Toddlers growing up during covid - the forgotten bunch

[Hitchyhero]

I'm just depressed and want to vent. I feel like nothing is being done with this generation of kids and it's all about saving the elderly.

My child is adopted and he didn't have the best start in life. He came to us when he was just over 1 years old in July 2019. Then in early 2020 we went into lockdown the week before his bday. 1 year later.... At 3 years old.... He still hasn't had a birthday with his wider family.

He has speech delay (which is common among adopted children) but I don't think mask wearing, and lack of social interaction with others has helped. He's only actually interacted with my family for 6 months because of covid. Hes hardly intereracted with children his age. I can't get appotments with speech therapists because of covid too. We video call with my family but he's not interested in videocalls for that long. He just has no connection. Feel like this generation of kids are going to have massive repercussions. Whilst I know older kids education is not great atm, these early years are massivly important and these kids are not goingnto have even basic life skills.

I totally understand. My youngest is 2 next month and has been in lockdown since he turned 1....

I have literally last week filled the forms in for him to attend pre school 2 year old provision within our local primary school from April. He will only attend 2 mornings a week and am hoping I can get him to some of the imagination play places as soon as they reopen.

I also have some concerns re speech but I believe he will progress once he starts to interact with others more so.

I have a list of things I'm keeping an eye on reopening so hopefully we will have plenty on once we are allowed out and about.

I agree and it's almost as if this time the government feel just because nurseries are open that it's all well and good. Not everyone needs a nursery for their baby or toddler, many couldn't afford it anyway. Lots of mums rely on informal chilldcare and specifically work part time or don't work so that they can spend time with their young children. Except there's nothing to do with them, no socialisation and normal experiences. Online baby groups are truly rubbish.

@Lookingatthings it's not about how YOU interact with your child, it's about them not interacting with anyone else, surely you met up with other children sometimes, even other adults. It's not healthy to only see your parents at that age.

Haven't heard from him since sept and that was by phone.
No face to face clinic's.
Get impression they safeguarding and checking in on more troubled families maybe as social services cannot cope.
We hear about national tutoring
What about reforming early years
Free nursery place from age 1 or 2 for 15 hours regardless of income.
More money spent on existing children's centres expanding them and running multiple small group activities or courses daily.
Delaying reception start made easier.

We used attend church hall toddler group run by old ladies so fully understand why that can't run maybe it restart when the vaccinated.
We have fab children's centre I have been u able to use in pandemic and even before that funding was cut so the courses and groups were more specifically targeted towards lower income or specialist groups like 1st time parent. Twins. Teen mums.

Also thinking back my 9 year old son has 2 speech and language disorders.
Age 2 to 4 was hellish I did all I could
Preschool. Sing and sign speech therapy took until reception to get private full diagnosis and obtain a a ehcp.
Without ehcp they not classed as SEN as they not diagnosed or with a plan so cannot attend if nursery say just keyworker and sen.
Also nhs doesn't like to diagnose early or at all so there could be undiagnosed SEN that will then hinder our now toddlers starting school.

We saw a little person at the park the other day we don't go often too muddy and cold my little girls eyes lit up she so wants freinds she loves her siblings but there's big age gap she's 2 and they are nearly 10 11 and 15.
Her speech is excellent. I think them being home has benefited her and siblings keeps her social.
Her cousins same age and haven't seen since August.

Get him into a nursery. You'll likely be entitled to the free 30 hours. My 3 year old would be lost without it at the moment

*From helath visitor since sept not him autocorrect.

Could he go to nursery? My 2.5 year old goes three half days a week so he can have some interaction with people other than his parents.

Why do these sorts of threads always have some pillocks come on who start talking about how much worse it was for someone else?

Yeah, the world is full of suffering. No shit. That doesn't help the OP's situation at all. People are allowed to be affected by the bad things that happen to them without it needing to be the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone in human history.

Sorry your DS is struggling OP. It’s incredibly tough, and I agree the under 5s have been largely forgotten in our pandemic response.

Like a pp I have Master’s level experience of Early Years and child development/psychology. I’m concerned about the development and school readiness of this cohort of children (this was already a big nationwide issue prior to covid) and am almost certain that there will be dramatically increased issues with things like speech and language delay, behavioural problems and so on. Unfortunately I’m much less certain that our government has the will or the foresight to do much to mitigate this (I personally wouldn’t want to be a Reception teacher in a couple of years’ time!).

Like others I’d suggest some nursery time if possible for your DS. DD attends nursery two days a week and it’s been a lifeline for all of us throughout the pandemic. There are plenty of varied and stimulating activities, she adores all the practitioners and has ‘friends’ that she talks about outside nursery, and her speech and social skills have come on in leaps and bounds. We also make sure we get out to various parks/playgrounds most days, so she sees other children there, have and continued to take her into shops and on public transport so she can interact with different adults (MN doesn’t like this very much, but basic knowledge and understanding of the world beyond your own home is also important for little ones). And, yes, we’ve had a couple of ‘illegal’ indoor play dates at times when nursery has been closed.

Other than that, plenty of speech-based role play at home (‘going to market’ etc), songs, stories etc will help with language development.

