Would you take your elderly mum to Sainsbury's

[Icequeen01]

So I'm in such a quandary about this. My DM who is 81 has had both her jabs. She hasn't been out for weeks and weeks and I do her shopping each week when I do mine. She has told me she is coming with me to Sainsbury's next week as it will then be over a week since her booster. She knows she has to wear a mask, hand sanitise and socially distance etc.

I'm still not comfortable with taking her though. I've explained that they don't know if she can still transmit the virus but this is something she desperately wants to do, just to have a little bit of normality again and to be able to do her own shopping. She was very upset when I suggested she shouldn't come.

What would you do?

No, I wouldn’t. When my my mum is finally vaccinated, I’ll still do her shopping with mine, because we’re avoiding unnecessary outings and helping to minimise the number of people in supermarkets

It’s hard though, my mum just wants to choose her own things and maintain her independence. It might be different if she weren’t so close by, but while I can, I’ll continue to shop for her
(Or once she’s vaccinated, she can shop for me )

@Houggbfhhbdfg

Absolutely, yes I would. I would never deny an elderly person the right to live freely in the world. That is what she wishes to do and the law says she can. She’s a free person

Then she can go by herself!

Absolutely. She's had the jabs and wants her independence back. If she wants to do her own shopping then I would take her.

My 86 year old friend drives to the supermarket and gets her own shopping- no vaccine yet.

My issue - and my supermarkets - would be the 2 adults going together.

Yes I would take her. She is an adult, she can make her own decisions. I would be fucking pissed off if my child told me at 81 I couldn't go to the shops

Agree. It's a small thing, without much risk, that will improve your mum's quality of life. If she hasn't been out for weeks and weeks, and has had her vaccine, then she won't be putting anyone else at risk of transmission either.

@Rainb0wDrops

I probably would but I'd ask her to wait at least another week or two (partly so the vaccine has more time to work and partly so I could see what's happening with case numbers) I can see why she would want to have some independence back.

I agree with this.

No I wouldn’t, and my elderly mum is bored too.
But if she goes there by herself - which she can just about manage - it’s her decision.

@RetailGail

Both jabs? That was quick!

Nope. Loads of second jabs were booked from the 4th of Jan & despite the guidance to do only first jabs, places were able to make the final decision. Lots of places chose to continue with doing the second jabs.

I think doing twice as many people,with one jab is better, but OTOH if it was my mum, I'd be thrilled she'd had her second jab, so 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Icequeen01. I think I'd just explain to her that whilst she feels safer, it's really not fair to other people who haven't had their injections & the shop staff. How would she feel about going to a garden centre instead?

It's somewhere that CEV people don't have to go & risk to the staff lower with them being more outside & much better ventilation inside (generally anyway).

Thrilled for your Mum, but I suspect she's going to be a handful now!! 🤣

Going on her own the buy essentials yes but not two adults together, clearly the message to stay at home and only leave for essential things isn’t getting through. Supermarkets need to clamp down on being used as social outings by many putting others at risk who need essential food.

Nope, why would she want to put herself at such risk.

I'd take her. She's jabbed up, she needs to get back out there for her own mental health.

It's not a cast iron guarantee that she won't get covid. You are still meant to shield aren't you? What did the doctor tell her? Remind her now isn't the time to test her immunity when hospital are overflowing.

Yes. She's had her jabs. If she still has to live in total isolation what was the point? It's a trip to the supermarket not a night clubbing.

No, it’s an unnecessary outing. It’s around three weeks they say you should wait after the jabs for full immunity, the jab is only tested to prevent severe covid and even mild covid can cause long covid, Sainsbury’s have announced in the last day or so that it’s one adult only permitted, and she could transmit to somebody else and kill them.

Good point @IceCreamAndCandyfloss it seems some people see essential as any excuse to get out and find a reason why it is within the rules

If she wants to go in separate to you and do her own shopping (am assuming you would drive her there) then I would take her. She is 81, not 5. Pretty sure she knows her own mind, and is probably desperate to get out if she has been shut in for weeks.

I thought it was 2-3 weeks after before you have immunity? Happy to be corrected but I would try and persuade her to give it another fortnight. Cases generally will be lower then which means she will be safer even if she's the unlucky 5% who don't get good immunity from it.

Another three months and this lockdown will be behind us if people don’t go out for unnecessary trips and risk transmitting. Then your mum can enjoy going to the shops.

For a long time people have been protecting those like your mum but now she is vaccinated it is time for her to return the favour and stay in to protect everyone else.

I'd take her. Just have a discussion with her first about social distancing. We have all got used to a new etiquette in shops and if she hasn't been shopping since march then she might unknowingly get too close to people, who in turn could be annoyed/ anxious.

Yes. Yes. Yes.
It's important for her to have a semblance of a life. Walk in to Sainsbury's separately.

When my mum was in the last months of a terminal illness, her greatest joy was getting the bus and chatting to neighbours who didn't know about her illness. Being "herself" again - even for an afternoon and was so important.

If it was my mother then yes I would .

No because at this point I don't think they know if someone who has been vaccinated won't pass the virus to someone else, just that it prevents you from being ill. So your mum might still have the virus and so potentially can still it. Also isn't there a lag between being vaccinated and being protected? Happy to be corrected though.

And this is in addition to against guidelines if shopping alone.

Definitely not!

Yes I definitely would. Can you go at a time when it will be quieter, possibly early in the morning or late in the evening?

If she hasn’t been out for “weeks and weeks” how can she transmit something she hasn’t been exposed to? If people who have been vaccinated are still confined to their homes, what’s the point of vaccination at all?

Take the poor bloody woman out!