Would you take your elderly mum to Sainsbury's

[Icequeen01]

So I'm in such a quandary about this. My DM who is 81 has had both her jabs. She hasn't been out for weeks and weeks and I do her shopping each week when I do mine. She has told me she is coming with me to Sainsbury's next week as it will then be over a week since her booster. She knows she has to wear a mask, hand sanitise and socially distance etc.

I'm still not comfortable with taking her though. I've explained that they don't know if she can still transmit the virus but this is something she desperately wants to do, just to have a little bit of normality again and to be able to do her own shopping. She was very upset when I suggested she shouldn't come.

What would you do?

I absolutely understand your quandary. Maybe see if you can get her to wait another week until the vaccine is likely to have given her more immunity.

As you say you won't be walking around with her, so that isn't really a consideration. How lovely that you and your mum will be able to do some (socially distanced) things together again.

“Only 1 adult is allowed in anyway. “

Oh do give over with this line, she’s 81 and probably requires support and it IS allowed, so you are all incorrect.

I’d leave it up to her OP, she’s 81, she’s an adult, she raised you for goodness sake!

@WowIlikereallyhateyou

Nope, why would she want to put herself at such risk.

Err, she’s had the vaccine. She’s probably at more risk on the journey there than she is from Covid now! Are you suggesting the poor woman should never leave the house again? Everything in life carries a risk, including staying at home slowly losing your independence

Yes I'd let her do her own shopping.

It's supposed to be 3 weeks for maximum protection after the first jag. She's hardly had that as it is. If it was me I would wait a couple of weeks. My sons friend got the jag and then was positive for covid before the jag gave maximum protection ie covid within 3 weeks of the jag. The 3 week period for max protection seems to be crucial. You could phone your GP for advice and then blame them as I doubt they will say it's safe.

Yes she is an adult and can surely assess her own level of risk.

"Only 1 adult is allowed in"

She is one adult. The OP has been clear that her mum wants to do her own shopping whilst the OP does hers.

I think it's her decision. And no supermarket is going to turn away an 80-year-old for shopping with someone else.
I supposed you're not obliged to take her if you want to be mean. Can she get there under own steam?
But why did she have the jab except to get back to normal?

Please take her. My heart broke a little at this post. She is a grown woman who can decide what risks she takes and who is to say the greater risk isn't staying in doing nothing and seeing no one. I totally get where you are coming from (been there and back with my mum). Let us know if you do and I want to hear if she enjoyed it. I hope she gets herself a treat.

The vaccine takes a certain amount of time to work until you get full protection (I think it might be 3 weeks?). I’d wait until after that, once she’s fully protected

So it seems people are split on this.

Just to answer a few questions. To the PP who asked what her doctor said - he hasn't said anything, because she hasn't seen him for over a year. She's a fairly fit (bar an arthritic knee) 81 year old who was shielding due to her age.

Pfizer state it is 7 days after the 2nd jab for 95% immunity.

My mum wouldn't be able to get to the supermarket on her own as you need to drive there as we are quite rural.

I hear each and every one of you and you are all echoing what I am thinking. There's one part of me screaming let her have some semblance of life back and another part almost having an panic attack at the thought of taking her out!
@WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants you are so right when you say I will have my hands full now! 😀

No!

Which bit of needing to wait to see if it stops transmission is hard to understand?

Ffs the rest of us stand no chance of getting out of lockdown if people see is as a ticket to mix already

@SnowFields
You posted:
For a long time people have been protecting those like your mum but now she is vaccinated it is time for her to return the favour and stay in to protect everyone else.

I agree

I'd give it another week then take her somewhere quieter. Our m&s food Hall was a practically deserted yellow sticker haven, this morning, which suggests that I didn't even pick a particularly quiet time.

I’d take her and let her shop for herself. Full efficacy from the Pfizer vaccine is 7 days after the second dose not 3 weeks.

My 80 year old mum has been going to Sainsbury’s since May. She’s an adult, let her decide what she wants to do.

[quote Rosehassometoes]@SnowFields
You posted:
For a long time people have been protecting those like your mum but now she is vaccinated it is time for her to return the favour and stay in to protect everyone else.

I agree[/quote]
Absolutely.

How utterly selfish it would be to stitch us all up now

Does it have to be the supermarket? Could you take a walk for exercise around a local park? She can poodle along in the same way she would if she were in Sainsbury’s. Gets her out, fresh air and lower risk.

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

Yes I would take her. She is an adult, she can make her own decisions. I would be fucking pissed off if my child told me at 81 I couldn't go to the shops.

I totally agree. I am a bit younger (70), but fiercely independent. I hope to stay that way for years, and would be furious if told I couldn’t do x, y or z!

@Handcarthell

No!

Which bit of needing to wait to see if it stops transmission is hard to understand?

Ffs the rest of us stand no chance of getting out of lockdown if people see is as a ticket to mix already

What’s she going to transmit? She hasn’t been anywhere. She wants to walk round a shop, not mix or mingle or anything else.

I'd want to wait an extra week, then yes of course. Quiet times of day though.

No!! Of course not, she could still spread it.

Please please.

Stop bending the rules to suit yourself.

It's just wrong

Go early or very late whenever your store is most quiet, make it brief and presumably she will wear gloves, as well as a mask and anti bac her shopping when she gets home. She’s probably chomping at the bit for a slice of freedom! Just be sensible.

@deliciouschilli

No!! Of course not, she could still spread it.

How?