So disappointed that my mum may have risked Christmas.

[DontWantTheRivalry]

My mum and dad love hosting Christmas Day - it’s been that way for about 15 years and all the family get together and it’s been a long running family tradition. There’s usually about 10-12 people in total.

Last year both parents (but especially my mum) were really upset that the family Christmas Day couldn’t go ahead because they see the event as such an important part of our family tradition. Some family members live in a different area of the country so it’s always been a lovey opportunity to get together.

Anyhow - over the last few months my parents have been getting into the festive mood and have been really excited about being able to host Christmas Day again and we’ve all really been looking forward to it. We all bring food contributions so the work load isn’t all on my parent’s shoulders and so we’ve all been planning it together etc.

However, I spoke to my mum last night and apparently on Wednesday night she went to a concert with some of her work friends to see a local band. She said it was in a small concert hall (so no ventilation) where everyone was singing and nobody had to wear masks. She said there were about 300 people there.

I was just gobsmacked.

I asked her why she would take that risk 10 days before Christmas when she is hosting everyone and especially when three of the family members are over 70 years old (although they are generally very well for their age).

She said “I won’t catch it”
I asked how she knew and she said after a very long pause, “I just won’t”

She said that as she is triple vaccinated she will be fine and that she had “been good” as she had her App turned on I felt so exasperated and told her the App doesn’t stop people picking Covid up from someone else though!

I gently told her that I thought she was mad to have taken the risk.

I’m so disappointed - not so much for all of the family because if my mum/dad did get unwell and had to isolate then the rest of us would have Christmas Dinner somewhere else (me and husband would be happy to host) but I know my mum will be devastated again if she has to miss out on our traditional family celebration.

I just don’t understand why she’d take the risk.

I spoke to my sister about it this morning and she thinks I was out of order to express how I felt or try to make our mum feel guilty, and yes, maybe I was and my intention certainly wasn’t to guilt-trip her, but I was just so shocked when she told me.

I really hope she doesn’t catch it because she’s going to be so upset if she has to miss out on Christmas Day.

I know it was my mum’s risk to take but if she gets unwell I’m still going to feel so upset for her. It will put such a dampener on Christmas Day if she can’t be a part of it with the rest of us.

I just had to vent!!

OP, you work with sick babies and your mum and sister have both been in high risk environments 10 days before Christmas- and refuse to get tested. That means they know there’s a chance they could be positive but asymptomatic.

So I’m other words, sod the vulnerable, elderly relatives joining you all, and sod the risk to the sick babies you work with - their desire to have a big Christmas is more important than keeping others safe.

I think going out into those types of environments just before Christmas is bonkers if Christmas is important for you. But if you’re willing to accept the consequences AND test yourself, then ok.

Your mum isn’t willing to accept the consequences of a positive test nor is she willing to make sure others are safe by doing a test. She’s being incredibly selfish.

In your position I wouldn’t go over for Christmas- and I would make it absolutely clear why. This is on her.

She has the right to do what she wants, but every action has a consequence. Her refusal to do an LFT is the big issue - and demonstrates that she doesn’t care about protecting others, or making sure she doesn’t infect someone potentially vulnerable. This isn’t about her going out - it’s about her failing to care that she might infect someone vulnerable.

Her risky night out is done now and can't be undone, but not doing LFTs so she can live in blissfull ignorance about possibly being positive and asymptomatic is a whole new level of selfish.

I get why this bothers you OP as it could potentially affect other people too not just her.

Ds2 lives in London and was living his life (no clubs or concerts but restaurants) before he came back (we live outside of the UK) last Thursday. Test was negative before he left and positive on arrival (PCR so didn’t get the results immediately). We didn’t make him self isolate as he had no symptoms and his negative pretest was taken just the day before. DD didn’t go to London to visit her long term boyfriend for his birthday (again) as she was concerned about catching covid and bringing it with her so she is annoyed at ds2 for not being more careful. My dm was coming over with dd but of course we had to cancel her coming (and not seeing her at Xmas for the second year running). He’s stuck in his bedroom. The rest of us have to self isolate so dd can’t see any of her friends while she’s back (nor can ds2). Not to mention we could all have Covid.

