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Original poster

Anyone agree? Re. Children in lockdown

214 replies

Sorehandsandfeet · 14/02/2021 16:45

Now, I am aware that I am not speaking for everyone but I have spoken to a few people who have the same opinion. Before I get flamed, I understand that there are those living below the poverty line that don't have the resources for this lifestyle. I also know that there are some children who are not in the position to fully access education in lockdown due to poverty or neglect. However, I do think this applies to many.
Before lockdown many children had very busy lives with very little down time. After school there were all the extra curriculars,such as dancing, music, sports etc. Then there were the weekend competitions, matches etc. Alot of children I know pretty much had school, activity, dinner, homework and bed. Weekends were busy. Not only that but they were expected to excel academically also.
In my personal opinion, this high stress lifestyle was as damaging to the mental health of this generation as the lack of formal school is now.
Some children are finally being allowed to chill out at home with their families. Let's not be naive, most older children/ teens are still in contact with their friends via devices. Most are receiving 'some' education. I know it is substandard compared to being in class but it is still going ahead. Parents who wfh now have more time without all the running, ferrying children from one activity to another and stress of having to fit everything in. In some ways some children may have improved mental health/self esteem without all the pressure and competition.

OP posts:
MargosKaftan · 14/02/2021 17:31

I suppose it comes down to if you really only took your dcs to clubs they enjoyed, or if you signed them up to "improving" activities they have no interest in and don't like.

I hear of the pushy parents who do the latter, but I've never met one. The children my kids are in groups with all seem to be enjoying the clubs they do and actively ask to do them.

My dcs school day finishes at 3:20pm, I usually would have them in the bath at 7:30/8. Most clubs or activities after school are 30mins to 1 hour, even if they did one a night, and one each at the weekend, that's still plenty of family time. (And we don't know many who do something every night)

Gobbeldegook · 14/02/2021 17:33

Were you born yesterday 😂

WatchWatch · 14/02/2021 17:33

I suppose it comes down to if you really only took your dcs to clubs they enjoyed

We thought we did, but the only one he misses is swimming.

BungleandGeorge · 14/02/2021 17:34

I agree with the point made by others about homeschooling. I honestly believe one of mine would be much happier homeschooling long term. It’s the lack of social interaction that is the problem. Whilst younger children may be happy to spend a lot of time with parents it’s very normal that this changes as they get older and friends become vital

WatchWatch · 14/02/2021 17:36

Also, I'm only talking on a personal level about my 2 young kids. I've got friends whose older kids are really struggling. I'm not sure about their same age friends, none of them have mentioned it but I imagine they wouldn't necessarily. One or 2 have said their kids are enjoying the increased family time.

We are lucky though that my job is shift based so we work around each other, rather than trying to work and do the child care (I'm in a hospital do that would be impossible).

SylviaPlath1984 · 14/02/2021 17:36

Disagree entirely!

My daughter had swimming, horse riding, tennis along with activities with friends like play centres or cinema afternoons after school. She is absolutely bored rigid and so lonely now!!! She's desperate to be busy again, we all are.

VaVaGloom · 14/02/2021 17:36

Also they are missing the lovely things from childhood such as the Valentines disco and the school fete. One of my DC has become too old for the local childrens gym so will never get to go there again. They missed the end of primary school production, the shirt signing, the leavers party. I'd rather we had busy full lives that filled their childhoods with experiences and memories & I am quite a homebody! I sometimes did get fed up with running them to activities previously but nothing will give me greater pleasure than watching them go back to activities and come out smiling! I can't wait for them to spend time with friends (and in the case of my Yr7 establish new friendships). Same with family & friends ours are scattered around the country and sometimes it felt a big trek to see them - I will happily sit in traffic to reunite my children with their extended family!

MargosKaftan · 14/02/2021 17:37

Well OP, if it helps you reassess, that's good. Perhaps look at what activities your dcs really enjoyed or if there were skills it is important to you that they learn (like swimming). Then cut out all others.

We never did the activity each night thing, but then it could get stressful if say, the only thing each child wanted to do happened to be on a Saturday morning with a 30 minute gap between each and a 25 minute drive, and which one do you say no to, or do you just have a stressful time getting between if the traffic is bad and a DH that has to work so can't take the other one... (I had a 6 week period of that one that sadly coincided with dh having to work most weekends).

SnowyBranches · 14/02/2021 17:38

I also disagree. Pre lockdown my kids had - older one - Scouts once a week, cyclocross sporadically at weekends in the winter and track racing once a week in the summer, and the occasional school Rugby match at the weekend in winter. He is in contact with some friends online, but not all and not the same friends as go to those activities and he desperately misses the cycling and Rugby, Scouts is continuing on Zoom. He is bored and sad and wants to be out doing things with his friends.
The younger one had Cubs and cycling, Cubs is continuing. He has been able to see his friends a bit more so isn’t so bad. But I am pretty sure he was not over scheduled in any way.

VaVaGloom · 14/02/2021 17:40

This is the third school holiday we have done nothing but spend family time at home - a bit of variety to baking and walking would be welcome, my kids would love to do an activity scheme this week!

Londonmummy66 · 14/02/2021 17:41

My DC have had more than 100 opportunities cancelled - orchestra tours abroad, residencies, concerts, etc. Also they have not seen their friends from extra curricular activities since March - these are the friends who share their interests rather than the ones at school who are in to other things.

