Anyone agree? Re. Children in lockdown

[Sorehandsandfeet]

Now, I am aware that I am not speaking for everyone but I have spoken to a few people who have the same opinion. Before I get flamed, I understand that there are those living below the poverty line that don't have the resources for this lifestyle. I also know that there are some children who are not in the position to fully access education in lockdown due to poverty or neglect. However, I do think this applies to many.
Before lockdown many children had very busy lives with very little down time. After school there were all the extra curriculars,such as dancing, music, sports etc. Then there were the weekend competitions, matches etc. Alot of children I know pretty much had school, activity, dinner, homework and bed. Weekends were busy. Not only that but they were expected to excel academically also.
In my personal opinion, this high stress lifestyle was as damaging to the mental health of this generation as the lack of formal school is now.
Some children are finally being allowed to chill out at home with their families. Let's not be naive, most older children/ teens are still in contact with their friends via devices. Most are receiving 'some' education. I know it is substandard compared to being in class but it is still going ahead. Parents who wfh now have more time without all the running, ferrying children from one activity to another and stress of having to fit everything in. In some ways some children may have improved mental health/self esteem without all the pressure and competition.

It's damaging my child in the sense she has socialisation difficulties and she needs to be with kids her own age ,but due to this she's happier than ever because she's not being forced to mingle .
Her school have provided excellent work to do at home throughout and she's made huge progress educationally having me on hand to explain things to her but she is going to really struggle going back which is so sad to think about 😫

Have never done after school activities, and extra things as never had the extra funds.

One child was home schooled anyway, and the youngest we've delayed school start with all this going on. Eldest at college.

In terms of things to do, this half term is no different for us. I work full time (education) and also we run a business from home so used to being at home. It's bloody freezing anyway.

I have no friends and DH and I don't have any family, so for us, lockdown hasn't been that bad. Of course, it makes me realise that we have no one and often nothing on a weekend except a walk in the park (in normal times), so we've not seen a lot of changes for us as a family and what we do.

However, it doesn't mean I don't understand how difficult it is for people who do go out and want to go out, and how after school clubs are looked forward to and enjoyed, how people are missing friends and their families.

None of this has been easy. However, as colleague did say at work that her kids have been happy that they've seen her more (even though she's been working throughout) as on the weekends, she's not rushing around organising to go out all the time.

So there's a balance isn't there, it isn't either/or. I think after this, we might actually go out more! And others might choose to do less. As long as the person involved is happy, we should accept we're all different and being indoors might be heaven to some, and hell for others.

It would be nice if there are some positive changes to come out of this, whatever they might be.

I agree to an extent.
My children have key worker spaces in school and I’m busier than ever at work.
Previously they would have done 2 sets of swimming, gymnastics, Cubs and Beavers, tutoring and tennis. So 7 extra things to fit in.
Now they just do online Cubs and beavers.
One of my children has gained weight in lockdown though. I’ll see if we can tackle that with bike rides in the summer.
They do miss swimming and tennis but I’m going to think carefully about the balance.
I might make school holidays more times to just hang around rather than planning lots of days out.

@poshme

I find it very odd that anyone thinks that wfh parents have more time!

I'm doing the same (if not more) hours doing my job, and also trying to keep my kids doing their schoolwork.

Where does 'more time' come from?

My kids are not benefitting at all from lockdown. They are far more sedentary and I am worried about their physical and mental health. They need to socialise with their peers.

I want kids back at school ASAP

I think the "more time" comes from avoiding commuting. Many many people do 1 hour each way. That is a lot of time!

Totally agree, OP. But people won't care about that much as they just want the kids off their hands.

My DD has kept up with her extra curricular activities, but on zoom. They're better than nothing but not the same. She's missing simple things like hugging her friends and feeling relaxed in shops.
Not missing the school run though! Especially this year. Lots of snow where we live.

"Totally agree, OP. But people won't care about that much as they just want the kids off their hands."

What a horrible thing to think.

Of course some people need their kids in school so they can work and ffs that is incredibly reasonable! Tbh I don't think the sausage machine of achievement-driven education we currently have in the UK is all that, but being at school, or whatever extra-curricular stuff you like is about being part of a community. And we all need that.

In the first lockdown, we were spending the 6 hours a day that our DS would normally have in school with him. At Y2 he couldn’t do any work at all without 1-2-1 supervision.

I commute an hour each way and the time gained back from not commuting in no way covered the additional time spent with my child.

Now they are doing 6 hours (school day timetable from home) with very specific teams logins, which also need to be supervised.

So for working parents with younger children there is a choice:
Either your child does way less than they were before and you have to leave them in front of the TV. Or, you now have 6 hours added onto your usual day job.

Ahmnotacat

Totally agree, OP. But people won't care about that much as they just want the kids off their hands.

I find that a really despicable comment.
Can you really not put yourself in other’s shoes??

This pandemic has revealed and enhanced many many divides in society. Rich-poor, SEN-NT, Healthy-vulnerable, two parents-single parent household, working parents-SAHP.

The lockdowns are completely different worlds depending on these and many other issues.

I think it hugely depends on the age of the child, the reasons for the extra activities, and partly, whether they have had any sibling or other family company in lockdown too. From the 'reasons for the extra activities', the ferrying around and so on, in the case of our family this has almost always been needed for extended childcare to fit with 2 working parents' hours when primary school hours wouldn't. The option of also having help from GPs used to be there - it's not going to be for the near future now. That said, most of the time the DC activities provide a more social setting, in my opinion, than the classroom does.