Did anyone see the government’s response yesterday about playgrounds, saying they were ‘mainly there for those without gardens’ and under no circumstances must the children socialise? Basically instilling guilt in parents for letting their kids play, when that’s exactly what they should be doing for their children’s well-being.

I wonder how much the pandemic response is weighted towards the elderly because they almost all vote Tory.

@Kendodd Ridiculous post. It’s weighted towards the elderly because they’re the ones most likely to die of Covid!

It’s awful op you’re right. The children are the forgotten ones.

My babies first year cannot be replaced and I won’t risk harming their development for this.

It sounds like you’re doing a great job, but really - does it actually make a difference to babies that young? I thought they didn’t really need to interact with other people (apart from their parents) until at least the age of two!

@Hitchyhero it’s terrible way to treat children, especially those who already have difficulties. They can’t get this development time back. It must be hard for you too.

Your post has reminded me of a few things about my DC at that age OP.

The endless walks, stopping every few minutes to examine ‘stuff’, the constant wittering about anything and everything, the routine - bath, bed, book, sleep, watching cbbc, reading stories, ‘baking’, living in the moment... I sometimes got bored with the routine, not them! Everything is new and interesting to them at that age and yet another walk to me was exciting to them.
Be grateful if that!

Social interaction is really important at every age and there is no doubt that your child (along with every child/adult at every age) is missing out at the moment. Family and friends are missing from their lives but it is not forever.

Mine are now teens and they know they’re missing out socially but there is no choice.
It is what it is.

Social interaction is really important at every age

Even as a baby? I’m asking as I have a 9 month old and am worried!

Also, I hate all the competitive ‘Which group has it worst?’ stuff on here, and agree that things are universally challenging and miserable at the moment... but I do think most people don’t realise that development in the early years is time critical, that there’s a specific ‘window’ to develop each skill and that these skills are the building blocks every child needs in order to access education and progress further. It’s not just a case of slotting stuff in later on; missing out on socialisation, communication etc now could affect the way that child’s brain is wired for life. Obviously won’t be an issue for many children, but others could be severely affected.

(And I’d also argue that even the MN ‘My Own Child’s Fine’ brigade will be affected once their DC starts school and ends up in a class with a higher than average proportion of speech delayed, poorly socialised, behaviourally challenging kids).

@JamesAnderson @Dongdingdong
Of course the government would have taken into account the fact the covid is hitting their core voters, you're very naive if you think they haven't. If you want prove just look at the way austerity has hit those most likely to vote (hardly at all) and those least likely to vote (extremely hard).

I worry about toddlers too .
My teens are old enough to suck it up and realise we just need to get through it.

Can I ask people who are aware of the damage it’s doing to their little ones why they are obeying?
Because I don’t want my 78yo mother to die.

I totally agree @TempsPerdu.

@Greendoonan so that makes it fine to sacrifice children’s development?

@TempsPerdu

Sorry your DS is struggling OP. It’s incredibly tough, and I agree the under 5s have been largely forgotten in our pandemic response.

Like a pp I have Master’s level experience of Early Years and child development/psychology. I’m concerned about the development and school readiness of this cohort of children (this was already a big nationwide issue prior to covid) and am almost certain that there will be dramatically increased issues with things like speech and language delay, behavioural problems and so on. Unfortunately I’m much less certain that our government has the will or the foresight to do much to mitigate this (I personally wouldn’t want to be a Reception teacher in a couple of years’ time!).

Like others I’d suggest some nursery time if possible for your DS. DD attends nursery two days a week and it’s been a lifeline for all of us throughout the pandemic. There are plenty of varied and stimulating activities, she adores all the practitioners and has ‘friends’ that she talks about outside nursery, and her speech and social skills have come on in leaps and bounds. We also make sure we get out to various parks/playgrounds most days, so she sees other children there, have and continued to take her into shops and on public transport so she can interact with different adults (MN doesn’t like this very much, but basic knowledge and understanding of the world beyond your own home is also important for little ones). And, yes, we’ve had a couple of ‘illegal’ indoor play dates at times when nursery has been closed.

Other than that, plenty of speech-based role play at home (‘going to market’ etc), songs, stories etc will help with language development.

Did anyone see the government’s response yesterday about playgrounds, saying they were ‘mainly there for those without gardens’ and under no circumstances must the children socialise? Basically instilling guilt in parents for letting their kids play, when that’s exactly what they should be doing for their children’s well-being.

Which numpty said that?

Really is odd on on hand we got post on toddler suffering another its legal footballers socialise, influencers go on dubai worktrips up until recently and celebs to have their hair and nails done.
I am sure outdoor park meet is not responsible for the spread.

Obviously won’t be an issue for many children, but others could be severely affected
I can see a difference between my 3yo and the 3yo grandson of MIL’s neighbours. They’ve been in the garden a few times when we’ve gone over for a doorstep visit. He can shout hello and address my child by name, and he seems normal. But he has two brothers.

Greendoonan so that makes it fine to sacrifice children’s development?
What can I do about it? We aren’t allowed to socialise and if we do it could kill my mother. Would you want to live with that guilt?

@crispyy yes, it’s really important. Even things like interacting with shop assistants, people you meet out and about, help. They should be learning all the time how to interact with the world and people, so it’s not so much formal playing but just seeing people.