Anyone agree? Re. Children in lockdown

[Sorehandsandfeet]

Now, I am aware that I am not speaking for everyone but I have spoken to a few people who have the same opinion. Before I get flamed, I understand that there are those living below the poverty line that don't have the resources for this lifestyle. I also know that there are some children who are not in the position to fully access education in lockdown due to poverty or neglect. However, I do think this applies to many.
Before lockdown many children had very busy lives with very little down time. After school there were all the extra curriculars,such as dancing, music, sports etc. Then there were the weekend competitions, matches etc. Alot of children I know pretty much had school, activity, dinner, homework and bed. Weekends were busy. Not only that but they were expected to excel academically also.
In my personal opinion, this high stress lifestyle was as damaging to the mental health of this generation as the lack of formal school is now.
Some children are finally being allowed to chill out at home with their families. Let's not be naive, most older children/ teens are still in contact with their friends via devices. Most are receiving 'some' education. I know it is substandard compared to being in class but it is still going ahead. Parents who wfh now have more time without all the running, ferrying children from one activity to another and stress of having to fit everything in. In some ways some children may have improved mental health/self esteem without all the pressure and competition.

Parents who wfh now have more time

Um really? Do you have a job and wfh?

No. No. We do not have more time. Because we are trying to home school and work at the same time. It is not possible. Many people are going over the edge. No.
exactly. due to homeschooling and having a job we now have NO family time whatsoever. we don’t even eat as a family anymore, no weekends etc. because 50+ hours of work (more busy due to covid, but not a keyworker), and homeschooling and increased house work and childcare means there is no time.
Great for people with not much to do, not so much for people with jobs.

I do agree (for my family). We deliberately tried not to commit to too many extra groups but the birthday parties, schools runs, groups, play dates. I’m not missing the constant go go go. My children are much more settled now (as not getting over-tired), but obviously there is a happy middle ground. We won’t be rushing about as much when things are more ‘normal’ and I would be quite up for a 4 day school week or a longer holidays! (But that’s being totally selfish thinking about how many family have enjoyed the slower pace, I know it wouldn’t suit the majority)

I also disagree. Most parents don’t have more time, they are trying to juggle more while everyone is tied to the home. Children need to socialise and many benefit from the routine and are struggling right now.

It may have forced some parents who overstimulated their children to stop and take stick, it shouldn’t take a pandemic for them to do that.

Take stock not stick 🙄

I couldn't afford any extra clubs and classes anyway.
So there was no stress of extra activities or ferrying around.
Not everyone can afford classes and not every area has brownies etc. My last area did but I worked nights so it was impossible with the timings.

Yeah it's great that my teenage son spends most of his time alone in front of screens. Not at all detrimental to his physical or emotional health.

It's horse for courses really... totally depends on the individual child.
I do think that you're making a massive assumption that a lot of extra curricular activities results in a high stress lifestyle for children and consequently damages their mental health.
Some children absolutely thrive on being very busy and are very driven and passionate about their chosen hobby, often choosing to do it each day, and will be the first to put their hand up for even more when it's offered! It's a very rewarding way of life for them, even though school work, eating and sleeping has to be fitted into the daily routine too.
For these children it's extremely difficult not to be doing what they enjoy (and often excel at) on a very regular basis. For them, their mental health will be suffering because they haven't been able to participate in their chosen activity in the normal pre covid ways.

I completely agree with you. I think the amount of time spent in clubs is ridiculous for some kids but its not one size fits all. Some children enjoy this. Mine dont! I actually get rather irritated with the schools expectations and surveys to check that they have these extra activities. Its not the be all and end all. My children have done activities but don't enjoy the routine at all.

@Fuckadoodledoooo

I couldn't afford any extra clubs and classes anyway. So there was no stress of extra activities or ferrying around. Not everyone can afford classes and not every area has brownies etc. My last area did but I worked nights so it was impossible with the timings.

and this too. When you have one child, then its manageable. When you have three, its not.

I do think my children were too busy before lockdown and they now read books, do more imaginative play and seek opportunities to learn things on their own. However, there have been significant costs also.

There are lessons to be learned for sure.

Another who disagrees. To be sure, I don't miss the commute. My DC were never over scheduled though. A couple of activities each on top of interacting at school with their friends. The loss of this is pretty awful for them. Perhaps if we weren't both working and had the time and resources it would have been mitigated. Instead they have had to largely fend for themselves and have no enthusiasm for this 12 months on.

