Would you have non-vaccinated people in your house?

[NormaSnorks]

I am part of a reading group. 8 of us used to meet in each other's houses on a rotating basis. Have been on zoom for last 14 months but we are starting to discuss return to hosting at home.

One member is ardent anti-vaxxer and two other members have said privately that they don't want her in their homes as they believe she presents a higher risk. One has an elderly relative at home and the other a CEV child.

My friend is now anti vax, not hesitant, full on microchip brigade. She hangs out with groups of like minded irl.

With 2 CEV kids, who are attending school, albeit masked up and with gel etc, by inviting her in to our home I believe I would be taking an unnecessary risk.

On the other hand, my vax hesitant friends have taken precautions. We are probably a bigger risk to them than they are to us, because they don't have kids.

Each person needs to make their own choices and take responsibility for the consequences. It is shit as so little is known about longer term. But if any of my van free friends decided to lie about being vax or hesitant, I would consider that pretty bad.

I’m not vaccinated. And my kids live here too and obviously they’re not vaccinated. My partner is vaccinated....maybe he should kick us out....😬

I’m happy to have anyone that I like in my home, they don’t have to declare vaccination status at the door. You are going to be mixing with people who aren’t vaccinated all the time if you go out. 🤷🏻‍♀️

You say its more about a clash of values than anything and I think that's a real shame. Would you exclude a supposed friend that voted differently to you, was pro/anti brexit etc?

I’m vaccine hesitant but willing in this instance to vaccinate partly to protect a relative who cannot get vaccinated. She has been very careful throughout and taken sensible precautions. I don’t have a problem being in a group with her.

But I am avoiding an anti-vaccine, anti-mask, covid-denying conspiracy theorist. Happy to be friends via SM, but not to hug and air-kiss anymore.

They DID make a big deal of it. At one point she was spamming our WhatsApp chat and her FB page with every possible conspiracy theory until someone whose partner works in hospital told them to stop.

This would be more if an issue. I don’t want to be around people who try to force any viewpoint on to me. I’m not vaccinated because I’m vegan and I don’t agree with animal testing which has been particularly awful for this. Other than with my partner and a few people close to me, I don’t really talk about my views on covid, the vaccine or veganism. I don’t force my opinions on them and I don’t want others opinions forced on me. People are allowed to make their own choices, it doesn’t need to become a big issue of everyone respects that.

I'm CEV so no. But anyone who comes over to my house knows not to if they have a cold/tonsillitis/are unwell also

@NormaSnorks

I agree with the poster who said it seems more a disagreement about values.

I care for a CEV, but my daughter is in school everyday.

My daughter HAS to go to school, but - otherwise I’m still limiting my contact where I can.

I have a few friends who I just know would be lax about the rules, so I am politely declining requests to meet up.

I have many other friends who - even before we meet, inform me of any concerns or exposure - and are considerate when we get together. Im very happy to meet up with them.

I think I would either continue to meet over zoom/or outside?

Or -

Personally - I just would not to meet up with an ardent conspiracy theorist because I think their views are dangerous. I would leave the group, and perhaps - if any others feel the same way- they should also leave - and you can form your own Covid safe group.

If conspiracy theorists are entitled to their view, you are also entitled to your view.

@Schrutesbeets

You say its more about a clash of values than anything and I think that's a real shame. Would you exclude a supposed friend that voted differently to you, was pro/anti brexit etc?

We lost friends over Brexit, yes.

For me, it depends on how well they argue and articulate their point of view. If someone argues with compelling reasons/personal experiences then I tend to just go with the flow and agree to differ.

Anti-vaccine, anti-mask, covid-denying conspiracy theorists - I think the value gap is just too much.

@Schrutesbeets

You say its more about a clash of values than anything and I think that's a real shame. Would you exclude a supposed friend that voted differently to you, was pro/anti brexit etc?

There’s a reason there’s well known advice not to discuss politics at work or parties. People absolutely end friendships over politics or radically different beliefs.

We lost friends over Brexit, yes.

😬

And they have to make a ‘good’ argument in order to remain your friend?

You’re not coming across very tolerant here OP.

If they’re people who are your friends, just stay off the subjects and remember why you like and love them as friends.

Reverse situation here... I am unvaccinated, but my vaccinated friends are happy to come into my house. It is no an issue at all.

In years to come, people asking themselves and others this will hang their head in shame. Same with all the falling out over it too.

@SupermanInk

We lost friends over Brexit, yes.

😬

And they have to make a ‘good’ argument in order to remain your friend?

You’re not coming across very tolerant here OP.

