are being supportive of each other. Not very nice way to begin on a site, is it?
BBG That's a good change - from buy to do.
I'm slowly decluttering, so obviously the last thing I need is more "things" in the house. I just have to remind myself occasionally.
I choose to ignore the post that was unhelpful at this point. It's just someone trying to make themselves feel better by ripping apart someone else. They're struggling with fertility issues, it seems, so appear to need to tear into someone. Not charming, but there you go.
Anyway...
I have a sideboard that I am going to get rid of. I bought it secondhand about 8 years ago, but I've noticed it's more of a junk magnet than anything else. And I've emptied it and either thrown, given away, or found a better place to store the items that were in it. A friend was trying to convince me to keep it, as it's wood and in good shape, but I can't honestly think of anywhere else in the house it would go, and I don't actually NEED it. So I'll be ringing the charity shop to see if they'd like to come pick that up, as well as the coffee table that we no longer use.
Hobbycraft is having a sale, which normally I would love to go look at. Thankfully the dcs are not back in school, so the thought of dragging 2 dcs around looking at things turns me right off going! I need to replace my sewing machine before I even consider buying any fabric anyway. And I'm currently trying to put aside money for that and a new vacuum first (my old one finally keeled over).
I'm currently changing gears from "spending" to "investing in the house" now. I have a number of things that need replacing, and a number of jobs in the house that need to be done. Some will require professionals, so my money will be tied up doing that. I don't mind spending the money when it's going to make house improvements. That's a win-win thing. Unnecessary stuff isn't. So I think I just need to sit down, look at what I NEED to get done, and what I WANT to get done, and go from there. Prioritise.
I think we are quite a long way off from collecting old newspapers, concerned! Though if that does ever happen you'll be the first to know 
. One of the reasons I joined this thread was that the people on it were doing well and making good progress. Over on S & B there was a thread on cutting back buying clothes and it didn't seem so successful in stopping people spending. I think part of the problem was that the thread was located in S & B thereby giving people who visited it the chance to see other threads there and get tempted. But maybe they are doing a lot better now. As I have banned myself from S & B I don't know!
BBG if you can remember your post on what you've stopped buying in the last 6 weeks do post it again. Your treat idea on what can you do sounds great. Unfortunately the poor state of my health means I can't always get out to do things (hence my online buying slide this summer) but keeping busy in other ways seems to be the best way for me. Well done on deciding to get rid of the sideboard and avoiding Hobbycraft sale Alice. Your household prioritising sounds v good and sensible.
I like this thread because I feel I can post the steps forward but not be ridiculed or belittled for the inevitable blips along the way. 
Sloth I would have done if I hadn't made a point of dividing them up. The dcs know exactly how many are in each container and how many containers they each have. So I cannot sneak any. Keeps me out of the chocolate.
Okay - things I have stopped spending on in the last six weeks:
Excessive food shopping
Non food items at the supermarket (apart from magazines-my "blip" item)
Cafe trips for me and dc
Coffees out
Gift shop purchases for dc on days out
Cafe food on days out-simple picnics instead
Chocolate bars at every opportunity
Craft items for future, non specific projects
Treats for dc because I'm stressed
Bags and tins 
I am well aware that I've effectively been in rehab from spending as dh has been around and I've not been on my own much. So I need to be super careful as the older dc go back to school. This sounds ridiculous, but the first "doing" treat I'm going to have once dd2 starts preschool is a nap!
I'm knitting. Can't knit and ebay very effectively. So once ds1 goes to bed, out comes the knitting.
Bill paid. Will pop over to put electric on meter after school run. And spend the day cleaning. Not going anywhere or spending anything. No need to, really. Very skint anyway after paying that bill. I've got about 2-3 weeks of skint this month... then a bit of breathing room towards the end of the month, but that's going straight into savings.
cirrus if I don't put it into savings, I will see it as "excess" and spend it. It's more because I DON'T have the discipline for it just to sit in the current account.
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