I’m a big advocate of getting bored breeds ideas but on the whole no, this has been far too much.

I’m an introvert by nature but recognise the need for a life outside your home. A few years ago I spent my maternity leave largely tethered to the house in a new area without any support group to fall back on (and I suspect a pretty hefty dose of PND in hindsight) and it was only on coming out the other side I recognised how unhealthy it is mentally to spend too much time with your own thoughts and no outside input.

The largest saving grace imho is that this is a generation that will share the same trauma in different shades and to an extent it won’t be such a lonely road to recovery for many of them.

the main thing children in their setting were struggling with was stamina. They just got out the pace of learning. They didnt find them particulaly behind or mentally struggling. The just lacked stamina to keep going. I wonder how it will be now.

Yes. 2pm was time to finish trying to do anything productive. Year 3 and 4. Bwhaviour in general was bad, they'd forgotten turn taking, sharing, not having 1-2 attention or whatever. Most had done ok academically, some had even thrived academically at home, but they all struggled socially. We'd been online since Easter.

Plan for return is daily PSHE lessons on relationship building. Not 'wellbeing', but actually teaching them how to be a friend, talk to others etc.

Disagree.

DCs aged 12 and 14 miss their activities both at school and extra curricular. They’ve become lethargic, unmotivated and vitamin D deprived.

Trying to get them out in the fresh air is virtually impossible.

Can’t wait for schools to reopen.

I wouldn’t want this to go on for much longer but broadly agree with you. It’s been so nice to not frantically rush around to do all the clubs, tutoring and play dates.

I think many children are thriving away from social pressures to dress and look the right way and also away from school bullies. This isn't to say this situation suits every child, but those who felt a sinking feeling before going to school every morning must finally be able to concentrate on school work and actually flourish for a change.

Schools are woefully inadequate at dealing with bullying, I fear for the victims when they have to return. But hey, as long as the majority are alright then fuck them eh? That seems to be the general attitude anyway.

Some children may have been too busy, but mine was much happier and fulfilled before lockdown.
Yes, we do spend some more time together, but it is mainly doing homework, after a long day for me at work, so it is not all sweet at all!

I’m sure there are some families who feel they have had these wonderful halcyon days you speak of with paid down time to lavish on their children.
However I feel that most families experience has been the opposite either working from home or still working out of the home they have been torn with very little time to give their children.
Most kids do a few activities my DD did guides and ballet and loved them both and now has no enthusiasm for anything. Her mental health has suffered so much from being in lockdown away from any distraction that we have had to pay for a psychiatrist appointment in the coming weeks.
So no I disagree it has not been good.

"this high stress lifestyle was as damaging to the mental health of this generation as the lack of formal school is now."

Except the stress hasn't really gone away, it's just a different kind of stress: the stress of attempting to learn in the what is at best a mediocre substitute for learning with one's peers and at worst unfathomable for those with kinetic learning styles; not knowing by what means your grades will be worked for your GCSEs. Plus a heavy dose of boredom. And the whole pandemic thing.

I did know one or two kids who were overscheduled to the point of misery but for most folks round here it was Brownies once a week and swimming or football or drama club of a weekend.

My ds mental health has improved immeasurably from being away from school, it depends on the individual. I am kind of imagining the bully boys parents posting on here about how much their son misses school.

I do agree on some levels with those massively over achieving parents who did far too much with their children after school and wonder why they are so stressed?!
I personally have been a bit more relaxed with my children after school. Swimming lessons yes, as I deem them essential living near a dangerous river.
But not much else until they were older.

Domestic violence has sky rocketed. For many women and children it will be drastically more psychologically the longer this goes on for.

Disagree. Before lockdown my kids had a couple of activities a week, not academic related, where they could relax. Now they miss both the clubs and the chance to socialise outside school. The result of not being able to participate in these, or attend school, has an extremely negative impact on them. Along with that they are struggling with 2 parents, both WFH FT with no time for home-schooling or chilling with the kids. While I appreciate we are very lucky to have money to pay the bills while other struggle financially, this is of limited benefit to children starved of company and an education during lockdown. Life has slowed in a negative way for our children and has escalated beyond belief for us as exhausted parents.

@ItisLikethis

Domestic violence has sky rocketed. For many women and children it will be drastically more psychologically the longer this goes on for.

Have you got a link for that please? I can only find this www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/domesticabuseduringthecoronaviruscovid19pandemicenglandandwales/november2020