Emotional spending-just told dh and I'm going to crack it.

[BigBirthdayGloom]

We're okay financially-I don't work but dh's income is fine. We have left ourselves fairly right after investing heavily in our house but still enough for food, basic clothes, children's activities like music lessons and sports.
There's not much left for little spends that we used to have like mags, meals out, clothes, books and I hadn't realised how much I spent for emotional reasons (bored, stressed, happy, you name it). Not vast sums but fairly frequent.

I've really struggled with cutting back and found ever more cunning ways to hide small spends from dh. But we've had a financial heart to heart today and I know it has to stop-we took out a loan to cover the last of the things we bought for the house and he hasn't paid off a card we agreed to and, as I suspected its because I overspend and he's worried to pay off the credit card til things are more sensible.

Anyway, I've given him my card (debit) and going to really, truly go cold turkey on this. We could go under for the sake of crap that I don't even want.

Anyone else? I feel really stupid but hope that now I've told dh I'll be more likely to succeed. And going to avoid shops like the plague. Just hoping I can put something in its place. It's like an addiction.

Amazon and ebay are my downfalls. On mat leave and want to move to a bigger home, but spending ££ here and there on things for DS. Have started adding items to wishlist on amazon instead of just buying. If i still want it will get it for xmas.

Might delete amazon app from my phone...

I went cold turkey on buying magazines - as well as the cost, I was hoarding the damn things too and seriously after a while they are all the same!

I have now found my library (North Yorks) lets you "borrow" digital copies of lots of different ones. It's not the same as opening a new one and flicking through but I feel much better virtually flicking through and not reading all the articles because it's not cost me anything.

oh I'm guilty of emotional spending as well. Stress does me in, really. Loads of stress lately due to stbx. I need to find a better outlet I suppose. In the meantime, I may try to put whatever I was thinking of spending directly into savings and see it add up. (although it might be depressing to see how much I was wasting lol)

Chocteabag I have saved all the Christmas mags I bought over the last few years - I'm going to use them this year instead of buying any new. You're right - they don't really change much.

Food is my "stuff". I shouldn't buy anything this week as we're away from next week but that hasn't stopped me from spending £45 today. The thing is im on a diet!! I did refrain from 18 toilet rolls, I thought we might run out, we have 14 left.if it wasn't so serious in the financial implications it can bring I might laugh. Will do as others have go and tidy something to take the edge off. Good luck ladies.x

I've for a problem with buying food too. I think my pattern is small spends on either items that could be classed as essentials, like food, and stuff that dh won't notice, like magazines and craft materials. I knew I had a problem when I started buying ikea and craft shopping with cash and mags with the three times a week weekly shop. I never buy clothes but the money I've spent on magazines would top up my wardrobe beautifully. Aargh. But no spend day today and cracking on with the root of the prob. Passed on two bags of mags and recipients delighted.

Get well soon collie wobbles

I unexpectedly got paid today, we usually get paid on the last friday of the month - was totally broke so it's helped for now, mil gave the children £20 each on Sunday (she often does in the school holidays) I had to 'borrow' it so that we didn't get overdrawn and charged. Anyway today I paid them back by buying tickets to the Circus - they really wanted to go.

I've also purchased the £5 for £10 starbucks deal on groupon that I just couldn't resist and spent £7 on ingredients for baking tomorrow and six doughnuts. And this has been a good day!

I find I m now taking more notice of my 'I'll just check amazon' and 'I'll just pop to M&CO' thoughts.

I have had the most expensive month anyway - hit a car in a carpark and we paid for the repairs rather than going through insurance. Childcare. Chiropractic appointments. The bank account is now so low that I actually this week changed the euros we had left lying around from a holiday two years ago. That would be fine- but we had earmarked them for a trip in 2 weeks time so I am going to have to plead ignorance.

It is food shopping for me though- I buy fresh every day but we have a pantry filled with tins and a freezer filled with food.

Right- today I have a chiropractor appointment, but I am taking cash and not my card so I can't drive to the shops afterwards. Then a picnic tea planned..... I will raid the freezer NOT buy new food.

I'm the same s as well,m although so is hubs, then again when I know we have to save for something I'm very apt at beg stealing and borrowing from all places or selling stuff to achieve the aim, two months ago hubs and I had a major clear out and raised nigh on £500 to move house with removal vans, a food shop after etc, all from crap we had bought.

