Anyone agree? Re. Children in lockdown

[Sorehandsandfeet]

Now, I am aware that I am not speaking for everyone but I have spoken to a few people who have the same opinion. Before I get flamed, I understand that there are those living below the poverty line that don't have the resources for this lifestyle. I also know that there are some children who are not in the position to fully access education in lockdown due to poverty or neglect. However, I do think this applies to many.
Before lockdown many children had very busy lives with very little down time. After school there were all the extra curriculars,such as dancing, music, sports etc. Then there were the weekend competitions, matches etc. Alot of children I know pretty much had school, activity, dinner, homework and bed. Weekends were busy. Not only that but they were expected to excel academically also.
In my personal opinion, this high stress lifestyle was as damaging to the mental health of this generation as the lack of formal school is now.
Some children are finally being allowed to chill out at home with their families. Let's not be naive, most older children/ teens are still in contact with their friends via devices. Most are receiving 'some' education. I know it is substandard compared to being in class but it is still going ahead. Parents who wfh now have more time without all the running, ferrying children from one activity to another and stress of having to fit everything in. In some ways some children may have improved mental health/self esteem without all the pressure and competition.

More family time has been good for my dd. I still work full time outside the home, but my dh is self employed and has no work atm. We all get to spend more time together at weekends.

The worst thing for my dd is the lack of exercise. We go on a walk most days, but she doesn’t want to, and it’s a struggle.

Also disagree. My kids have managed to go swimming 3 times since last March, they miss scouts/beavers and dd misses dance class.

Piano is happening via zoom, but is an inferior way to learn.

Some parents over schedule their kids, but most children enjoy the extra activities.

The big one we are missing is the 3 nights a week that were free after school for playdates. I miss playdates. (Even the ones with the awkward kids who won't eat anything that's not beige)

Before lockdown many children had very busy lives with very little down time. After school there were all the extra curriculars,such as dancing, music, sports etc. Then there were the weekend competitions, matches etc.

This applies only to a certain class in society, living a certain lifestyle, frankly.

Lots of children don't live their lives like this. The bit about them being expected to excel academically is also telling.

The majority of children I know have parents who don't particularly expect them to excel academically. They mostly come from ordinary families with ordinary jobs. And there isn't much going on round here out of school time for kids.

I will probably be shot down for this but I do agree with you OP.

Some of my DD’s friends lives pre-lockdown were ridiculous & exhausting! They were literally never at home & I used to feel sad about that. Many also were never without a constant stream of family friends either coming round or meeting up & rarely just spent time alone as a family.

Of course my DD did a few extra curricular activities but she has also spent a lot of time happily at home. I think this has helped her to adjust to lockdown. It’s about balance. Children need rest just as we do as adults. They need down time & time to be bored which has proven to help with creativity.

Personally also think it’s quite lazy parenting to stick your child into so many clubs/activities - especially at weekends - I know of mums who purely did this so that they didn’t have to entertain their children!

I think we’ve become of a society of competitive rushing around & busyness as if it makes everyone think we are living the most marvellous fun filled life.

Don’t get me wrong, this lockdown life isn’t healthy long term either. However I think it will (and has) prompted many families to slow down & reevaluate their priorities.

My kids really dislike socialising over zoom etc and have stopped doing it and largely don’t talk to anyone. They enjoyed doing their hobbies which kept them fit which is great for mental health, many of us festers that way. Being busy keeps the mind off worries ime.

Do you have children of your own at home?

I notice that those disagreeing are - naturally - disagreeing from the perspective of their own child, whereas your post was more of a general one.

I do agree that for many families, the slower pace has been beneficial, and hopefully some will make changes to their lifestyles after this is over.

Surely it is somewhere in the middle which is best? My DS wasn't overscheduled but he did gymnastics and attended birthday parties and play dates. We were also able to take him places like NT properties where we would all have fun as a family. I agree that relaxed time at home is important but lockdown is too far in that direction.

I was homeschooled. Had my parents isolated me to the extent children are currently being isolated, I think it would have been viewed as a case for social services. (Only thing the council education officer cared about, iirc, was whether we were seeing other children!)

Let's not be naive, most older children/ teens are still in contact with their friends via devices.

Of course they are, you write as if it’s a bad thing. It’s still no where near enough.

I can’t wait for activities to restart. Dc enjoy them. A weekly zoom piano lesson is just still more screen.

Admittedly I don't know any over scheduled children, all the ones I know did one or two activities a week with plenty of down time .

I have been accused of smugness when saying this but hand on heart my 5 year old has been happier in lockdown than I've ever seen him. He started reception this year and has really not enjoyed school - he struggles with large groups of other children and prefers to be quiet. I'm lucky because although I work I am freelance and most of my work can be done in the evenings. We've got a good routine and structure at home and his learning seems to have come on in leaps and bounds. At this point if I had the choice between him being able to see extended family vs going back to school I'd choose seeing family.

I'm currently undecided as to if I'll send him back if schools do reopen on 8 March.

I understand your point but it’s more individual and less black and white than that.

DS is 4.5 and an only child. In some ways this last lockdown has been lovely - I only work one day a week abs was a primary teacher before he was born so academically he’s progressed far more than he did in school last term. We live rurally and we’ve done lots of walking and seen beautiful things. I’ve got to spend an extra year, almost, with my lovely little boy and I’m grateful for something positive in this chaos.