I’m sorry that’s happened longtime - it’s all just so shit

My mum woke up yesterday with a really sore throat and a headache and I told her she had to take a LFT which showed a really really faint positive line. She had a PCR last night and we are just waiting on the results.

I’m not feeling too hopeful

Longtime you must just want to SCREAM.

I think too many people have become used to thinking that "the letter of the law" is the Relevant Rule, rather than weighing individual pros and cons. Also of course that the law is there to be broken: obviously by the "powerful", so why not by the powerless?

What people do not yet seem to be taking into account is the extra transmissibility of omicron. 70 times more transmissible according to the latest info. And although the symptoms may be less, with 70 times more people getting it, the impact will be enormous and the number of people getting hospitalised (and some unknown percentage dead) will rise incrementally.

We must all make the most of what is left of our tattered Christmas.
Happy Christmas One and All

70 times or 7 times?

@yzed

Longtime you must just want to SCREAM.

I think too many people have become used to thinking that "the letter of the law" is the Relevant Rule, rather than weighing individual pros and cons. Also of course that the law is there to be broken: obviously by the "powerful", so why not by the powerless?

What people do not yet seem to be taking into account is the extra transmissibility of omicron. 70 times more transmissible according to the latest info. And although the symptoms may be less, with 70 times more people getting it, the impact will be enormous and the number of people getting hospitalised (and some unknown percentage dead) will rise incrementally.

We must all make the most of what is left of our tattered Christmas.
Happy Christmas One and All

That is not correct.

You are referencing a study done on how fast omicron replicates in the upper respiratory tract from Hong Kong (in Vitro not in Vivo).

Its roughly 50% to 70% more transmissible than the Delta variant based on work done by Imperial.

bambinaJAS
That is not correct.

You are referencing a study done on how fast omicron replicates in the upper respiratory tract from Hong Kong (in Vitro not in Vivo).

Its roughly 50% to 70% more transmissible than the Delta variant based on work done by Imperial.

Thanks for the Imperial update.

NB: the Hong Kong study was neither in vitro nor in vivo, but ex vivo; an innovative and amazing new research tool.

But whichever the truth of the transmissibility figures, there are currently at least 90,000 new "cases" per day (and likely many times more as-yet-not-discovered infections).

• Hospital admissions are rising. So regardless of less severity for some, the impact will be huge.

My mum’s PCR came back positive and two of the friends she went with have also got it as well.

In her text she says she’s devastated

Sorry OP.

At least you all know now and haven’t been in contact with each other then found out.

To be honest I don’t know why she did what she did if Christmas was so important to her (which it sounds like it is). Probably a bitter pill to swallow knowing it’s likely her own actions that caused it.

My husband has just gone out to buy a Turkey for us to host the day and my mum has let everyone know what’s happened.

My dad is not happy with her because now his Christmas is ruined too.

My mum says she feels pretty much herself though (apart from the headache) so at least that’s something.

Thanks for letting us know DontWantThe. I was wondering how it'd pan out. Maybe your Mum can have a New Year's get-together instead?

Glad she’s not ill with it - if she’s tripled jabbed the likelihood is she won’t be.

Hopefully the rest of you will still have a nice Christmas and you can FaceTime your mum and dad or something so they can join in.

I'm so sorry OP

I hope you still have a lovely Christmas. I hope you're mum is ok too. Perhaps next year will be different x

So sorry to hear about this OP but I think your story raises an important issue - she said "I won't catch it" and you query why and she says "I just won't". I know people like this, and my DD is constantly being told in school by symptomatic classmates 'oh, it's not covid' when they haven't tested.

The memo definitely hasn't got through that yes, everyone can catch it and symptoms can be mild (especially if triple vaxxed).