I think it can be high stress (can need a mature approach to your energy and organisation for all involved) - but really the stress contributions are there from the parents' work obligations and not just from the child's age group, and that's mostly not gone away with lockdown, it has just blurred boundaries between work, time away from family, and time as a family.

Disagree. My kids miss their sport activities. Although it's nice to have a bit of down time and not be ferrying them around given the chance I'd rather be taking them.

Slow down has definitely suited my family, one dc in particular was very difficult to get in and out of cars, schools etc.
I hope she's going to be more mature by the time she goes back and easier to manage. She's loved lock down, chats to pals every day, does what she wants and we squeeze school work in where we can.

DC were hardly over run with activities after school, they only did judo once a week. They do miss it.

I agree.
My kids have been playing one really complex ongoing pretend game for several months now. They do it every morning while I work. Toy Land is at war with Unicorn Land apparently.
Then they do a little bit of school work and go outside to play with their pals (this is allowed where we are)
Its the life of Riley

Totally agree, OP. But people won't care about that much as they just want the kids off their hands.

There’s always one who can’t conceive that other parents might actually be trying to put their kids first, just in a different way to them, and that parents may not love the activities themselves. Trying to understand other people isn’t as much fun as the warm glow you get from denigrating others.

Selfishly, I’d much prefer to have kids who did nothing out of schools hours. It’s a faff and a ball ache.

But I’m not a selfish twat and can see how their chosen activities enhance their lives. The last year has really driven home that lack.

So I suck up the inconvenience and the time carved out of my (usually scarce) time with them. Because I love them.

So I suck up the inconvenience and the time carved out of my (usually scarce) time with them. Because I love them

Love this, you LOVE your kids and no one else LOVES theirs.

My son is hypermobile he finds it physically painful to exercise which he needs to do swimming was brilliant for this all gain no pain this stopped a year ago he is now worse and in more pain when he walks

Love this, you LOVE your kids and no one else LOVES theirs.

No, sweetie. That’s not what any of those words say.

My response was a direct response to a poster suggesting that people whose kids did activities before was because they wanted time away from the little darlings - the clue was the bit in italics.

Most people do what they think is best for their kids. Kids are all individuals and will benefit from different things. Me saying that only people whose kids do a fair few activities love their kids would be as daft as the idiotic post I quoted saying that people only do it because they don’t like being with their kids.

For example, I don’t particularly love spending two hours on the edge of a swimming pool every week, trying to entertain one child while the other is in the pool and then swapping. I certainly don’t do it because I get a huge amount of downtime or time away from my kids out of it. They like it, swimming is a good life skill, so I do the thing that is personally irritating for me because it’s in the best interests of my individual children.

@JassyRadlett

Love this, you LOVE your kids and no one else LOVES theirs.

No, sweetie. That’s not what any of those words say.

My response was a direct response to a poster suggesting that people whose kids did activities before was because they wanted time away from the little darlings - the clue was the bit in italics.

Most people do what they think is best for their kids. Kids are all individuals and will benefit from different things. Me saying that only people whose kids do a fair few activities love their kids would be as daft as the idiotic post I quoted saying that people only do it because they don’t like being with their kids.

For example, I don’t particularly love spending two hours on the edge of a swimming pool every week, trying to entertain one child while the other is in the pool and then swapping. I certainly don’t do it because I get a huge amount of downtime or time away from my kids out of it. They like it, swimming is a good life skill, so I do the thing that is personally irritating for me because it’s in the best interests of my individual children.

Oh hun, you are such an amazing parent.

Oh hun, you are such an amazing parent.

Nope. I’m bog average.

I wonder why my response to another poster has bothered you so much.

@JassyRadlett

Oh hun, you are such an amazing parent.

Nope. I’m bog average.

I wonder why my response to another poster has bothered you so much.

I think it’s the sanctimony.

Ah. Apologies for the first one, it wasn’t my intent. As I say, it was a direct response to another poster who’d been quite rude. I was just trying to point out that for a lot of parents, activities don’t involve a whole lot of getting the kids ‘off their hands’.

I was going for condescension with the second post after your open misrepresentation and tedious hyperbole, but I obviously missed the mark. Ah well.

@JassyRadlett

Ah. Apologies for the first one, it wasn’t my intent. As I say, it was a direct response to another poster who’d been quite rude. I was just trying to point out that for a lot of parents, activities don’t involve a whole lot of getting the kids ‘off their hands’.

I was going for condescension with the second post after your open misrepresentation and tedious hyperbole, but I obviously missed the mark. Ah well.

Looks like you missed the mark on sarcasm too. Not to worry. Those pesky idiots who don’t love their kids will understand.

I think there is a difference between a healthy balance of school/ activities and home and the other extreme of spending all day in front of a screen on google classroom. I won't lie, I relished the downtime in the first lockdown as did my DC. The weather was better, we were outside more and we really made the most of doing the things at home like baking and gardening that we never have time to do. I also think that teen DD was glad to step away from the pressure cooker of girl friendships and constant arguments. However, this is not life nor is it healthy mentally, socially, academically or physically. I hope we return to some kind of normality as soon as it is safe to do so.

Totally agree. Children need time off and also need to be bored. Some never are.