However, he rarely gets to play with other children. He’s become very dependent on me, it reminds me of when he was a baby and he’d cry when I wasn’t in the room. He did one club out of school and loved it but can’t get on with it over zoom. We live in wales but speak English at home. His school is first language Welsh so he’s missed almost an entire year of immersion and that will make it harder for him to re enter a week on Wednesday.

Parents who wfh now have more time without all the running, ferrying children from one activity to another and stress of having to fit everything in.

?????

My DC are early primary and nursery age. We are trying to look after and homeschool them alongside full-time jobs. I am absolutely fucking exhausted, in a constant state of stress, and consider it a night off if my work laptop is away before 10pm.

The idea that this is less stressful and less ‘having to fit everything in’ than having to take a child to a swimming class is just bizarre.

No- I’ve even started to miss swimming which takes so long hanging around for different classes. Turns out lack of swimming doesn’t make Saturdays more productive.

I completely agree with you. My year 11 daughter is thriving at home and my year 9 son is very happy.

No we need more balance in our lives. I'd like my DC to be able to swim, to train and compete in sports, to go on camps/school days out, to build confidence in speaking in groups/assembly - none of which they can do at home. They miss celebrating friends birthdays and parties - coming up to potentially the second year of celebrations with immediate family only.

Now they just have screens to interact with friends, family and teachers & that is abnormal.

Also online interaction and bloody Zoom just doesn't appeal anymore almost 12 months down the line. They need proper, face to face interaction for social development.

Fwiw I freelance and I've always homeschooled by choice so that area of our lives hasn't changed much. But part of successfully homeschooling is dependent on making sure they have good social lives and interaction with their peers. If a family was to tell the LEA that they didn't allow their homeschooled children out to play or socialise with other children in a social setting there would be some serious issues. Yet here we are having that enforced by the government and we're supposed to just buckle down and ignore the damage it's doing!!

Lockdown WILL harm our kids, in fact it already is. You only have to read these boards to see how many children and teens are depressed, anxious, withdrawn, demotivated etc. Families are at breaking point with wfh, homeschooling and trying to maintain good relationships with their children and partners. And it's particularly hard if one of more of those children are SN. Lockdown is fostering some very toxic environments now imo with just too much pressure on parents and children.

@Chollok

I have been accused of smugness when saying this but hand on heart my 5 year old has been happier in lockdown than I've ever seen him. He started reception this year and has really not enjoyed school - he struggles with large groups of other children and prefers to be quiet. I'm lucky because although I work I am freelance and most of my work can be done in the evenings. We've got a good routine and structure at home and his learning seems to have come on in leaps and bounds. At this point if I had the choice between him being able to see extended family vs going back to school I'd choose seeing family.

I'm currently undecided as to if I'll send him back if schools do reopen on 8 March.

I think that is so lovely that your DS is happier at home. It’s not smug at all. Hold on to that ad they are only small children for such a short period of time.

I am afraid the evidence proves you wrong.

Nearly every charity that works with children and young people did research during the last lockdown and found it to be damaging to children and young peoples mental and physical health, emotional wellbeing, It affected the development and education.

5 minutes on google and you can read all this research for yourself.

The current lockdown is expected to have a bigger negative effect than the last one due to weather make it more difficult for children to get out an exercise or play.

New research is now showing that babies and toddlers development has also been affected.

@110APiccadilly

I was homeschooled. Had my parents isolated me to the extent children are currently being isolated, I think it would have been viewed as a case for social services. (Only thing the council education officer cared about, iirc, was whether we were seeing other children!)

Just came on here to say that

I agree. My kids have absolutely loved the lockdowns. It's really made us reconsider what activities and social opportunities they do in normal times.

My oldest now spends all day alone. He thankfully has zoom lessons, but his dad and I work fulltime from home - you know, to pay the mortgage, bills etc. I have less time than before as there is tons more cleaning, cooking etc.
Great for you if you don’t work and “chill out with your children”, but not everybody has that luxury.

I teach teenagers and they are suffering dreadfully. The ones that are worrying our pastoral teams and tutors the most are the ones whose parents are saying how much happier they are doing homeschooling.
My own 17 year old has lost all hope of getting back to anything like normal this year. We have frequent bursts of crying and "what's the point?" -ing.
She's not the only one. A lot of parents are telling us the same.
Kids are also falling through the cracks. Kids who 12 months ago were normal, average, teenagery teenagers. We've had dropouts, we've had kids not hand in one piece of work or log in for one lesson. Prior to the summer one of mine did a total of 22 minutes of lesson (we were live online from 16th March) she's now dropped out of school together.
Any parent who thinks there is anything remotely positive about this needs a good look at what's under their noses, because it's not what you think it is, it's a timebomb.

I don’t only disagree on a personal level but on a population level. That doesn’t alter the fact that lockdown will be positive for a small number. The amount of over-busy children is quite a small demographic and certainly not representative of the majority. I expect those kids are probably doing a fair amount of zoom classes, online tutoring and extra homework still, either because they enjoy it or because they have pushy parents.
Everyone is different, presuming being busy is bad is a personal judgement. I believe the majority need actual social interaction, enjoyable hobbies, sport and activity, anything done remotely is such a poor substitute

OK, thank you for all the replies. Yes, admittedly, I am talking about experience that I and my friends share. I understand every adult and every child have their own individual needs regarding exercise ,activity and socialisation.
Of course I believe that there should be a balance and this lockdown life is very far from ideal. I just felt that many children, mine included, were over scheduled and life could get stressful for them and me. A few of my friends have said the same.
This is not an argument against school reopening, in fact, one of my children is still at her special school, for which I am truly grateful.