To be furious at my husband for catching Covid?

[Bookishnerd]

To give context first - my DH has tested positive today, but he’s fine. We’re all boosted. He’s just got a bit of a cough and is tired.

He’s a good guy, but I am LIVID.

I think he caught it from going out on Friday night. Like most people, we’ve had a really rough year. My husband doesn’t have many friends and doesn’t go out very much. We’ve had it rough this year - we have a 20-month-old, no family nearby and my DH works shifts. My DS doesn’t sleep well and we’re all knackered.

I went out to a small gathering in someone’s house a few weeks ago, though I wasn’t drinking, there were four of us and we were distanced and well-ventilated. We all lateral flowed before we went. It was also pre Omicron.

My DH was due to go to his office party, but it was cancelled. A few people wanted to go out anyway, and he decided to go. I asked him not to. I was very measured, saying that I absolutely thought he should go out with his friends, but that I thought they should do it outdoors in a beer garden etc. I explained that I was worried about Omicron, especially so close to Christmas. We don’t have any childcare so I didn’t want to get wiped out over the festive period. Reader, he went anyway. And today he tested positive.

Of course he could’ve got it anywhere. He works outside the home, and omicron is everywhere right now. I could’ve brought it in too.

But. But. I bloody TOLD HIM SO.

And now I’m facing a Christmas with him in isolation and me doing all the childcare. Cooking Christmas dinner on my own, dealing with my DS’s shit sleep, and I’m working right up until Christmas Eve. I’m also scared of getting it myself. I’m overweight and am under investigation for some health things. I’m not clinically vulnerable, but I still don’t want to get it.

I don’t want to make my DH feel any worse, so of course I am just seething instead of saying anything. But he hasn’t even acknowledged that it might’ve been a poor decision.

Am I being unreasonable?

Just be glad it's out of the way - yes it's a shit time to get it but think of the antibodies

You're angry because you have the shitty end of the double ended shitty stick after a shitty year. Angry is reasonable - just remember it's the situation more than the person at fault this time and try to enjoy what you can in the next few days

I feel like a bit of a knob now tbh

Wow yes, so U.

If he’s fine and just has a bit of a cough why can’t he help out with Christmas jointly with you?

Yabu

But you’re not the only person at breaking point

Lots of people can not cope with much anymore, there is lots of rage, people are not in the best health mentally

So hang in there and be kind to yourself and your H and just try and make the best of things

I don't think you are unreasonable.

It was a risk he chose to take - that's why you're angry.

It's been a shit year and now you have this extra stress.

I think you’ve had a hard time on here OP. Yes, he could catch it anywhere, but given how transmissible omicron is, if you were worried, it would have been kind of him not to go.

To give you some hope, I caught covid, and am overweight, it wasn’t much fun and I was pretty unwell, but never anywhere close to needing any kind of medical attention.

Why are you doing everything? Let him do some stuff too.

@StruggleStreet Why on earth are you “furious”? It’s hardly his fault!

Also don’t feel bad about how you feel

We can’t help our emotions

Just how we act

It’s good to let it all out somewhere safe

Anyone who catches Covid feels guilty but we can't avoid it and it is what it is. Have a lovely pyjama day on Christmas with pizza and snacks. You probably have it already or gave it to him so chill. Christmas as a day is completely over-rated anyway.

Have people missed the op has already said she was being unreasonable?

No need to keep kicking.

YANBU

Yeah life is too short for this kind of anger at something like this. Poor guy is knackered also. Often doesn’t go out. And you know he may have got it elswhere. And likely did as it seems omicron stops being infectious or showing up positive after four days, which is one of the reasons the isolation period is now only seven with a negative test.

A rare OP listens to replies and hold there hands up .

Make the best of a bad job Many many people will be in the same position do something different Tbh DS is 20 month old won't know Id be tempted to move Christmas to new years day .

Postpone Christmas. You don’t have to do it on December 25. Pick a weekend in January.

You’re being very unreasonable. You don’t know where he picked it up. It could even be you that brought it into the home.

Am I missing something? Why can't he at least prep veg. Do some housework? Etc.

It’s everywhere, I don’t think you can pinpoint it to any one moment….we have had it coming at us from all angles and everyone in the family (apart from me) has been in recent contact with positive cases (sometimes multiple).

Ok so it seems like maybe I’m being unreasonable.

I feel like a bit of a knob now tbh

This is the op for anyone that hasn’t read the thread.

Splinter meet plank

@Bookishnerd

Ok, so it’s a universal opinion that I’m wrong. I’ll take that. But what’s wrong with me then? Why am I so angry? I’ve just had enough of this fucking year

Because we've all had enough. It's bloody shite. All of it. And it feels endless. And you've reached your limit.

I had a massive cry at some kids singing, then a massive tantrum that some idiot had pulled my outside Christmas lights and broke them. I'm not a crier, I don't like children singing, I don't throw strops and I'm not that fussed about Christmas lights, but it's been a year.

Give yourself permission to have a cry and then give your poor DP a hug and crack on. It'll be fine.

YABU. There's no reason he can't do stuff either, I'm a single parent and I still had to cook and care for DS while I had Covid! Unless he's ill enough to be bed bound he can do things.

I think you need to make some adjustments to how you're doing Christmas so it's not all on you. You shouldn't just power through it even though you're getting less support, you need to take that into account.

Who are you hosting for? How is that going to go ahead anyway?

Hi @PurpleDaisies. Thanks!

I’m so bloody tired. I’m so angry at the world and I want it all to stop. I’ve had enough.

And of course I was never going to say anything to him, and I’m glad I’ve checked in because I feel very contrite and embarrassed.

Please stop kicking me now MN!

TheMilkyWeigh

Rtft - the poor OP has admitted she's BU. Leave her alone, she's feeling like crap and it's so stressful at the moment for everyone worrying about catching it, passing it on etc.

Hope you're ok OP, no wonder you're at the end of your tether