Anyone agree? Re. Children in lockdown

[Sorehandsandfeet]

Now, I am aware that I am not speaking for everyone but I have spoken to a few people who have the same opinion. Before I get flamed, I understand that there are those living below the poverty line that don't have the resources for this lifestyle. I also know that there are some children who are not in the position to fully access education in lockdown due to poverty or neglect. However, I do think this applies to many.
Before lockdown many children had very busy lives with very little down time. After school there were all the extra curriculars,such as dancing, music, sports etc. Then there were the weekend competitions, matches etc. Alot of children I know pretty much had school, activity, dinner, homework and bed. Weekends were busy. Not only that but they were expected to excel academically also.
In my personal opinion, this high stress lifestyle was as damaging to the mental health of this generation as the lack of formal school is now.
Some children are finally being allowed to chill out at home with their families. Let's not be naive, most older children/ teens are still in contact with their friends via devices. Most are receiving 'some' education. I know it is substandard compared to being in class but it is still going ahead. Parents who wfh now have more time without all the running, ferrying children from one activity to another and stress of having to fit everything in. In some ways some children may have improved mental health/self esteem without all the pressure and competition.

Why do you think child abuse reports were down when schools were closed? A local service didn't have a single report during lockdown 1 and I'm in a large city. They were then inundated when schools reopened. Turns out shutting children in with abusers only works for government stats.

This thread, like many other conclusions made by lay people, shows the danger of making simplistic sweeping assumptions.
Life operates in shades of grey and plenty of differing experiences for people do exist.

That’s why it’s important to keep your horizons open.

[quote VaVaGloom]**@DayBath* I think many children are thriving away from social pressures to dress and look the right way and also away from school bullies. This isn't to say this situation suits every child, but those who felt a sinking feeling before going to school every morning must finally be able to concentrate on school work and actually flourish for a change*

Schools are woefully inadequate at dealing with bullying, I fear for the victims when they have to return. But hey, as long as the majority are alright then fuck them eh? That seems to be the general attitude anyway

Nobody has said that at all, bullying is an awful thing that needs dealing with. So what’s your alternative solution - fuck all the kids over? (And the parents having to oversee homeschooling?)[/quote]
Yes they did, there is a general assumption that all kids want to return and can't wait. Don't be deliberately dense in order to get a reaction, of course I'm not saying to keep schools shut for them, you'd have to be pretty dim to advocate that.

What I am saying is that schools should survey kids on return to find out which ones have mental health issues related to bullying and support them properly, with more investment in CAMHS alongside and the bullying needs to be dealt with properly. There needs to be some serious self reflection by schools leaders if there are children who have been off for months but are dreading going back.

Are you seriously telling me you want the government to continue to underfund children's mental health services and for schools to ignore bullying? You're quite the parent aren't you.

Agree - to an extent.

Your op was my son's life and it has been nice to live at a slower pace. I'm hoping he will drop one of the three sports he does to a high standard when lockdown ends so that there is a bit more downtime.

However, his social life is through these sports and he misses the friends he has through sport enormously.

@daybath I want the government to pursue policies that don't actively damage children.

No, absolutely not. The impact on my children has been immense and they are different people today- not in a good way. A year of disruption, lack of social interaction, lack of family contact, lack of schooling, lack of sports, fun, and any ability to plan for the future has taken its toll. We don't even know what the long-term consequences of this uncertainty are going to be.

I've always been aware of over scheduling kids downtime and have tried hard not to do it with my dc. Despite my efforts my eldest already does swimming, brownies, football and piano. Still plenty of time left for going to the park and chill time though.

The first lockdown benefitted us in terms of more time with family, less rushing around. But as a circuit breaker. It's gone on for too long now and their worlds are too small. It's good for dc to try new things and build their fitness and stamina as well as discover interests and abilities.

When normality returns we will be back to clubs in moderation, but also back to playing with their friends and one-off activities like trips to the trampoline park, the climbing wall or the outdoor obstacle course. Not everything has to be a pre-scheduled weekly activity.

@Daybath You posted the incendiary comment:
Schools are woefully inadequate at dealing with bullying, I fear for the victims when they have to return. But hey, as long as the majority are alright then fuck them eh? That seems to be the general attitude anyway

To which I replied:
Nobody has said that at all, bullying is an awful thing that needs dealing with

So I fail to understand the basis of your response to me:
Are you seriously telling me you want the government to continue to underfund children's mental health services and for schools to ignore bullying? You're quite the parent aren't you

No I am not seriously telling you that 'I want the Government to continue to underfund children's mental health services and for schools to ignore bullying' (please refer me to where I said that HINT - you won't find it anywhere because I have never and would never say that)

You then go on to insult me:
You're quite the parent aren't you

What a pleasant exchange.

God no. My kids (10 and 6) absolutely thrived with a busy life both at and outside school, mixing with other kids in person and doing lots of different things. Now they're bored, listless, angry, sad, and at each others throats constantly.

@Daybath What I am saying is that schools should survey kids on return to find out which ones have mental health issues related to bullying and support them properly, with more investment in CAMHS alongside and the bullying needs to be dealt with properly. There needs to be some serious self reflection by schools leaders if there are children who have been off for months but are dreading going back

I agree with this, and I'm sure most other posters do to. I think all children will need support in different ways to move forward from this and the impact will have been different for each of them (socially, educationally, emotionally)

Wow OP! First world problems! If your children are not enjoying the activities you're forcing on them then just stop!!! Find something they like. Or at least reduce activities.

