Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Original poster

Anyone agree? Re. Children in lockdown

214 replies

Sorehandsandfeet · 14/02/2021 16:45

Now, I am aware that I am not speaking for everyone but I have spoken to a few people who have the same opinion. Before I get flamed, I understand that there are those living below the poverty line that don't have the resources for this lifestyle. I also know that there are some children who are not in the position to fully access education in lockdown due to poverty or neglect. However, I do think this applies to many.
Before lockdown many children had very busy lives with very little down time. After school there were all the extra curriculars,such as dancing, music, sports etc. Then there were the weekend competitions, matches etc. Alot of children I know pretty much had school, activity, dinner, homework and bed. Weekends were busy. Not only that but they were expected to excel academically also.
In my personal opinion, this high stress lifestyle was as damaging to the mental health of this generation as the lack of formal school is now.
Some children are finally being allowed to chill out at home with their families. Let's not be naive, most older children/ teens are still in contact with their friends via devices. Most are receiving 'some' education. I know it is substandard compared to being in class but it is still going ahead. Parents who wfh now have more time without all the running, ferrying children from one activity to another and stress of having to fit everything in. In some ways some children may have improved mental health/self esteem without all the pressure and competition.

OP posts:

Ohnomoreno · 14/02/2021 19:21

Sorry no. My kids did swimming once a week. They are desperately sad about it stopping.

ouchmyfeet · 14/02/2021 19:25

Parents who wfh now have more time without all the running, ferrying children from one activity to another and stress of having to fit everything in.

Is this a joke?!

Extra curricular activities are not a source of stress, for me or my children.

Senso21 · 14/02/2021 19:31

Doesn’t apply to my kids, my 6 year old is terribly bored at home, her life has always been back to back with clubs and activities because she has so much energy to burn and she has just turned into a tv addict at home. Swimming is the one that I really want her to go back to. She only started lessons just before she turned 5 and after 3 lockdowns and pool closures, she still can’t swim unaided as each time she has gotten the hang of it, the classes have stopped again for weeks/months on end.
My 2 year old isn’t phased though, walks are enough for her to burn off some steam and she doesn’t notice how mundane this all is!

IAmADancer · 14/02/2021 19:34

I completely disagree. My sons mental health is in pieces and he’s 5. He is being put back in school to try and manage how much he is struggling. He can’t sleep, is anxious, obsessed with death, it’s awful and I don’t know how to support him anymore.

My daughter has developed tics due to anxiety as she internalises everything. Both are now under the care of a therapist. So no, this is not less stressful for them!

PinkFondantFancy · 14/02/2021 19:36

Disagree. My children don't do competitive activities, they do things like orchestra which have so many varied benefits it would take me ages to list them. They miss it desperately. I don't have more time now I'm WFH, if anything I have less.

Verashat · 14/02/2021 19:39

@ouchmyfeet

Parents who wfh now have more time without all the running, ferrying children from one activity to another and stress of having to fit everything in.

Is this a joke?!

Extra curricular activities are not a source of stress, for me or my children.

Oh well done you got being such an amazing parent.

Tatogratin · 14/02/2021 19:49

Disagree. My DD (5) is missing her clubs (gymnastics, swimming, ballet, judo) terribly. It was a fitness and social thing for her. Walks are not the same, zoom classes aren't the same. Yes she was very busy in the weeks but in the 1980s she'd probably have been out playing with friends every night, life isn't like that anymore so she gets that time to socialise in a more structured environment.

Alienchannell21 · 14/02/2021 19:50

My dc9 is loving being at home. Pre Covid they did swimming, drama, brownies and at least 2 play dates a week- very sociable child. They honestly haven't mentioned those more than twice and they loved going and doing them all. They also like that I'm wfh ft atm so no Afterschool club which they did hate! Everyone's experience in this pandemic is very different but some will feel the benefits and others unfortunately will be massively disadvantaged.
Getting back to normal with breakfast club, school runs, Afterschool club, other clubs will be a bit of a re-adjustment for us all.

VaVaGloom · 14/02/2021 19:54

@DayBath I think many children are thriving away from social pressures to dress and look the right way and also away from school bullies. This isn't to say this situation suits every child, but those who felt a sinking feeling before going to school every morning must finally be able to concentrate on school work and actually flourish for a change

Schools are woefully inadequate at dealing with bullying, I fear for the victims when they have to return. But hey, as long as the majority are alright then fuck them eh? That seems to be the general attitude anyway

Nobody has said that at all, bullying is an awful thing that needs dealing with. So what’s your alternative solution - fuck all the kids over? (And the parents having to oversee homeschooling?)