Will join you though, my down fall is my children it's the odd treat here and there like a ice cream or when I get paid I have a bit of a big spend cos it's pay day, then I live week to week on 34 child benefit!

Okay. No spend day today. I have no reason to spend any money whatsoever. Plenty of food, children off school. Not going anywhere, as the gas company will be here sometime today to fix the boiler.

I'm the same. When I was working we could, almost, afford it but now we definitely can't. I withdraw the housekeeping money every week and sort it into piles ie. school dinners, piano lessons, pocket money for the boys. I then put £10 for myself into a little box (bought in Hobbycraft) for my spends. If I sell something on gumtree or Facebook the money goes in my little box. Often I use it for a DVD for the boys or icecreams if we are out so not strictly for me but things to make my life easier.

I have stopped buying magazines completely but pick up the free ones in Tesco, Morrisons etc. I have stopped using e-bay. I just have to stop buying unnecessary food shopping and we will be much better off!

This week is "live out of the cupboard/freezer" week here. I'll still have to pick up a few things, like milk, bread, and fresh fruit for the dcs. But I shouldn't have to buy anything else for a couple weeks, if I use what I have. I just have to keep reminding myself of the money I would have spent. I think I'll just put that money straight into savings right away so it's not there to use. Then I HAVE to only buy the necessities.

I should only need more milk before Monday. So I will pop to the corner shop on Friday and pick up the milk. That way I'm not tempted to buy anything else in the supermarket. And win-win because then I'm walking to the shop instead of using the car, so save on petrol as well. I'm trying to cut down on car usage as well. I cannot believe how much petrol I go through in a week.

Would it make you feel better to return them? (not being snarky, honestly asking...)

I could have written your post OP. I desperately want to get out of the habit of emotional spending but I really don't know how to! I don't know why I do it. I'm trying to turn saving money into a challenge, but I still keep slipping up and buying things to cheer me up, or because I'm tired, or to treat myself :-S.

colliewobbles glad you're feeling better. I hate that "grrr I screwed up" feeling after spending money I shouldn't.

I spend out of boredom. And I really can't afford to! Thank you OP for posting, it's the boot up the arse I've needed for a while. I have enough books to last several months and far too much food.

We spent the morning baking, I wanted to do it so we could take some stuff with us on our picnic, we left home at about half ten and spent 4 hours out of the house, I thought I'd packed enough so I wouldn't need to buy anything, but it was so hot I had to buy drinks £2.50, I also purchased 3 postcards to send to family overseas, some bubbles for dd2 and some duck food, spent £9.50 in total, £7.50 on my debit card and £2 cash, but managed to resist the ice creams and the horse and carriage ride which would have cost another £13.

I've just got home and I'm totally unmotivated to do anything, kids are in the pool so it would be a good time to get some housework done. I really need to crack on - if only I could be bothered.

Evening all! Welcome jessiemummy sorelip and jinty. Glad head on the mend colliewobbles.

Maybe the socks were about trying out spending and seeing how it felt. And now you know it felt unsatisfying. I did simar today. We had a gorgeous day, mucking about in a stream with our dc and some friends. Totally free and wholesome. Then came back and did paddling pool then crafts (50p a child decorating boxes, but no spend today as had the materials). Friends didn't leave til four-perfect day. Then I took car to garage and went, blow it, I'm not hungry, I don't feel the need but it's now or never so I'll buy a pounds worth of chocolate. Ate too much, felt rubbish. Lesson learnt. And there was a magazine I wanted but refused.

Took three more bags to charity shop and now have a lovely collection of books for dc but not overwhelming.

Also, picnics are something I used to overbuy for and consequently a free park trip, by stealth became expensive. Today? We splashed out on some sausages and hula hoops but apart from that, they had an everyday packed lunch and were very happy.

I do feel different this time-as if I have enough fight to crack this. And I like this thread a lot . Have some picked from the garden so they were free, but very pretty nonetheless!

Just reading this thinking I'd done really well today - only spent £5 on bread, milk and fruit - then I remembered an online sale shopping spree. Lots of bargains but still spent over £200. Anything I don't love is going back.