Teenager refusing vaccination

[Hueandcry]

My older teen has refused to be vaccinated. It's causing endless arguments between us. Please help me deal with this

My concern is more that he is putting myself & his elderly relatives at risk due to his lifestyle - mixing with lots of others at sport & nightclubs etc

He's 18! What is so wrong with him having a social life. You would have done at his age. Why are you so scared? You had your vaccines I guess? And your relatives. Stop viewing young perfectly healthy people as diseased. Posts like this are so tragic. This is what Government have done to people, making them fear their own family members. He made a different choice to you - that's all. He won't be the only 18 year old who feels like this.

My dd 16 is doubled jabbed as she was given the vaccine early and recently had to be off college 3 weeks after contracting the virus and being really ill where as her antivax boyfriends family who also caught it didn't get a single symptom. Needless to say she is feeling a bit fed up and has asked what the point of having it was.

Well it was 3 weeks to flatten the curve, two years later and it seems lockdowns are going to be happening in a few days times, talk today of schools shutting in January so it seems that even after 3 jabs we are no further out of this mess. If Omricom is so mild then why the panic, if the

vaccines work why is covid so rife again.

Look. We’re a large family.
We have elderly parents, other vulnerable family members and an adult DS with underlying health conditions etc etc

We all make our own decisions re vaccination. It was almost easier during lockdown, although I feel I lost some of my DCs a little bit during that time whilst I tried to protect other family members.

It was a tough choice and now I’ve had to let go of it or I would go mad. We all do our own thing and make our own decisions. I’m just so tired of it all.

My 18.3 year old nephew has refused.
I suspect he hasn't really thought about the greater risk of passing Covid to his frail elderly GP who live next door, or the fact that in three months he will have to self isolate every time he's a positive contact in the run up to his A levels.
But his choice.

I've often found out the best way to get a teenager to do something is to argue with them and nag them said no one ever .
If you back off totally there's a slim chance he will get it done when he finds out how restrictive it is to be unvaccinated

There is a difference between accepting and respecting a decision. While I may feel I have to accept someone’s decision not to be vaccinated, there’s no way I would respect it. If your 18-year-old lives with you, in your position I would ask him to move out. It’s completely wrong of him to put other people at risk.

My teenagers are the same. They’ve already had covid and been fine. It’s their decision and I’m fine with it.

@daisypond omg really you'd throw your teenager on the streets 😳 bloody hell

@Hueandcry

My older teen has refused to be vaccinated. It's causing endless arguments between us. Please help me deal with this

You can't force them, so no point in arguing about it.

Our 14 year old hasn't had it, his decision, so it's never discussed.

[quote Dontforgetyourbrolly]@daisypond omg really you'd throw your teenager on the streets 😳 bloody hell[/quote]
Of course not. At 18, they are adult. If they are still at school, I would make an exception, but if they are at college or working, I would help them find somewhere to live. There’s no way I would have someone living in my house - I’m CEV undergoing cancer treatment - without being vaccinated. I would be very disappointed that my teen would willingly put people at risk.

@Hueandcry

He started off not believing covid was a thing but now says he is young, fit & healthy & doesn't think he would even know if he got it. He is 18. He won't do any lft despite working in a customer facing role. He says the vaccine has not been fully tested & side effects down the line are unknown. My concern is more that he is putting myself & his elderly relatives at risk due to his lifestyle - mixing with lots of others at sport & nightclubs etc. Claims to have never been asked for a vaccine passport to enter such events

Well maybe you could start by believing the vaccine works and protects you from serious illness and death if you catch covid. If you don't believe your vaccines protect you then why does your son need it? He could still catch it and pass it on either way

Try and bribe your child into having the vaccine? Lovely.

Not at all - he's already made his choice, missing out on the holiday would be a natural consequence. I'd also be asking him to spend Christmas elsewhere if you have elderly relatives visiting. Again, natural consequences.

mixing with lots of others at sport & nightclubs etc. Claims to have never been asked for a vaccine passport to enter such events

It is probably is true at the moment but won't be soon. Once he needs a vaccine passport for nightclubs he'll either stop going or get vaccinated.

