I can’t get out of bed

[fireflylanegirls]

I feel like my life is over. I literally couldn’t get out of bed this morning, the way I feel is just too bad.

I spent over a year worrying about Covid, not just worrying, obsessing.
Panic attacks, sleepless nights, I couldn’t focus on my family life, couldn’t concentrate because of the worry.

I was finally vaccinated and although initially I didn’t feel any better, within a few weeks i started to feel so much happier.

Then the shit news comes about the clots from the vaccine.

I feel absolutely numb. I’ve spent the last 24hours just crying. I wish I’d never had the vaccine now.
It’s been 4 weeks and I’m such a nervous wreck.

My husband has had to drop our son at my mother in laws today because I’m in no fit state to look after him.

I’ve called my GP and have been told to increase my Sertraline to 100mg.

I absolutely hate living with this fear.

I knew this vaccine was too good to be true 😩

Gosh, I’m not sure where to start, can you start by reading up on the vaccine and understanding you’re likely now at no risk at all as it’s been a month and that any risk you were at was so so tiny?

Have you upped your medication? Maybe you need to speak to your doctor again as this is not really about Covid or the vaccine but your mental health.💐

It's been 4 weeks. Any side effects would have happened now. Were you this anxious when pregnant as the risk of blood clots were significantly higher and we all still have babies without a second though (or too much of one).

The risk of clots from the vaccine is small. So much smaller than the risk of clots in Covid.

@Bluntness100

Gosh, I’m not sure where to start, can you start by reading up on the vaccine and understanding you’re likely now at no risk at all as it’s been a month and that any risk you were at was so so tiny?

Have you upped your medication? Maybe you need to speak to your doctor again as this is not really about Covid or the vaccine but your mental health.💐

@Bluntness100

I’ve spoken to the Dr this morning. I’ve increased to 100mg which I need to do from tomorrow (I’ve already taken my 50mg for today)

OP, I'm really sorry you feel like this. I understand how crippling anxiety can be.

The thing is, you're out of the "danger zone" now for any clots, and the risk was very tiny in the first place. It's also very unlikely that you'll have an adverse reaction to the second jab, given that you have been ok after the first.

The problem here is not the vaccine, or any risks associated with it, but your mental health. It's good that you have spoken to your GP. Please keep following their advice.

@NerrSnerr

It's been 4 weeks. Any side effects would have happened now. Were you this anxious when pregnant as the risk of blood clots were significantly higher and we all still have babies without a second though (or too much of one).

The risk of clots from the vaccine is small. So much smaller than the risk of clots in Covid.

@NerrSnerr

No to be honest, I wasn’t.

I wasn’t even aware of the risk of clots when pregnant. 😧

I recognise your username from other threads. I honestly think you really really need to get more help than just the antidepressants at this point. Your working yourself up reading the news and catastrophising - you need to step away from the media and socials and start helping yourself. In the gentlest way possible your concerns are completely disproportionate to the risk.

What does your husband think? Can he call someone on your behalf so that he can advocate on your behalf? It might be time to think about calling the crisis line for some emergency care.

The thing is mental illness is not rational and you’re clearly very unwell indeed. So this isn’t about Covid or the vaccine, logically you’ll know your risk has passed and it was beyond tiny to start with, so you’ve now got great protection from Covid and in such a much better position and safer.

I’m not sure what any of us can do or say to help you, because this isn’t rational it’s about your illness and that can only come from properly qualified professionals who know your case history.

Please don’t worry💐

Firstly, the risk is very low - so low as almost not to exist - even if you are in the younger, affected, age group.

Secondly, it is now four weeks since you had the vaccination which takes you to the limit of the time when those very rare cases occurred.

Thirdly, if you hadn’t had the vaccine and had caught the virus, then you might have been more likely to get blood clots ( if you are not in the younger group).

What are you worried about? The statistical likelihood of you getting a clot because of the vaccine is absolutely minute. Any one of us is far more likely to be hit by a bus than get a clot because of the AZ vaccine, yet we all continue to happily leave the house as normal.

The problem with this news story is that generally, the human brain is incredibly bad at assessing risk. You should be relieved that you’ve had the vaccine, not feeling worse because of it - it was statistically far more likely that Covid presented a risk to you than that the vaccine did.

((HUGS)))

I have read a lot of your posts, I know you've really struggled 💐.

Let me TRY to put your mind at ease about the vaccination.

19 people out of 20 MILLION vaccinated have died. 1 per million.

Many more have died from clots who were not vaccinated.

1 in 10,000 is the usual acceptable rate for something considered a risk in vaccines/medicine

The age range of those 19 is 18-79.

You are more likely to die from a plane landing on your house.

There are higher risks from things like clots in the over the counter medicines we take without even thinking about it

But most importantly, you're WELL past the time frame in which these people died. Your body has now made antibodies against Covid without causing any issue. You have a high level of protection but you need your second dose so it lasts longer. No cause for alarm with the second injection.

Is there any other explanation/information that would help you right now?