If they’re people who are your friends, just stay off the subjects and remember why you like and love them as friends.

Friendship is often about shared values and experiences.

I'm always happy to listen to different arguments and points of view and adjust my own accordingly.

But I have no time for domineering dogmatists.

Having parties, especially dinner ones, are amazing when you have a table full of people with different values/views. I have friends that are pro/anti allsorts and can be very proactive, whereas others just go with the flow.
Yes there's been fallouts over the years, however most of the times issues were already there. And other times yea it was a shame that a person's views were so blinkered they felt we were all wrong and left, in a rl flounce.

@canigooutyet

Having parties, especially dinner ones, are amazing when you have a table full of people with different values/views. I have friends that are pro/anti allsorts and can be very proactive, whereas others just go with the flow. Yes there's been fallouts over the years, however most of the times issues were already there. And other times yea it was a shame that a person's views were so blinkered they felt we were all wrong and left, in a rl flounce.

Did any of your friends' views present a possible risk to your family's health?

I'm in a support bubble with an unvaccinated friend. No problem.

Friendship is often about shared values and experiences.

I agree. But surely you would know before Brexit whether people were your ‘type’ of person. When you talk with someone about general stuff, you get to know whether you share the same morals on the things that matter to you. You don’t need their Brexit vote to tell you that. So if you liked them until that point, i don’t really understand.

@SupermanInk

We lost friends over Brexit, yes.

😬

And they have to make a ‘good’ argument in order to remain your friend?

You’re not coming across very tolerant here OP.

If they’re people who are your friends, just stay off the subjects and remember why you like and love them as friends.

Absolutely agree with this. How sad that someone needs to prove themselves essentially 'putting across a good argument.' That's sad.

And other times yea it was a shame that a person's views were so blinkered they felt we were all wrong and left, in a rl flounce

But that’s situation and perspective dependent surely?

I’m happy to have friends that enjoy a good debate and we can still finish the discussion on a good note but I think that’s largely because our core values are aligned; however if I found myself in a conversation with National Front members discussing segregation I don’t think I’d be agreeing to disagree, I think I’d flounce and that it would be completely justifiable.

@SupermanInk

Friendship is often about shared values and experiences.

I agree. But surely you would know before Brexit whether people were your ‘type’ of person. When you talk with someone about general stuff, you get to know whether you share the same morals on the things that matter to you. You don’t need their Brexit vote to tell you that. So if you liked them until that point, i don’t really understand.

I disagree.

We discovered that some 'friends' of ours actually had fairly deep-seated racist views which, despite us knowing them for several years, only came out as a result of discussions about Brexit.

I didn't want to spend time with them after that tbh.

@SupermanInk

Friendship is often about shared values and experiences.

I agree. But surely you would know before Brexit whether people were your ‘type’ of person. When you talk with someone about general stuff, you get to know whether you share the same morals on the things that matter to you. You don’t need their Brexit vote to tell you that. So if you liked them until that point, i don’t really understand.

People can always surprise you. I think your talking about something that resembles unconditional love and I don’t personally subscribe to that for anyone but my dc.

This thread has strayed a bit now, but I can see I should have titled it, "Would you be comfortable welcoming an ardent anti-vaxxer, conspiracy theorist into your home?"

We discovered that some 'friends' of ours actually had fairly deep-seated racist views which, despite us knowing them for several years, only came out as a result of discussions about Brexit.

Then they were not friends. They were just acquaintances as you didn’t know them. And no loss to your life at all with those views.

This thread has strayed a bit now, but I can see I should have titled it, "Would you be comfortable welcoming an ardent anti-vaxxer, conspiracy theorist into your home?"

I don’t get on with people that push their views on to me and are obsessive about it, regardless of the subject. So a person who is so focused on any issue that they bombard me with it, I wouldn’t choose to be around them, no.

I think your talking about something that resembles unconditional love and I don’t personally subscribe to that for anyone but my dc.

No I’m not. I don’t have any contact with my parents so unconditional loves isn’t something I subscribe to.
I just know my friends morals, that’s why they’re friends as they align with mine on the whole on the things that matter to me. I wouldn’t suddenly discover that my friend was racist due to Brexit.

MIL insists on knowing the vaccine status of people she comes into contact with such as hairdresser or someone visiting her home to do a small job. When I pointed out that our DCs were not vaccinated and probably very high risk atm due to the numbers they are in contact with at school and rising cases she said that it was different as they were her DGCs. There's also the possibility that people will just tell you what you want to hear, if you are asking someone if they are vaccinated then you obviously want to know the answer is yes.