I can’t get out of bed

[fireflylanegirls]

I feel like my life is over. I literally couldn’t get out of bed this morning, the way I feel is just too bad.

I spent over a year worrying about Covid, not just worrying, obsessing.
Panic attacks, sleepless nights, I couldn’t focus on my family life, couldn’t concentrate because of the worry.

I was finally vaccinated and although initially I didn’t feel any better, within a few weeks i started to feel so much happier.

Then the shit news comes about the clots from the vaccine.

I feel absolutely numb. I’ve spent the last 24hours just crying. I wish I’d never had the vaccine now.
It’s been 4 weeks and I’m such a nervous wreck.

My husband has had to drop our son at my mother in laws today because I’m in no fit state to look after him.

I’ve called my GP and have been told to increase my Sertraline to 100mg.

I absolutely hate living with this fear.

I knew this vaccine was too good to be true 😩

Did you give this some thought - from your other thread? A poster wrote:

There is someone called Nicole Sachs who sells a programme on managing anxiety. Although it's a private programme it's one of the best things I've ever done. It's helped me so much, even if I still struggle with worry occasionally. You're suffering so much, I highly recommend you look at it. It's not a long programme but some of it is incredible in how she helps you switch the worst of your fears off.

You should come off here now and start researching options for treatment and therapy. Or ask your partner to do it if you can't face it. There were a lot of good suggestions from posters in your thread from the other day. Starting more threads on Covid or vaccines will not help you. It's just reassurance seeking. You know that right?

There is masses of free information and reading and a course you can do on the No More Panic website. If you devote all the time you currently spend reading about Covid to reading about recovery from health anxiety you will start to improve from where you are now. I promise you. I've been there.

@bambootle

Yes I do, but this isn’t just Health Anxiety though is it.

I’m not just worrying about an illness.

There’s a real risk of me developing a clot from vaccine. It might be 4 in a million, but someone has to be those 4 people!

No it IS HEALTH ANXIETY. That's what this is. You're no different from the people with HA who end up obsessing about brain eating amoebas in water. I am serious. That is you right now. In the time you spent just now writing a paragraph about why you are justified in worry about this you could have researched an online therapist. You just said you have the financial resources. No one can help you if you won't commit to it though.

[quote bambootle]**@bambootle

Yes I do, but this isn’t just Health Anxiety though is it.

I’m not just worrying about an illness.

There’s a real risk of me developing a clot from vaccine. It might be 4 in a million, but someone has to be those 4 people!

No it IS HEALTH ANXIETY. That's what this is. You're no different from the people with HA who end up obsessing about brain eating amoebas in water. I am serious. That is you right now. In the time you spent just now writing a paragraph about why you are justified in worry about this you could have researched an online therapist. You just said you have the financial resources. No one can help you if you won't commit to it though.[/quote]
@bambootle

I’m having therapy on the NHS, weekly.

OP 4 in one million is not a real risk of anything .

At all, no way, no how. It's very bad health anxiety though

However as I and others have said - you won't believe this because your anxiety is doing the talking.

You really need to stay off this board and you need to get some serious help now. You may not be suicidal which obviously, is great, but this is no way to live.

I’m laid in bed sobbing because all I can think about is I’m going to die from a blood clot.

At the risk of making your anxiety worse, but it is 3:30 pm that you have posted this, and you haven't got up all day. That is a risk of blood clots on its own!

What people are trying to tell you here is that the level of fear you are having and the impact it is having on you are beyond the minimal help that you are getting. It isn't helping you because if it were you wouldn't be here, now, writing this. Even you know, although you cannot control it, that your level of fear and intrusive thoughts is well beyond what is normal or reasonable, and far beyond the actual risk here.

People are deeply worried about you. They care. But all they can do is tell you that you need more than upping your meds, or even whatever CBT you are having weekly, because your state of fear is deeply irrational and you need more help. There is nothing wrong with that. But you do need it.

