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Original poster

Would you take your elderly mum to Sainsbury's

870 replies

Icequeen01 · 12/01/2021 18:15

So I'm in such a quandary about this. My DM who is 81 has had both her jabs. She hasn't been out for weeks and weeks and I do her shopping each week when I do mine. She has told me she is coming with me to Sainsbury's next week as it will then be over a week since her booster. She knows she has to wear a mask, hand sanitise and socially distance etc.

I'm still not comfortable with taking her though. I've explained that they don't know if she can still transmit the virus but this is something she desperately wants to do, just to have a little bit of normality again and to be able to do her own shopping. She was very upset when I suggested she shouldn't come.

What would you do?

OP posts:
SummerHouse · 12/01/2021 19:05

Remind her not to snog the shelf stacker. We know what these 80 yr olds are like. Grin

MrsMiaWallis · 12/01/2021 19:06

I totally agree. I am a bit younger (70), but fiercely independent. I hope to stay that way for years, and would be furious if told I couldn’t do x, y or z!

Then go BY YOURSELF

FunnyInjury · 12/01/2021 19:06

Id take her!
Why do people think a grown ass woman cant decide to do her own shopping?!

It's up to OP if she gives her a lift to the shops or not, but it's a pile of steaming shit that a grown up is 'not allowed' to shop for herself if she wants to.

Handcarthell · 12/01/2021 19:07

It's airborne. The vaccine isn't going to stop it getting on her clothes, on her skin, on her breath even. The vaccine will just stop her getting ill.

She will also make it hard for others to socially distance, get round the shop as quick
As they can.

Or make them queue longer outside.

Porcupineintherough · 12/01/2021 19:07

@Handcarthell how is it bending the rules? The rules do allow people to buy food.

Handcarthell · 12/01/2021 19:08

[quote Porcupineintherough]@Handcarthell how is it bending the rules? The rules do allow people to buy food.[/quote]
But not as a bit of a jolly when your fed up at home.

Get real

SummerHouse · 12/01/2021 19:10

@Handcarthell

It's airborne. The vaccine isn't going to stop it getting on her clothes, on her skin, on her breath even. The vaccine will just stop her getting ill.

She will also make it hard for others to socially distance, get round the shop as quick
As they can.

Or make them queue longer outside.

Surely by this reasoning, no one should be there. How is she different to any other person in the shop?
LynetteScavo · 12/01/2021 19:10

My Mother in her 80s drivers herself to Sainsbury's - she wants to choose her own food. I let her because I think it's good for her mental health to leave the house. I might feel differently if we lived in a different area.

Porcupineintherough · 12/01/2021 19:10

@Handcarthell I presume she'll eat the food she buys. Does it only count as essential if you hate the experience?

sotiredofthislonelylife · 12/01/2021 19:11

@MrsMiaWallis

I totally agree. I am a bit younger (70), but fiercely independent. I hope to stay that way for years, and would be furious if told I couldn’t do x, y or z!

Then go BY YOURSELF

I do! What part of my post made you think I was being ‘escorted’? My offspring all live a considerable distance away, and would not be able to help, even if I needed it.
Handcarthell · 12/01/2021 19:11

We have been asked to stay at home and go as little as possible but obviously we have to eat... so that's a risk but one we have to take!

OP has said her mum just wants to go for a trip out.

BrokenCircle · 12/01/2021 19:12

No. Even with the jab, she can still get the virus, and pass it on.

lovemirage · 12/01/2021 19:12

I wouldn't. The jab isn't 100% secure and at the moment the infection rate is high. I would wait until the rate is much lower. You are supposed to stay home atm.

Bilgepumper · 12/01/2021 19:12

No. Only one person should be doing the shopping.

Handcarthell · 12/01/2021 19:13

The basic lack of understanding on this thread is amazing

We need to go out only when necessary. As little as possible.

What's so hard to understand?!

FreshFreesias · 12/01/2021 19:14

She’s a free woman and wants an outing it would be mean spirited to refuse.
Aren’t people allowed to think for themselves?

Handcarthell · 12/01/2021 19:15

@FreshFreesias

She’s a free woman and wants an outing it would be mean spirited to refuse. Aren’t people allowed to think for themselves?
We're all free women. We don't get to do what we choose in a pandemic
FreshFreesias · 12/01/2021 19:15

If the jab doesn’t work, as people are saying, what’s the point of it?

AlwaysLatte · 12/01/2021 19:15

Absolutely not.

Handcarthell · 12/01/2021 19:16

@FreshFreesias

If the jab doesn’t work, as people are saying, what’s the point of it?
It's stops you getting ill.

We don't know yet if it stops you passing it on if you have it but are immune to its effects

VinylDetective · 12/01/2021 19:16

The vaccine will just stop her getting ill

That’s the entire fucking point of it! Ffs are people really this stupid?

FreshFreesias · 12/01/2021 19:17

@Handcarthell You seem to have a keen grasp of the rules and are keen to enforce them - have you thought about applying to become a Corvid Marshall?

Handcarthell · 12/01/2021 19:17

And the rest of us she passes it on to that haven't had it can just suck it up!?

Handcarthell · 12/01/2021 19:18

[quote FreshFreesias]@Handcarthell You seem to have a keen grasp of the rules and are keen to enforce them - have you thought about applying to become a Corvid Marshall?[/quote]
I have a firm grip on common sense, common decency and the law

Perhaps you should do a bit of the same

HeyManIJustWantSomeMuesli · 12/01/2021 19:18

Firstly, she is an adult and capable of making her own decisions. Not 'allowing' her to do this just because she needs a lift would be a bit morally dubious.

Secondly, I think her vaccination status is a bit of a red herring with regards as to whether she can still spread it or not (ignoring for now that she's been shielding so pretty bloody unlikely to have come into contact with it anyway). She was shielding because it was advised because of her age and could, at any point, have gone to the shops on her own if she could drive/you were unable to shop for her/various other reasons before now.

I would certainly encourage her not to go often and still socially distance etc but assuming she has the capacity to decide your only decision is whether you are happy to give her a lift to somewhere she is allowed to go to carefully perform a perfectly reasonable function.