DP threatening breakup if I take the vaccine

[PPPPressure]

Hi all,

I'm normally a lurker on MN, but have posted a few times and decided to name change for this.

I want to get the vaccine so that I can travel, but DP is set against me having it as he's heard the claims that it affects periods and fertility. He's also suspicious about the government enforcing the vaccine passort for nightclubs and possibly pubs.

I know that there's no scientific research to suggest the vaccine affects fertility but I have PCOS and I'm already paranoid that I will have difficulty conceiving in the future. He's jokingly said he will break up with me if I get vaccinated but I think he's being serious. He's also said that it will be my fault if we can't conceive in the future if I've taken the vaccine.

I'm considering getting it behind his back is that unreasonable? On the other hand I'm getting anxiety from reading about the side effects online. ( I know that every vaccine/ medication has side effects and I'm being irrational but I just can't stop panicking about it)

I know some people might suggest LTB, I love him, and for other personal reasons breaking up isn't an option

[quote MRex]@Stephy97 - When a child is at least 12 and expresses a preference, the judge will listen. Your daughter can talk to Cafcass to say she doesn't want to go to his home, or anything from seeing him only outside to not seeing him at all. They can confirm that she is saying this of her own volition. You can represent yourself (well, represent your DD's wishes) in family court and present statements from them. Judges can make an order if they feel it is in the best interests of the child. You could also be eligible for legal aid: www.nationalprobonocentre.org.uk/finding-legal-help/. Good luck.[/quote]

I would have agreed with this until watching the recent episode of Dispatches, Torn Apart: Family Courts Uncovered.

Two teenagers were constantly expressing their want to stay with their mother but a judge ordered them to be forcibly removed.

@AppleJane, that was only one case with its own circumstances. When a teenager doesn't want to go to see one parent and he is putting her in danger of infection, it's highly unlikely a court would force her to go.

@Terhou I agree. But I still think everyone should watch Dispatches. There were a number of 'obvious' danger situations which were not treated by the court how any reasonable person would expect (such as the woman who discovered her partner was a convicted child abuser) I found it disturbing and forewarned is forearmed.

“AppleJane

@Terhou I agree. But I still think everyone should watch Dispatches. There were a number of 'obvious' danger situations which were not treated by the court how any reasonable person would expect (such as the woman who discovered her partner was a convicted child abuser) I found it disturbing and forewarned is forearmed.“

I have not watched this yet but heard of it. Thanks for bringing this up. It is completely shocking what can happen in practice -
as you say, not at all what any reasonable person would expect.

The more people who realise what is going on the better, and also the more forearmed they could be, as you also said.

[quote AppleJane]@Terhou I agree. But I still think everyone should watch Dispatches. There were a number of 'obvious' danger situations which were not treated by the court how any reasonable person would expect (such as the woman who discovered her partner was a convicted child abuser) I found it disturbing and forewarned is forearmed. [/quote]
The problem with all these programmes is that you never get to hear the full story because SS are prevented from breaching confidentiality.

Wow this is chilling OP.
I've read all your posts. You're in a relationship with a man, who wants to control what you do to your body, by threatening you. And you have to go behind his back to have a medical procedure, during a pandemic.
You "can't" be without him, or with anyone else for reasons that you can't say but seems something to do with self esteem but I'm not sure.

This is so, so, so much more than the vaccine OP.

What if you do get pregnant? Does he get to weigh in on how you take care of your body during pregnancy? On how you give birth?

When baby is born, will you be fighting about vaccinating them, or any medical treatment?

This isn't a good relationship situation OP and I wouldn't be wanting to have children with him?

Thanks for your input, still lots to think about but I've had the vaccine

Glad to hear you have had the vaccine! Good for you.

As for the vaccine affecting fertility, I doubt it but getting covid is far more likely to affect fertility, short term at least. The jury is still out but worth pointing this out to your DP as it's not just women's fertility they are researching after a covid infection but mens too.

bmjopen.bmj.com/content/11/2/e045524

I have PCOS and endometriosis.

I have had 2 x AZ vaccines.

Absolutely no change to my periods.

Ltb

@PPPPressure

Thanks for your input, still lots to think about but I've had the vaccine

Just read your replies OP.

Well done! What was his reaction?

@Itsprobablynotcominghome

Surprisingly okay, he hasn't said anything negative, just asking whether I feel ill, need any paracetamol etc