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Original poster

Teenager refusing vaccination

157 replies

Hueandcry · 14/12/2021 22:58

My older teen has refused to be vaccinated. It's causing endless arguments between us. Please help me deal with this

OP posts:
gogohm · 15/12/2021 20:35

As of today he needs to show a passport or do lft just to go to a club

kowari · 15/12/2021 20:36

It's his decision. Agree to disagree and avoid the subject if it causes arguments. Would he do an antibody test? It's highly likely he's already had it.

Notthemessiah · 15/12/2021 20:36

@SparklingLime

This has to take a prize as one of the most pompous, twatty statements on MN. The competition is stiff.

Well personally speaking, I put my childrens’ well-being over and above my own and certainly over other peoples.

(Plus it has too many grammatical errors for someone so sure of their correctness.)

Just ignore it, @Hueandcry.

I’d say yours comes a close second though, especially when you throw in the free grammar lesson.

Weird that it’s somehow a controversial opinion to put your kids first.

Original poster
Hueandcry · 15/12/2021 20:42

29SparklingLime

This has to take a prize as one of the most pompous, twatty statements on MN. The competition is stiff.

Well personally speaking, I put my childrens’ well-being over and above my own and certainly over other peoples.

(Plus it has too many grammatical errors for someone so sure of their correctness.)

Just ignore it, @Hueandcry.

This made me laugh - thank you Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Hueandcry · 15/12/2021 20:46

Notthemessiah stop being a gf

OP posts:
RagzReturnedUnwrapped · 15/12/2021 20:49

@tigger1001

I don't understand why you are endlessly arguing over it. That won't change their mind - more likely it will make them dig their heels in.

It is their decision. As it should be. I told my teenager it was up to them and to go read about it and we could discuss it if he wanted but I would support his decision either way. It was important to me that he knew we could discuss it even if his opinion was different to mine.

Exactly what I did with my teens (14 and 15). I told them it was their decision but I expected them to base their decision on facts, so I would be asking for their reasoning and challenging it if I felt it was misguided. At that point, the JCVI weren't advising it due to the benefits only slightly outweighing the risks, so despite being a vaccinator myself I was happy for them not to have it if they really didn't want to.

DS1 chose to have it mostly so getting Covid didn't mess up his GCSEs - he then got covid during mocks, instead so still missed stuff and the vaccination made little difference, though he may well have been more ill if he hadn't had it.

DS2 chose not to get it because he considered it unlikely he'd get unwell with Covid (despite having asthma) and couslnt see the benefits (he's also a contrary little so and so!). He then got a bad cold a few weeks later which set off his asthma and changed his mind (with some gentle nudging!), so he got the jab a month after DS1.

DD will be 12 in 6 weeks and definitely doesn't want it, but only because she doesn't like needles and I'll be quite insistent about her getting the HPV one next year so she's going to have to get used to them sooner or later. I'm thinking bribery and coercion for that one Blush as 12 is NOT the same as 15 in terms of being allowed to make decisions for themselves.

Notthemessiah · 15/12/2021 20:53

@Hueandcry

Notthemessiah stop being a gf
Please. Expressing a different opinion to you is not being a goady fucker. Laughing at the post that called my comment twatty on the other hand……
XenoBitch · 15/12/2021 20:57

DD will be 12 in 6 weeks and definitely doesn't want it, but only because she doesn't like needles and I'll be quite insistent about her getting the HPV one next year so she's going to have to get used to them sooner or later. I'm thinking bribery and coercion for that one blush as 12 is NOT the same as 15 in terms of being allowed to make decisions for themselves

@RagzReturnedUnwrapped

You are only setting your DD up for a needle phobia, and that can have a huge knock on effect for the rest of her life.
Please, no coercion or bribery. You need to show patience and understanding.

Original poster
Hueandcry · 15/12/2021 20:59

Your comment was twatty. My op was asking for help to deal with my son's decision. You have offered no help & are trying to derail my thread so please stop

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 15/12/2021 21:06

I would respect his choice, he’s an adult after all so it is his choice.

One of my teens is vaccinated, the other isn’t (yet), I have held off because dd has reacted badly to several other vaccines, she has SN’s and I wanted to make sure I was making the right choice. She will be getting vaccinated but I can’t get her a vaccination until the new year because she can’t cope going to a vaccination centre (now wishing she had got it at school).

I have several friends that are not vaccinated, I don’t feel they are a risk to me as I am vaccinated, I do worry about them getting covid because they are over 40, overweight etc.. but I don’t want to be that person that keeps nagging them to get it.

gunnersgold · 15/12/2021 21:08

Why are you arguing with them ? It's their choice . I let dd 17 at the time choose for herself ! It's her body after all.