💐

I’ve just glanced at your other threads, ans I think sylbunny has good advice. Can you get someone to advocate on your behalf? It does seem you need more than anti depressants and maybe the doctor hasn’t realise quite how ill you are?

I agree with Bluntness - I think you need to be speaking to the doctor again. What you have described is not something that happened today - it has been building and building for a year. SSRI's are a crutch - something to help you rebalance your brain chemistry. They are not a "cure", and I would be very concerned about your mental health given this prolonged period of serious depression.

People can reassure you about the vaccine - and honestly, the risk is very, very low and almost certainly in the past now anyway - but you aren't likely to hear it. Not in any meaningful way. A year of living like this is a year too long, and you obviously need more support than drug therapy.

Look at it this way. You’re much more likely to get a blood clot from Covid. You’re now protected against that and you’ve also passed the time frame for clots to appear. Hopefully that’s reassuring.

I hope when things open up you can get some help for your anxiety.

I’m not sure what any of us can do or say to help you, because this isn’t rational it’s about your illness and that can only come from properly qualified professionals who know your case history.

As someone who suffers from irrational anxiety myself, I completely agree. I also agree with the suggestion that an advocate of some sort might be helpful.

@WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants

Is there any other explanation/information that would help you right now?

It’s the worry of what if it happens to me?
I read that the majority of cases were in the first 14 days and up to 20 for the remainder.
I’m 27 days past vaccination, but what if my body is currently developing a clot.😫

What if I clot develops in months to come, because of the vaccine.

I feel like there’s so many worries I can’t stop them.

OP, you poor thing. It must be horrible to feel like this.

The biggest risk that you're facing right now is not covid, not the vaccine and not a blood clot. It is your mental health, which is impacting significantly on your ability to function in your day to day life. Please try to talk to your GP again and ask for more help. You should not have to live like this.

Anxiety is shit. Really feel for you.

Have you ever been on hormonal contraceptives? If so they hold a higher risk of clots than the vaccine.

You're past the 4 week risk period.

I know once anxiety strikes its hard to stop the thought process. Hope your medication will help you calm down a little and gain some relief that you're now vaccinated at now at lower risk of contracting Covid at anytime since this shitty pandemic hit us all.

I really think you need to get further help and support for your anxiety. Your response is extreme. I understand that what you are feeling feels very real and terrifying, but... You had the jab 4 weeks ago. If you were going to suffer an extreme side effect then it would have happened by now.

Pre-covid, did you suffer this level of anxiety in relation to other medications? Eg taking the pill? Or even simply being pregnant and the risk that carries of clots?

Op your body isn’t developing a clot from the vaccine right now.

I think maybe you should get your husband home and the two of you need to list the mental health issues you’re encountering, and then he can call the doctors and explain it, it seems a crisis team is likely necessary to help you now, mumsnet can’t do it.

From what I can see you’ve ceased being able to function, can’t look after your child, suffer from agoraphobia as you struggle to go out , you have diagnosed depression, severe anxiety and other things possibly like ocd with intrusive thoughts, irrational thoughts, and paranoia. No one here can diagnose you so you need someone to now advocate for you and get you the help you need, you don’t need to live like this, but need to seek proper help to aid you to recover, for your sake, your child sake and your families.

Just make that first step, is there someone to help you, can your husband do it, or your mum?

I really feel for you op.

Anxiety can be so debilitating. All of the uncertainty of the last year hasn't helped.

Have you spoke to your GP about getting some talking therapies to help? It may be that you can get this over the phone.

NHS are also offering something called Every Mind Matters, and I believe there may be some podcasts to help avoid unhelpful thoughts.

Are there any small, simple things that you can do today to take your mind off all of this and distract yourself from the worrying.

You are more likely to develop clots from the pill, a fall or flying. You are extremely unlikely to develop one more than three weeks on. But this is not really about coronavirus, vaccines, clots etc and never really has been. Your mh is suffering and you need to have treatment for it, this is just its current focus. Up the ads and have you had any cbt yet?

@CherryJane

Anxiety is shit. Really feel for you.

Have you ever been on hormonal contraceptives? If so they hold a higher risk of clots than the vaccine.

You're past the 4 week risk period.

I know once anxiety strikes its hard to stop the thought process. Hope your medication will help you calm down a little and gain some relief that you're now vaccinated at now at lower risk of contracting Covid at anytime since this shitty pandemic hit us all.

@CherryJane

I’m not past 4 weeks. It will be 4 weeks tomorrow.

Op, I agree with the other posters.
I’ve also read some of your threads.
Please please call the doctor again, or get your husband too on your behalf.
You’ve been suffering for far too long.
Please get some more help op.

@LIZS

Up the ads and have you had any cbt yet?

I’ve been told to up them, I’m having weekly CBT.

@Chickenandegg8

Op, I agree with the other posters. I’ve also read some of your threads. Please please call the doctor again, or get your husband too on your behalf. You’ve been suffering for far too long. Please get some more help op.

@Chickenandegg8

I have called them this morning.
They have upped my dosage of Sertraline.