Let it go. I'm a big fan of effective vaccines but will refuse the Covid vaccine on my children's behalf if extended to the younger age group. Why?

Because the infinitesimally small risk of vaccine-induced myocarditis is still slightly higher than the risk of contracting Covid in their cases (as healthy boys who have already tested positive). Therefore the decision to have the vaccine would be an altruistic one, acting ever so slightly against their own self-interest in favour of the larger social good. I don't think the role of a parent is to make decisions of that kind -- it's to protect the child's own interests until they can decide for themselves. Sounds as if your DC has done that. Good on them.

I'd also be asking him to spend Christmas elsewhere if you have elderly relatives visiting. Again, natural consequences

Why, if the elderly relatives are vaccinated and have had the booster recently? My elderly mother is currently probably better protected than I am, as I've not had my booster yet.

@daisypond

There is a difference between accepting and respecting a decision. While I may feel I have to accept someone’s decision not to be vaccinated, there’s no way I would respect it. If your 18-year-old lives with you, in your position I would ask him to move out. It’s completely wrong of him to put other people at risk.

Why is he putting other people at risk? They should get vaccinated themselves and stop mithering about other people.

There is a misconception on MN that unvaccinated = has covid. And that vaccinated = does not have covid. Neither are true,

His problem 🤷‍♀️

If he can't go places then that's his issue alone

He's 18, never talk to him about it again

@riveted1

'Given the sheer volume of misinformation out there (like your posts about it being more harmful than infection itself), much of it spread by groups with people using dr/professor titles like HART & FLCCC, it's hardly suprising that people are not able to make an informed choice on this.*'
*
Where was the misinformation? The government report in September said the following. For a teenage boy (higher risk than a girl) who has already had Covid (natural immunity) the vaccine doesn't seem a good choice. For another teenager it might be. But the evidence is far from clear (other than for those with underlying conditions)

The available evidence indicates that the individual health benefits from COVID-19 vaccination are small in those aged 12 to 15 years who do not have underlying health conditions which put them at risk of severe COVID-19. The potential risks from vaccination are also small, with reports of post-vaccination myocarditis being very rare, but potentially serious and still in the process of being described. Given the rarity of these events and the limited follow-up time of children and young people with post-vaccination myocarditis, substantial uncertainty remains regarding the health risks associated with these adverse events.
Overall, the committee is of the opinion that the benefits from vaccination are marginally greater than the potential known harms (tables 1 to 4) but acknowledges that there is considerable uncertainty regarding the magnitude of the potential harms. The margin of benefit, based primarily on a health perspective, is considered too small to support advice on a universal programme of vaccination of otherwise healthy 12 to 15-year-old children at this time.

Do not let this cause friction or problems it's his choice!! Back off!!!

You can't force him to have the vaccine but him stating he won't do a LFT despite customer facing job role , elderly relatives and going to nightclubs just shows his level of intellect and is another matter entirely

It would be good if you could call his job and tell them he doesn't do LFT tests before his shifts he will soon start when his job warns him they want to see proof otherwise he can't work there and can't be paid and that means no more money for nightclubs

@TheOccupier

Try and bribe your child into having the vaccine? Lovely.

Not at all - he's already made his choice, missing out on the holiday would be a natural consequence. I'd also be asking him to spend Christmas elsewhere if you have elderly relatives visiting. Again, natural consequences.

There's nothing 'natural' about it if you're deliberately choosing the holiday to try to coerce him.

When I became vegetarian as a teenager, my disapproving parents took us out to eat 3 times in one week. It was usually a very rare treat for us, and this was back when vegetarian menu items were mostly limited to side dishes and salads. I didn't cave and order meat, I'm still vegetarian today, and still think it was shitty of them. (But vaccines are different to meat eating? Yes, but the principle holds.)

I wouldn't be surprised if, should OP do this sort of thing, her son skips the holiday and becomes even more entrenched in his position. It certainly won't help her relationship with him.

OP, with the greatest respect it is none of your business. But you should feel able to request that he does LFT after being in a higher risk environment or before seeing elderly relatives if he is living with you.