Also, being stuck at home and not seeing others is really damaging for their MH - contact via phone really only goes so far.

ItisLikethis · 14/02/2021 17:42

I agree re hectic schedules pre Covid and family time.

However, children are MAJORLY missing out on social interaction with their peers, cultural and community activities, life skills such as swimming and playing sports, family gatherings, holidays and days out in nature or at places of interest, concerts and sporting events, trips to the seaside and forests.... etc, etc...

Online interaction IS NOT the same as real life experiences that help to shape children to grow into well adjusted adults. Down time and family closeness can only take children so far. Sooner or later restrictions will (already are?!) limit their development.

andannabegins · 14/02/2021 17:44

My DD is in Y11 and her dancing was the only thing keeping her going mentally. She is struggling without that out let now. It's not good to not have their activities

MillieEpple · 14/02/2021 17:44

Interestingly, the school im a governor in said the main thing children in their setting were struggling with was stamina. They just got out the pace of learning. They didnt find them particulaly behind or mentally struggling. The just lacked stamina to keep going. I wonder how it will be now.

For the record we have missed the extra curriculas more than school and cant wait to start again.

Januaryissodull · 14/02/2021 17:46

Disagree I'm afraid. My dc very much enjoyed their activities and are missing them so much.

They also really miss the opportunity of days out and seeing their extended family.

We always kept a couple of nights free to relax and would have the odd quiet weekend plus plenty of time in the school holidays.

They definitely weren't stressed out with their regular lives.

Ginandtonic1234 · 14/02/2021 17:51

It was nice to have a bit of down time last year and useful to see that we don’t need to be busy all the time but now we are all bored and fed up. My daughter needs to get back to all her dance lessons - she hates doing it over Zoom and really misses being with the other children. Plus her fitness has really suffered. Our son is only 3 so he has never done any extra curricular activities. I want to start him on swimming and football. I’d prefer to go back to being busier for all of us.

Wnikat · 14/02/2021 17:54

No. No. We do not have more time. Because we are trying to home school and work at the same time. It is not possible. Many people are going over the edge. No.

baroqueandblue · 14/02/2021 17:56

Another post from the backward looking "Ban Real Life Forever" political party. So transparent, all this gauging of public opinion to see how many people think we should have a cheap future public economy based on next to no offline activity and the internet of nothing.

And if that wasn't your intention OP, stop giving people ideas. The future looks bleak enough as it is!

RigaBalsam · 14/02/2021 17:58

I totally agree OP.

stargirl1701 · 14/02/2021 17:58

It was nice to have so little to do after school last Spring when the weather was glorious.

Winter with no indoor activities is pretty awful. Thank goodness we finally got some snow recently. My DC are definitely missing Beavers/Rainbows, swimming, horse riding and most of all, the library!

GoldenOmber · 14/02/2021 18:01

@Wnikat

No. No. We do not have more time. Because we are trying to home school and work at the same time. It is not possible. Many people are going over the edge. No.
Yes, I am absolutely baffled to hear that working parents have more time and less stress now. Glad to hear that someone has managed to pull that off, but HOW? Older children? Very part-time/flexible jobs? I have never been this stressed and busy in my life.
OliveTree75 · 14/02/2021 18:05

Disagree as well. Whilst I didn't enjoy standing on a cold football pitch or by the pool my kids loved their activities. Having fun, making friends and good exercise

Peanutbuttercupisyum · 14/02/2021 18:06

Don’t know if they’ve actually benefitted from lockdown (they did love swimming, cubs, going to museums and out for hot chocolates and stuff at the weekend) BUT mine are absolutely fine! Dog walks daily, lots of crafty stuff, barbies galore etc. However, I think we are v lucky in that I have 3 children, all girls, all extremely close in age. So, bar some fighting, it is basically an extended play date.AND I don’t have to work which takes the stress out. For working parents, and only children though it must be very hard.

Original poster
Sorehandsandfeet · 14/02/2021 18:08

Thank you all. My children have missed some things too. My son had started rehearsing for a play and was loving it, now we don't know when, if ever, it will go ahead. I also feel that it is sad that children have missed out on their 'rites of passage' such as trips, discos etc
In my op I clumsily tried to make it clear that it was not all children but just something I and a few friends had expressed.
I suppose this thread has made me have a good think. My children are autistic, as am I, and have not always enjoyed the social or stressful whirl of activity. I often felt that I should provide more opportunities for socialisation and making friends. Also, for exercise and movement. Now I am seeing that we are all a little more relaxed and there is just a little less of stress now. When friends said they felt the same I thought it may have been a more universal opinion. I see that I may have been very narrow in my view. So I agree that there is a middle ground and when things hopefully go back I will keep them doing the activities they enjoy most and drop the rest. Have a more balanced life.

OP posts:
RigaBalsam · 14/02/2021 18:08

@baroqueandblue

Another post from the backward looking "Ban Real Life Forever" political party. So transparent, all this gauging of public opinion to see how many people think we should have a cheap future public economy based on next to no offline activity and the internet of nothing.

And if that wasn't your intention OP, stop giving people ideas. The future looks bleak enough as it is!

This is not what Op was saying at all.Hmm
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