Regrettably, many in the medical profession are of the opinion that women just need some anti-depressants. Far, far too many of them are prescribed long term, without having any impact (or minimal impact), which simply doesn't happen for men. Anti-depressants play a role in helping people, but they aren't the answer. You know this. You know it because you have been taking them. And long term anti-depressant use is not good for you.

There is a difference between asking your doctor for help yourself and having an advocate. Advocates are trained to help you dig deep into how bad things are, and make sure that you are supported in both exploring those issues with medical professionals and getting the support that you need. Needing an advocate isn't a sign of weakness. It is a tool to help you get the support you need.

I’m having therapy on the NHS, weekly.

With the greatest of respect. It is not working!

@Moondust001

I’m having therapy on the NHS, weekly.

With the greatest of respect. It is not working!

You truly need to call the crisis team.

None of those 4 in 1 million developed a clot later than 20 days after vaccination.

You are one of the 999,996 in 1 million who is absolutely fine. You have significantly reduced any risk of clotting by having the vaccine and not getting a reaction. You were much more likely to get clots from covid.

OP, think of it like this. Imagine you went to a popular museum one day. A million people go to that museum during the year. During the year, 4 people fall down a dangerous staircase in the museum. Now, you walked down those stairs on your visit but you were fine, as were 999,996 other visitors. Would you be lying in bed unable to get up because you walked down the stairs during your visit, not realizing they were dangerous, but didn't fall?

OP I’m sorry if this doesn’t come across the way I intend, but you are aware that your body could create a clot anytime, vaccine or not? Also there’s more chance of a clot with Covid than the vaccine. The vaccine is a good, good thing. Honestly

There’s a real risk of me developing a clot from vaccine. It might be 4 in a million, but someone has to be those 4 people

I think at this late stage it’s much much less. You’re really really not at risk.

What I mean is you’re not taking on board what we are saying as you’re so consumed by your health anxiety, you think your thoughts reflect reality.

you’re not taking it on board when you’re told you need much more than an increased dose of your ads, and a call from your doctor in a week. You do need someone to advocate for you now.

I hope you have good people round you who can step in and help you if you’re not going to do more. Maybe ask your husband or mum to read this thread? Maybe they can reach out to your gp on your behalf and potentially get the crisis team involved. You’re no longer able to function normally or capable of rational thought from what you’re saying.

You have a baby, a family, your illness has now got you in bed crying constantly unable to leave the house, unable to care for your baby and consumed by irrational thoughts and fears.

You need to get more help and if you can’t then someone else needs to do it for you.

I don't think you really believe this is anxiety do you OP? Until you understand that you are feeling like this because of anxiety and not because of a justifiable risk, you are not going to get better. You need to help yourself and take those first steps to understanding you feel like this because of your anxiety and not because the risk is real.

I'll ask again but what do those close to you think? Husband etc? Are they enabling you or telling you it's anxiety?

Op are you in england? Here is the link to get the number to call for the urgent care line.

www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-urgent-mental-health-helpline

I think you'd do well to stop obsessing over your own body and what might happen/might not happen and focus instead on your DC.

Getting to the point where you are prone in bed afraid to get up and look after your DC is not good for anyone.

If media coverage hadn't been 24/7 then you would not have given one thought to Covid or clots.

I don't mean to be unsympathetic, but you need to get yourself straight for your family and also for your future.

None of us know what is around the corner, or what illness we will develop. That is part of life.

@sylbunny

I don't think you really believe this is anxiety do you OP? Until you understand that you are feeling like this because of anxiety and not because of a justifiable risk, you are not going to get better. You need to help yourself and take those first steps to understanding you feel like this because of your anxiety and not because the risk is real.

I'll ask again but what do those close to you think? Husband etc? Are they enabling you or telling you it's anxiety?

@sylbunny

I know I’m anxious, but I feel I’m anxious for a justifiable reason.
I’ve had a vaccine and i could die from a reaction.

I have tried today to get up, but I just can’t.
My husband and son are on their way home now too.

I feel like I’m just sat waiting for the clot to happen. It’s miserable.

