Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Would you have non-vaccinated people in your house?

312 replies

NormaSnorks · 01/07/2021 15:32

I am part of a reading group. 8 of us used to meet in each other's houses on a rotating basis. Have been on zoom for last 14 months but we are starting to discuss return to hosting at home.

One member is ardent anti-vaxxer and two other members have said privately that they don't want her in their homes as they believe she presents a higher risk. One has an elderly relative at home and the other a CEV child.

OP posts:
Cornettoninja · 01/07/2021 15:58

@Oblahdeeoblahdoe

We have a similar problem with an adult nephew. He has a very laissez-faire approach to the whole C19 issue. I really wanted to have a small family do with my brother and his kids but honestly don't feel comfortable with having DN staying over. My attitude is it's his right to not be vaccinated but it's my right to not have him in my home, shame really...
This is the crux of it isn’t it? Like @Aroundtheworldin80moves says someone who isn’t on board with any of the points raised over the last year is going to be seen as more of a risk than someone who acknowledges the risks but just doesn’t want this particular vaccine.

‘Ardent anti-vaxer’ doesn’t sound like someone I’d particularly want to risk spending time with at the moment if I was trying to protect someone. You couldn’t trust them to bow out if they were feeling a bit ill.

Dinks90 · 01/07/2021 15:58

No, because having the vaccine doesn't stop you catching or spreading the virus.

mangojango · 01/07/2021 15:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Dinks90 · 01/07/2021 15:59

@Dinks90

No, because having the vaccine doesn't stop you catching or spreading the virus.
I mean yes sorry
chickenyhead · 01/07/2021 15:59

CEV kids here, so unless I knew they were staying safe, no. But otherwise, no problem.

Cornettoninja · 01/07/2021 16:03

@Dinks90

No, because having the vaccine doesn't stop you catching or spreading the virus.
It does reduce the likelihood of it though. That’s part of the logic behind vaccinating carers earlier than their age groups.

@canigooutyet which is fine for you it sounds like these people aren’t in a position to make that choice for someone else. If you live with someone immune suppressed or CEV in another way then it’s shitty to knowingly put yourself in a risky situation (or make their home riskier) because your exposing them to something they have no choice in.

Original poster
NormaSnorks · 01/07/2021 16:03

@Dinks90

No, because having the vaccine doesn't stop you catching or spreading the virus.
Mounting evidence that vaccines reduce transmission

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-56904993

OP posts:
Hornbill123456789 · 01/07/2021 16:05

I think - again I would exclude myself and not associate with an ardent anti-vaxxer. I have a right to choose to disagree strongly with their view. So rather than exclude the person, I would exclude myself.

canigooutyet · 01/07/2021 16:05

Anti vax is also getting tossed around with this vaccine a lot.
People rightfully have concerns for a multitude of legitimate reasons, yet they are shut down under the name of anti vax

And loooool the unvaxxed are more likely to be lax. What a load of twaddle. How many of the vaccinated still think that's it they are fully protected from getting/spreading it? It's like saying the unmasked were a walking danger to those wearing masks,

nether · 01/07/2021 16:08

There is a CEV person in our household, and no, we would not mix indoors with people we knew to be unvaccinated.

Life is pretty shit for the CEV, who live with additional precautionary guidance, and who are facing long term changes to how they live. Especially if they have a condition which means the vaccines may not work well at all.

canigooutyet · 01/07/2021 16:08

Doesn't stop/reduces is the same thing surely?

Songoftheseas · 01/07/2021 16:08

Without being too outing I’ve just had a big family drama as a close relative doesn’t want to see my DC and myself on an upcoming holiday abroad because we haven’t been vaccinated. They have had both jabs but apparently feel that it is too risky to see us. I was/am devastated as have good reasons for not having the vaccine (not an anti vaxxer, not a Covid denier) and have offered to do daily lateral flow tests, but they still don’t want to see me. It’s made me feel like a leper and will change our relationship going forward. I can’t believe people think like this. I could understand it if someone was vulnerable and hadn’t been jabbed themselves but that really isn’t the case here.

TheArtfulCodger · 01/07/2021 16:09

From what I've seen it's the vaccinated who are more lax. I'm vaccinated but still not keen on social hugging/kissing etc but so many of my friends and family go in for a kiss and a hug when we meet because were6all 'safe'. I'd happily have a none vaccinated person in my house - they'd be more at risk than I.

ClaudiaWankleman · 01/07/2021 16:09

it kind of suggests she may be more blase and more likely to carry covid

I don't think it makes her any more likely to 'carry' the virus as any of us who haven't yet received our full course of vaccinations. As you've noted, she is surrounded by people who are being vaccinated and vaccination reduces transmission, so her exposure risk is reduced.

Would you also ask who has had chicken pox and the flu jab?

Original poster
NormaSnorks · 01/07/2021 16:12

The member in question is not vaccine-hesitant but deffo anti-vax/ conspiracy theory/pro magic pills etc!

