To be furious at my husband for catching Covid?

[Bookishnerd]

To give context first - my DH has tested positive today, but he’s fine. We’re all boosted. He’s just got a bit of a cough and is tired.

He’s a good guy, but I am LIVID.

I think he caught it from going out on Friday night. Like most people, we’ve had a really rough year. My husband doesn’t have many friends and doesn’t go out very much. We’ve had it rough this year - we have a 20-month-old, no family nearby and my DH works shifts. My DS doesn’t sleep well and we’re all knackered.

I went out to a small gathering in someone’s house a few weeks ago, though I wasn’t drinking, there were four of us and we were distanced and well-ventilated. We all lateral flowed before we went. It was also pre Omicron.

My DH was due to go to his office party, but it was cancelled. A few people wanted to go out anyway, and he decided to go. I asked him not to. I was very measured, saying that I absolutely thought he should go out with his friends, but that I thought they should do it outdoors in a beer garden etc. I explained that I was worried about Omicron, especially so close to Christmas. We don’t have any childcare so I didn’t want to get wiped out over the festive period. Reader, he went anyway. And today he tested positive.

Of course he could’ve got it anywhere. He works outside the home, and omicron is everywhere right now. I could’ve brought it in too.

But. But. I bloody TOLD HIM SO.

And now I’m facing a Christmas with him in isolation and me doing all the childcare. Cooking Christmas dinner on my own, dealing with my DS’s shit sleep, and I’m working right up until Christmas Eve. I’m also scared of getting it myself. I’m overweight and am under investigation for some health things. I’m not clinically vulnerable, but I still don’t want to get it.

I don’t want to make my DH feel any worse, so of course I am just seething instead of saying anything. But he hasn’t even acknowledged that it might’ve been a poor decision.

Am I being unreasonable?

Also, I didn’t try to stop him from going. I asked him to move from an indoor venue to a beer garden.

No wonder you’re feeling fed up. A shitty end to a shitty year. I hope you get lots of rest and end up enjoying your little family in peace. And hopefully have a great big celebration next year.

@HermioneWeasley

I don’t understand why it leaves you doing everything? It’s very mild in most people - he can still cook and clean and look after your DS

This. Also ditch all the extra stuff of Christmas. Child is too small to know when Christmas day is and Christmas lunch is a massive faff if he is ill and just you and the baby. Just relax. Shut the world out..you have the perfect excuse. Watch stuff you want to. Entertain your child and sleep when they do. Your husband doesnt need to hide away from you. Just enjoy it for what it is. Christmas is December 25th and it will roll around whatever happens. You don't live in a TV advert. No one will see what you are wearing, doing, eating. Have a nice day when he us better and you haven't caught it /have also recovered from it.

Definitely. The good thing about having a toddler is they won't give a shit, so be kind to yourself.

Bookishnerd

For those who didn’t RTFT

A lot of people only half read your first post. I’d hide the thread if I were you.

@5128gap

Thats awful and I feel for you. But don't be angry with him for lawfully living his life and accidentally catching a virus. It really is bad luck, as I and many others have been to clubs gigs and parties and not caught it. Rage at fate, not at your H.

Ffs. He knew damn well the likelihood of catching covid going in busy bars and pubs. No one in their right mind has been doing shit like that in the last 2 weeks now, not if they actually care about the 25th going ahead as planned.

When you have something super important coming up, something where you can't risk being ill, you take all the precautions you can and that applies to before covid as well.

YANBU OP. He has behaved like a dick.

Lack of sleep is a killer. I would forgive you almost anything. Tell your DH you need a break and have 2 nights proper sleep. It does sound you need it very much. Take care

@LizzieSiddal I don’t know how and Google isn’t helping!

I got my Covid result last Christmas morning at 5am !! We just carried on and had a normal Christmas! I cooked lunch with my sons help and didn’t feel unwell until Boxing Day ….none of the family caught it . So my advice is to stop being angry and get your husband involved in helping you etc.

I honestly don’t think you can play the blame game in this.

Get some rest. Be kind to yourselves

Ridiculous to be seething over this. He could just have easily caught it in a supermarket.

@bg21 I’m sorry you felt the need to call me a dick. You are perfectly entitled to, but I think it’s unfair. I’ve admitted I was unreasonable.

I’ve had the worst year of my life. So I’m feeling hugely emotionally vulnerable.

Your post was rude and unnecessary but I hope it made you feel better

It's rotten for you, of course, but he could just as likely have caught it at work. You don't know.

Just hide the thread OP it's a pile on now unfortunately.

It's ok to feel sad about it. I feel the same. But I am silently seething to myself.

YABU

I think I’ve caught covid sadly , the same as my mum. Waiting for our pcrs to come back . We caught it from a pantomime on Friday. Very annoying as we wore masks. I just wish people didn’t go out when they had symptoms or been in a house with symptoms. Very very selfish.

Sorry just seen that it will affect Christmas day, can see why you are upset.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you or that you need mental health support for reacting disproportionately - I think your reaction is totally normal and human. You’ve had a shitty year, you’re exhausted and plans you were really looking forward to have been ruined because of something that might have been prevented.

YABU for using “Reader” in your OP!

My husband was pinged as a contact whilst I was pregnant and I fell out with him big time because it must’ve been from the gym which I didn’t think he should be going to! Looking back of course I was unreasonable but we’re all human and we’ve all had enough of the coronavirus stuff. If you’ve had a horrid year on top of it I don’t blame you for feeling this way! Sorry you are having a rubbish time. It will pass and I hope you have a better 2022. Also, ignore the posters who are saying mean things to you - you don’t need kicking while you’re down!!

I sympathise, OP. Whenever I see the ever-increasing numbers in my area I feel a twinge of annoyance.

For what? That they caught Covid? That they tested? I've no idea and I know I'm being completely unreasonable and that it's probably only a matter of time until I join them.

I know it's not anyone's fault when they catch a virus and I do feel sorry for anyone who does, but a bit of me wishes they wouldn't!

@JingleBellez

YABVU!

Poor bloke. He's sick and you're literally kicking him when he's down.

I don't think you know the meaning of the word "literally". Shame.

sorry you feel so low OP, not having a go but you probably like me looked forward to having a wonderful Christmas only to have the rug pulled continuing your frustration about your shitty year. Please don't be angry at him , and definitely don't be angry with yourself.
only advice i can give is to keep talking together, make him part of team Bookish , and try to stop looking for Holy Grails. Hope you have a nice Christmas.