Op just call the mental health emergency line. You are not anxious for a justifiable reason. You are not going to die from the vaccine. This is your mental illness talking.

Is posting here repeatedly helping you in any way OP?

I have health anxiety and sympathise, honestly I do, but you seem to just be purposefully making yourself worse with all the news reading etc. I'm purposefully avoiding it all because I know it's not worth the anxiety.

You need to reprogramme your brain. What CBT techniques do you have and how can you use them right now?

Also you CAN get out of bed, whatever you are telling yourself. Split it into tiny steps at a time. Sit up. Stretch. Put legs on floor for a few minutes. Stand. Move. Take control of your thoughts and push back at them. Tell them you're not listening.

Partly because (as a pp said) people are much more likely to get clots from not moving and partly because movement and exercise will help with the anxiety.

@zzizzer

Is posting here repeatedly helping you in any way OP?

I have health anxiety and sympathise, honestly I do, but you seem to just be purposefully making yourself worse with all the news reading etc. I'm purposefully avoiding it all because I know it's not worth the anxiety.

You need to reprogramme your brain. What CBT techniques do you have and how can you use them right now?

@zzizzer

It’s someone to tell how I’m feeling.

OP - you're more at risk from what this level of anxiety will do to your body.

You're at NO risk from a clot. The vaccine is now out your body. It's gone.

Please call the crisis line.

But is it helping to "tell" a bunch of people online OP?

It doesn't seem to be judging by the thread, plus it's risky - it would be very easy for someone to troll or upset you.

It's better to push for real life help from the crisis team etc and to start properly tackling this - so that's not just swallowing pills anymore, but challenging the thoughts in your head; distracting yourself when possible, really really work at it.

It is difficult. I know it's hard. I've battled it myself my whole life but you have to learn to deal with this panic, because there's no alternative. Exercise helps, a good diet too.

Have you made yourself get out of the bed yet? Even for a minute?

Keep fighting the thoughts, keep telling your brain it's wrong, you're okay. Take slow deep breaths. What about a game on your phone to distract yourself?

You've panicked like this so many times before, you can get through this too.

How many threads are you going to start and ignore the advice on?

I feel for you OP, I really do. Health anxiety is awful and debilitating.

You do need treatment but in the meantime we're here to support you.

You had the vaccine - hurray!
You are past the 28 day (extraordinarily low-risk of clots) time period - great news
You are MUCH less likely to get Covid now - brilliant.
You will not die from Covid now you are vaccinated - good.

Take a deep breath, you are still here and you are doing all you can to protect yourself. We're with you.

There's no point posters keep reassuring OP with statistics and how minimal the risk is. She cannot help her irrational thoughts.

OP, get hold of your GP again , tell him how bad you are feeling.

(((HUG))).

I don't know what else to say that hasn't been said. I just wish I could talk to you, in person, face to face.

You are anxious and you feel there's a good cause for it. You don't think that this is 'just' Health Anxiety.

But lovely, that's what anxiety does to you, it makes you think your thoughts aren't the anxiety talking. It's a devious little bastard.

I agree that any of us could be one if the 4 in a million who have an 'event' after the CL vaccine or THE one who dies from a clot. You are right. However, you are 27 days post vaccination - you haven't been suffering chronic headaches or extreme nausea you are NOT going to die from this incredibly rare clot. You are NOT.

Are your lovely boys home yet?

What you need to do this afternoon, is at least potter about the house, get your blood circulating. Not because of the rare type of clot these people had, but because of the very ordinary clots people get every day. Just potter about, put a wash in, tidy up DS's toys, take some rubbish out to the outside bin,

I mean much better still you & DH take DS to the park. I know it's trite, but Fresh Air REALLY does help with anxiety - even if it's just standing in the garden or at the front door.

Play with DS/watch some kids TV with him/get DH to make/order something nice for dinner & look forward a movie you'll enjoy or play a game if he's up for that once DS is in bed.

I know it's hard to shift your focus into kids/tv/food when you're in that space, but if you can make yourself then you'll feel a LOT better for it.