VaVaGloom · 14/02/2021 20:05

@Sorehandsandfeet it sounds like you have posted here to get, and understand, a range of views - exactly what a forum should do.
Ultimately it’s down to so many factors, the age of the children, the working circumstances of the parents and the personalities of the children and parents. You are right though it’s given us all a time to reflect on how we live our normal day to day lives and identify what we miss & sometimes what we don’t.

Verrucapepper · 14/02/2021 20:07

Errrrrrr.... disagree love! For all the reasons above and then some.

coronafiona · 14/02/2021 20:49

Disagree. Mine miss swimming and gym and guides. I don't though

Dustyhedge · 14/02/2021 20:54

Disagree. I would much rather my children were doing sport and keeping active. Working from home has been nice but I think boundaries have been blurred so much that work feels always ‘on’ now. Also I’d much rather my child was in after school club with her friends rather than coming home from school, being shoved in front of the tv because we’re both working.having childcare while you’re working is a pretty important thing as it turns out...

babyyodaxmas · 14/02/2021 21:05

My DS is 17 in 6 weeks. He has played competative football since yr 3.It is a massive part of his life, he misses it dreadfully.

ouchmyfeet · 14/02/2021 21:07

@Verashat not trying to show off my exemplary parenting . Just trying to point out that parents working from home definitely do not have more time, and it's not extra curricular activities that cause us stress, it's lockdown and school closures

clopper · 14/02/2021 21:14

I agree that some children had very little downtime. However, when my child was being bullied at school it was great that they had another set of friends from an activity outside of school. So I think activities are a good way to develop wider friendships as well as skills.

Boboparadise · 14/02/2021 21:16

@Sorehandsandfeet

Now, I am aware that I am not speaking for everyone but I have spoken to a few people who have the same opinion. Before I get flamed, I understand that there are those living below the poverty line that don't have the resources for this lifestyle. I also know that there are some children who are not in the position to fully access education in lockdown due to poverty or neglect. However, I do think this applies to many. Before lockdown many children had very busy lives with very little down time. After school there were all the extra curriculars,such as dancing, music, sports etc. Then there were the weekend competitions, matches etc. Alot of children I know pretty much had school, activity, dinner, homework and bed. Weekends were busy. Not only that but they were expected to excel academically also. In my personal opinion, this high stress lifestyle was as damaging to the mental health of this generation as the lack of formal school is now. Some children are finally being allowed to chill out at home with their families. Let's not be naive, most older children/ teens are still in contact with their friends via devices. Most are receiving 'some' education. I know it is substandard compared to being in class but it is still going ahead. Parents who wfh now have more time without all the running, ferrying children from one activity to another and stress of having to fit everything in. In some ways some children may have improved mental health/self esteem without all the pressure and competition.

Couldn't agree more

Spikeyball · 14/02/2021 22:36

Ds never had the sort of life you described before lockdown due to having severe sn. He has remained in school but outside and to some extent in it, his already limited options have got more limited. The lifestyle you described was a choice and a privileged one because it was a choice.

museumum · 14/02/2021 22:44

I think what children need the most is other children. My 7yr old in lockdown has only had a 44yr old and a 49yr old to “play” with. And we love him unconditionally. It’s not normal.
In the mythical “days before overscheduling” there was a lot of unstructured free play in large groups of children. You can’t take away the clubs and sports and not replace with anything and expect kids to be happy.

Chollok · 14/02/2021 22:56

I think what children need the most is other children

I really didn't like most other children as a child, I mostly just wanted to be on my own. I'm the same as an adult.

My little boy is unfortunately cut from the same cloth.

Dustyboots · 14/02/2021 23:41

My kids did too many activities after school.

They were much happier then than they are now though.

everythingthelighttouches · 15/02/2021 00:11

Parents who wfh now have more time

..Said no working parent ever.

Coasterfan · 15/02/2021 01:13

My son really misses his football, that’s all he did activities wise, DD doesn’t do any extracurricular activities but as a family we always went out all day every day at the weekend and away every other weekend either to family or just on a break somewhere. We are all struggling without that and we have no meaningful family time, I work all weekend as I give up 20 hours a week to homeschool so have to make it up somewhere and the kids just want to be in their rooms, gaming and talking to friends (they are 11 and 13). I know there’s not many more years that they will want to do stuff as a family. It’s really affecting all of us now.

VaVaGloom · 15/02/2021 08:13

Parents who wfh now have more time

..Said no working parent ever

I’ve been looking forward to half term so that I can work without distractedly supervising home schooling! It’s been horrendous feeling like i’m simultaneously doing a bad job at work and a bad job of homeschooling.

TheKeatingFive · 15/02/2021 08:18

Parents who wfh now have more time

Fuck me, how out of touch with reality do you have to be to come out with this gem?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9