Actually I used to do dance classes on mon wed fri and english (as a second language) on tue thu, horse riding sat morning. Never had problems of not having time to do other things or study or be with family.

I think many children are thriving away from social pressures to dress and look the right way and also away from school bullies. This isn't to say this situation suits every child, but those who felt a sinking feeling before going to school every morning must finally be able to concentrate on school work and actually flourish for a change

And herein lies the problem with the constant cries about how resilient children are.

You have literally just posted that children were not resilient enough to deal with the usual ups and downs of life including 'what to wear'.

Hiding them away from these everyday pressures is exactly what you shouldn't be doing. They need to be experiencing pressure to become resiient and healthy long-term. Being shut in a house is not good for any child.

Once again it is good to hear opinions on this thread. As I've said before, I suppose we can only speak from our own personal experiences and those others that we are in contact with. I'm now aware that I massively over generalised in my OP regarding those who wfh. I understand that not all have more time and, in fact have much more time pressure and stress. Although, some of us do in comparison to life as it was before. I suppose it also depends on the children themselves. My children have autism and therefore socially they do not possess the same social wants and skill as many do. Hence, I scheduled activities hoping to increase their social interactions and maybe widen their interests. However, in my community, I was not alone, many children I know have a similar lifestyle. There has been a mental health crisis in our youth for many years now. I totally agree that children's mental health services should be adequately funded and supported as a priority. Thank you all for your input, we all know our children best and shouldn't feel pressured into any kind of lifestyle that doesn't suit them. Fingers crossed we will soon be allowed to make that choice for ourselves.

We never did that over scheduling of spare time and the children were in private schools so most activities were at school. On balance in my view children are more damaged than helped by lockdown

I find it very odd that anyone thinks that wfh parents have more time!

I'm doing the same (if not more) hours doing my job, and also trying to keep my kids doing their schoolwork.

Where does 'more time' come from?

My kids are not benefitting at all from lockdown. They are far more sedentary and I am worried about their physical and mental health. They need to socialise with their peers.

I want kids back at school ASAP

Mine miss scouting hugely. Other clubs somewhat. We don't live a privileged life and the only do a couple of activities usually. I think I can understand where you are coming from though, I have often thought that some children don't have that essential down time.

Lockdown is not what anyone wants. However, we need to listen carefully to the scientific arguments for the best way to end lockdown (and not have another surge of infections, admissions, possibly more deaths).

I am sorry that children are often being used as a decoy in arguments to end lockdown early when there are likely to be other political / economic/ business interests in play.

It is better for everyone, including children, to manage the current situation safely and well. Without further waves of infection if possible.

I am sorry that children are often being used as a decoy in arguments to end lockdown early when there are likely to be other political / economic/ business interests in play.

yeah, nobody REALLY cares about the effects on children, it’s all just a cunning ruse

My children did 3 activities after school and weekends were free. They miss it and although we are trying to keep active at home it's not the same.
They have friends at their activities that they haven't spoken to since the summer in some cases.
They are desperate to go back to kickboxing and swimming especially. Even though they still walk to school and do PE their sleep isn't like it used to be and they're teenagers. Can imagine it'd be worse if they were younger.

poshme my DH has more time. He's really enjoyed working from home and having increased time with the kids. I'm still working out of the home, but not having to do the school run has been liberating.

I agree, OP. Too many children were timetabled to the nth degree - even the term ‘play date’ showed the problem. Hopefully, this will lead to a middle ground as restrictions are eased as obviously hobbies and activities are important too. Perhaps activities some evenings (but not every evening) and a day of ‘stuff’ at the weekend and a day of laziness, reading or playing on the computer? As you posted later, it is always up to a family and their child’s situation though.

@GoldenOmber

I am sorry that children are often being used as a decoy in arguments to end lockdown early when there are likely to be other political / economic/ business interests in play.

yeah, nobody REALLY cares about the effects on children, it’s all just a cunning ruse

oh, some people care very much. People care on either side though, both wanting kids in for various reasons and also wanting it organised properly and safely.

U4T - either a cunning ruse - or being used, I think.

I think it’s so much more complex than that?

Is my DS (9) missing his football club? Hugely. Is it the end of the world that he misses one training and one match a week? No.

But he’s also not getting to play football every lunchtime with the kids from his class/year. He’s missing the social time with his friends and other kids. You can’t replicate that on zoom, or having a kick around at the park with your little brother.

Disagree.
Siblings fighting more. Desperate to see their friends. Not sleeping at night. Miss their teachers. Hate screen lessons on zoom.
Bored. Miserable. Fed-up.
Doing what I can to make things better, but I also have to work from home.
First school lock-down was bad. This one much, much worse and I don’t think it’s made one ounce of difference to infections, hospitalisations or deaths.
But I am very, VERY worried about all our kids. They MUST re-open the schools.

Disagree. My kids have a couple of after school clubs and they do one extra curricular thing each, neither takes up much time. They are bored senseless. Their lives are on hold. Both have fallen behind academically. My son does boxing and had lost a lot of his fitness. My daughter plays an instrument. She’s made little progress, usually does one grade a year and has missed both.

Remote learning is a joke and they’re both doing their GCSE’s. Absolutely nothing good has come out of lockdown for them.

Obviously it’s needed to control the virus but they’ve definitely not benefited in any way, shape or form.