Original poster
Hueandcry · 15/12/2021 21:23

We argue because I want him to make an informed decision but he hasn't done any research. Also because I'm disappointed he cannot see the bigger picture & I feel he shows no social responsibility

OP posts:
Notthemessiah · 15/12/2021 21:26

@Hueandcry

Your comment was twatty. My op was asking for help to deal with my son's decision. You have offered no help & are trying to derail my thread so please stop
I don't see many other people offering help so I'd say the thread is a bit of a loss, but fine, will leave you to it. I genuinely hope that you can accept your son's decision and see things from his point of view.
angryelf · 15/12/2021 21:42

To be honest I think the poor lad could research to appease you until he was blue in the face but unless he came to the same conclusion as you, you wouldn't be happy.

boogiebogie · 15/12/2021 21:46

Good on them. Myocarditis is no fun.

Original poster
Hueandcry · 15/12/2021 22:12

He's not a poor lad. He's a strapping 6ft young man who i have brought up on my own so excuse me for trying my best to keep us all safe & well

OP posts:
kowari · 15/12/2021 22:38

We argue because I want him to make an informed decision but he hasn't done any research.
I wonder how many people actually did any research before getting a jab?

XenoBitch · 15/12/2021 22:43

@Hueandcry

We argue because I want him to make an informed decision but he hasn't done any research. Also because I'm disappointed he cannot see the bigger picture & I feel he shows no social responsibility
'No' and 'I don't want to' are complete sentences.. and you would be doing him a disservice to suggest otherwise.
CallItLoneliness · 16/12/2021 03:21

The selfishness and poor reading comprehension on this thread explain an awful lot about the situation in which we now find ourselves.

Nowhere did I say that OP's son (or anyone else) should have to spend all of Xmas day away from their parents, but equally their parents might like to see their own parents--who may be elderly, frail and vulnerable. Early data on omicron is showing that the vaccine offers poorer protection for the elderly in particular; much better protection for younger people. If OPs son won't even do a LFT to protect his elderly relatives, then the consequences of that are that he might have to spend PART OF Christmas day away from his mum.

To the person who said they're glad I'm not their mother--I'm glad too. I don't think we'd get along very well.

Rowgtfc72 · 16/12/2021 04:18

Dd is unvaccinated. She's 14, sensible and weighed up the pros and cons.
She had covid last October and was quite poorly and she's still not quite right.
Difference is she's more than happy to do lfts before going to events or spending time with older relatives or vulnerable friends.
Rather than concentrating on lack of vaccine you could maybe push the importance of testing?

Blueberry40 · 16/12/2021 06:35

Just wanted to say OP that you’re not alone in feeling disappointed/concerned. My eldest DS had one vaccine in June and has now decided he won’t be having another. I too feel that his decision is selfish but am mostly keeping quiet about it. I have voiced my opinion once so he knows how I feel but am leaving it at that as otherwise it would just drive a wedge between us.

His dad is CEV and we have many elderly relatives who he sees on a fairly regularly basis. He has had covid twice already and possibly now has it a third time (waiting for PCR) so I also worry about his health and that he has to isolate/miss work etc. it’s especially upsetting atm as it looks like he may have to be spending Christmas Day alone with covid Xmas Sad

2022HereWeCome · 16/12/2021 09:25

But why is there this expectation that young people should have a vaccination that is of marginal benefit to them medically simply for the 'greater good' or out of some sense of 'societal responsibility'? I actually think young people have gone above and beyond in many respects over the last two years and people should recognise this. I could quote lots of examples of older people, my MIL being one, of showing no such consideration once she'd had her jabs.

AlexaShutUp · 16/12/2021 09:31

@2022HereWeCome

But why is there this expectation that young people should have a vaccination that is of marginal benefit to them medically simply for the 'greater good' or out of some sense of 'societal responsibility'? I actually think young people have gone above and beyond in many respects over the last two years and people should recognise this. I could quote lots of examples of older people, my MIL being one, of showing no such consideration once she'd had her jabs.
I think all of us should think about the greater good... young or otherwise.

Do you not agree with the concept of social responsibility? Or do you just think it shouldn't apply to young people?

Some young people have gone above and beyond to protect others over the last two years, as have some older people. Others of all ages have behaved selfishly and irresponsibly. I suspect that the first group are the ones who are more likely to have got their jabs in any case. The latter group, maybe not so likely.

Original poster
Hueandcry · 16/12/2021 18:44

I really detest that mn idea that no is a complete sentence. It isn't. It's one word. If you're going to say something at least make it make sense!

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 16/12/2021 18:50

@Hueandcry

I really detest that mn idea that no is a complete sentence. It isn't. It's one word. If you're going to say something at least make it make sense!
It is not a MN idea at all. it was something taught to me during therapy.
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