But @Hornbill123456789 - if two members would end up excluding themselves, wouldn't it be better to exclude the one member instead?

One of the group said to me that she feels that everyone else has done the maximum they can to protect themselves and others by being vaccinated, but person B hasn't, so shouldn't be eligible to re-join until covid levels are lower.

How is it different to travel companies or events wanting to see evidence of two jabs? (I'm booked to a RHS garden festival next week and they will only permit entry with a vaccine certificate or LF test result).

I wonder if she would take a LF test? (I doubt it)

OP posts:
BIoodyStupidJohnson · 01/07/2021 16:12

I would, personally. (Not that I'd know, generally. I don't normally take a medical history before I have people round for crumpets.)

I'm largely pro-vax and have been double-poked myself but I understand that others can't, and others don't want to. And I wouldn't see one single unvaccinated person as a significantly elevated risk. I'm not sure I'd even think about it, to be honest.

I don't like this social splitting off that's happening re unvaccinated people. It's a horrible reminder of the 80s when people were talking about how they'd refuse to shake hands with an HIV-positive person.

Wellbythebloodyhell · 01/07/2021 16:12

Yes I live with 4 of them Hmm

Confusedandshaken · 01/07/2021 16:13

It wouldn't bother me. I'm double vaxxed as is DH so we are as safe as anyone can be now. If they are willing to take the risk of going out and about without the protection of a vaccine, then that's their problem not mine.

lunar1 · 01/07/2021 16:13

My husband is CEV and has worked on the hospital wards throughout this. The very least he can expect is for hone to be a safe place, so no, I wouldn't allow them in.

Fitforforty · 01/07/2021 16:15

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

I did consider moving the children into the shed, but I've decided to let them in the house even though they aren't vaccinated and spend them time with 29 other unvaccinated people.

As for adults... honestly it depends on their overall approach. Complete denier... probably not. I wouldn't trust them. Just a bit nervous about the vaccination... probably would.

You joke about this but ECV DH and I did think if he should move out to be away from our children. I wouldn’t think twice about inviting DD1 friends over to play now - well except for the mess - but perhaps I should.
OchonAgusOchonOh · 01/07/2021 16:15

@canigooutyet

Anti vax is also getting tossed around with this vaccine a lot. People rightfully have concerns for a multitude of legitimate reasons, yet they are shut down under the name of anti vax

And loooool the unvaxxed are more likely to be lax. What a load of twaddle. How many of the vaccinated still think that's it they are fully protected from getting/spreading it? It's like saying the unmasked were a walking danger to those wearing masks,

And loooool the unvaxxed are more likely to be lax

I don't think anyone has said that.

I said ardent anti-vaxxers are likely to be more lax. Someone who hasn't had the vaccination because they feel it's still too new and the risk to them is low, are no more likely to be lax than someone who has been vaccinated. However, ardent anti-vaxxers tend to also be anti-mask and don't generally take precautions like social distancing and ventilation seriously.

ClaudiaWankleman · 01/07/2021 16:18

How is it different to travel companies or events wanting to see evidence of two jabs?

You are presumably supposed to be friends/ acquaintances with this woman. You aren't transacting a business relationship or organising international travel. That's what makes it different.

Cornettoninja · 01/07/2021 16:18

It's a horrible reminder of the 80s when people were talking about how they'd refuse to shake hands with an HIV-positive person

Except you really shouldn’t shake hands with someone with covid - ask Boris.

People are entitled to protect themselves. The situation in the OP is about people attending one another’s homes and if someone has reservations about having someone in their house they’re entitled to voice that.

Tbh the few times I have spoken with people about vaccinations it’s been a very short conversation, there is no need for any of the group to even know this member hasn’t had a vaccine unless they’ve chosen to make a big deal of it. It’s an easy enough question (if it happened at all) to deflect with a ‘not yet’.

canigooutyet · 01/07/2021 16:19

@canigooutyet which is fine for you it sounds like these people aren’t in a position to make that choice for someone else. If you live with someone immune suppressed or CEV in another way then it’s shitty to knowingly put yourself in a risky situation (or make their home riskier) because your exposing them to something they have no choice in.

I don't live alone. I have children. They put themselves in a shitty position everytime they walk out of the door. I used to put them in a shitty position everytime I walked them to nursery/school and various child filled activities. I put people in shitty situations everytime I had people in my home regardless of if they knew my health situation or not. Every party I had in my home I took the chance that they could have something brewing.

I want to enjoy my life not just exist. I want others to enjoy their own lifes. It's really not pleasant just existing and you get to the point of asking yourself what is the point in living just to exist. Might as well do everyone around me a favour and end it all now so I won't be a burden on people I love and care about.

NearlyAlwaysInsane · 01/07/2021 16:20

Who cares. I don't ask people whether they've had chickenpox, whether they've had the MMR, whether they've had any other vaccinations. I have been asked my vax status a few times now, and tbh it has felt intrusive - want to know what that rash is, too?

Swipe left for the next trending thread