Also that some things are definitely higher risk (like singing indoors with 100s of others) and whilst you can 'catch it anywhere' there some things are MUCH higher risk than others, and a concert where everyone is maskless and singing during the exponentially growing peak of omicron is one of those things...

Thank goodness she's done the right thing and tested and no vulnerable members of your family will be put at risk. I hope it continues to be mild for her.

I'm somewhat impressed that you and your DH are willing to host a family Xmas on two days warning.... not sure I would, I wish you luck!

I also think it highlights that a lot of people have no concept of risk - or rather different levels of risk.

The amount of people early on asked if OP wasn’t going to supermarkets etc as though that was the same as a venue indoors with 300 maskless people.

I'm somewhat impressed that you and your DH are willing to host a family Xmas on two days warning.... not sure I would, I wish you luck!

Well thankfully, everyone who attends brings a contribution to the Christmas meal so it won’t all be on our shoulders.

We might have to move some furniture out the living room to make way for everyone but we’ll manage.

Thanks everyone for your messages - I’m disappointed but part of me was expecting it to happen so I had mentally prepared myself for it.

My sister said after her night out she’s done an LFT every morning and will done one on Christmas Day too, as will her two children (aged 13 and 16).

We’ll make the best out of it as we can.

Unusual for it to take a week from exposure to positive PCR.

Glad she’s not feeling too poorly with it. Well done on stepping up to host OP, hopefully all the rest of the family can still make it.

This is life now. We can’t not live our life forever. We all get in cars, cross roads etc.
I hope your mum doesn’t get unwell with it.

It's a shame but I don't think blaming people in these situations is helpful. Everyone feels fed up of all this and the added stress of everything being ok for this one day of Christmas is just too much. Who is to say that you can have negative LFTs on Christmas Day and be positive the next? What about all those working in retail, bars, restaurants and cafés in the run up to Christmas meeting 100s of people a day they have choice and are possibly going to expose family members over Christmas.

I'm sorry to hear its worked out this way thank you for updating us though as would have wondered what happened.

Good on you for having a Plan B.

Hope your mum (and your dad if he catches it too) have a mild case.

Very sorry to hear the outcome OP. I agree your mum wasn't thinking straight when she went to the concert - this variant is super contagious, it was highly unlikely she would avoid it in that concert environment. Hope you manage to have a good Christmas anyway and can arrange another get together for everyone once everyone's well again.

Unusual for it to take a week from exposure to positive PCR.

That’s what I thought - I’m surprised she told me that she had the headache/sore throat to be honest. She did resist when I suggested an LFT as she said they aren’t for symptomatic people (which to be fair, she was right) and that she’d just see how she felt the next day, but she did eventually do it.

The line was so faint and so she was reluctant to go for a PCR as she thought a positive would be a really obvious line (which I’m not sure is the case) but I said that if plans had to change over Christmas then it would be best if she just got a PCR so the changes could be made as early as possible.

She didn’t say anything about which variant - but I assume she would have been told if it was Omnicron?

@DontWantTheRivalry

Unusual for it to take a week from exposure to positive PCR.

That’s what I thought - I’m surprised she told me that she had the headache/sore throat to be honest. She did resist when I suggested an LFT as she said they aren’t for symptomatic people (which to be fair, she was right) and that she’d just see how she felt the next day, but she did eventually do it.

The line was so faint and so she was reluctant to go for a PCR as she thought a positive would be a really obvious line (which I’m not sure is the case) but I said that if plans had to change over Christmas then it would be best if she just got a PCR so the changes could be made as early as possible.

She didn’t say anything about which variant - but I assume she would have been told if it was Omnicron?

Ah that makes more sense if she maybe had slight symptoms for a few days first but was sticking her head in the sand about it! I’m not sure if they tell you now whether it’s Omicron or not, I think they did previously but that’s just while the self isolation rules were different.

Well there you go op
Hope your mum thinke the concert was worth it and obviously that she doesnt get too poorly
Wonder if the people who have been unpleasant to you reflect on their unnecessarily unkind comments now