Would you take your elderly mum to Sainsbury's

[Icequeen01]

So I'm in such a quandary about this. My DM who is 81 has had both her jabs. She hasn't been out for weeks and weeks and I do her shopping each week when I do mine. She has told me she is coming with me to Sainsbury's next week as it will then be over a week since her booster. She knows she has to wear a mask, hand sanitise and socially distance etc.

I'm still not comfortable with taking her though. I've explained that they don't know if she can still transmit the virus but this is something she desperately wants to do, just to have a little bit of normality again and to be able to do her own shopping. She was very upset when I suggested she shouldn't come.

What would you do?

[quote MrsShelton]@WouldBeGood with new variants popping up the hospitals will still be full!![/quote]
How do you know? New variants might be milder versions.

@MrsShelton You seem to positively revel at the notion of this continuing indefinitely. Bizarre.

Governments wouldn't be investing billions in vaccines if:

(A) They didn't stop people falling ill; and

(B) They didn't pave a way back to normality and the lifting of restrictions when enough of the population is immunised (I think they said you need at least 60% at a minimum for herd immunity to kick in).

Scientists don't know whether vaccine stops you picking up Covid and passing it to others. They don't know that vaccines will be ineffective against the new strains. They don't have time machines, unfortunately, which is why they monitor everything.

When I was in and out of hospital in March, a healthcare worker told me they'd already identified over 30 different covid strains. Scientists said all along it would happen, because viruses mutate. They tweak the flu jab annually. It's entirely feasible they'll do the same here.

@MrsShelton

its not a mutation thoughts a variant.... very different

They absolutely are the same thing. Variants are created by a change in dna coding, otherwise known as a gene mutation.

[quote SnoozyLou]@MrsShelton

its not a mutation thoughts a variant.... very different

They absolutely are the same thing. Variants are created by a change in dna coding, otherwise known as a gene mutation. [/quote]
Just to be pedantic - They aren't the same thing at all according to the science bod on bbc news this morning

If the OP was a man, we would all be telling her mum to LTB. The control here is just extreme. Absolutely ridiculous.

Yes, she’s 81 and capable of making her own decisions
I’d be furious if my children tried to stop me from living
I’d probably get a taxi

No. It should be 3 weeks after the second jab.

[quote SnoozyLou]@MrsShelton You seem to positively revel at the notion of this continuing indefinitely. Bizarre.

Governments wouldn't be investing billions in vaccines if:

(A) They didn't stop people falling ill; and

(B) They didn't pave a way back to normality and the lifting of restrictions when enough of the population is immunised (I think they said you need at least 60% at a minimum for herd immunity to kick in).

Scientists don't know whether vaccine stops you picking up Covid and passing it to others. They don't know that vaccines will be ineffective against the new strains. They don't have time machines, unfortunately, which is why they monitor everything.

When I was in and out of hospital in March, a healthcare worker told me they'd already identified over 30 different covid strains. Scientists said all along it would happen, because viruses mutate. They tweak the flu jab annually. It's entirely feasible they'll do the same here.[/quote]
It’s not that they tweak the vaccine
It’s that top scientists and drs get together and discuss which 3 or 4 strains of flu out of 60 should they put in the vaccine

In 2017 they got it massively wrong and picked the wrong strains
That’s why the death toll was so high

So it’s very much guesswork, albeit well discussed guesswork

I feel very unhappy telling 81 yr olds that they aren't allowed to go places (otherwise legal for them to go to). Apparently this general idea (lock up the oldies for their own good) was floated as alternative to lockdown & roundly condemned. I might have gone for that plan, but I had the impression most people thought it was outrageous and completely impractical. So oldies are allowed out. They aren't supposed to hide selves away,. This was the majority decision already taken.

I would take my mum to supermarket as way of helping her to get out of there a little bit faster than if she went on her own to a similar place.

I cannot believe this thread is still going! I wasn't going to post again as I felt the discussion had gone off on different tangents. However, I just felt I had to reply to @rhowton

I can only assume you haven't read this thread from the start! At no point did I said I wouldn't take my mum. I started this thread as a discussion and I think it is obvious to anyone who read the whole thread that I wasn't sure if I would be right to "want to keep her safe". I have accepted everyone's input, some harsh and some thought provoking, in good grace. By the end of this discussion I had accepted that it had to be my mum that would make this decision not me, even if it was for the best intentions. What I won't accept is someone coming on at the end of a discussion and calling me ridiculous and extreme. That was an unfair comment. Please re-read this thread and hopefully you will understand why I am so hurt by this comment.

@Icequeen01 - how are you feeling now, I hope you are on the mend?

I'm feeling ok thank you @MRex. Although I feel like I have been hit by a bus and I have the horrible Rona cough I know I am lucky to have just minor symptoms. Unfortunately, both my DH and DS have tested positive today so we are having to reset the self isolation clock. They are a few days behind me (I think I'm day 7) and so far DH just feels as though he has a mild dose of flu and DS is a little feverish with painful joints but still not too bad.

Mine has had both PfizerBioNTech jabs, 3 weeks apart as per manufacturer guidelines.

THANK GOODNESS. Waiting 3 months for the 2nd would have destroyed her mental health.

However, I still hope she shields (on the list, gets hancock's emails etc)

I am waiting for herd immunity via sufficient numbers vaccinated and evidence of efficacy.

And rather ironically my DM's first Sainsbury's shop, after her 2nd jab has had time to kick in properly, will be via a delivery from Sainsbury's! which I have had to arrange for her!

@MrsKypp I agree about not delaying the 2nd jab, it would have been cruel.

I actually think the fact that my family have got Covid has unnerved my mum so who knows what her decision will be once I am well enough to take her.

[quote Icequeen01]@MrsKypp I agree about not delaying the 2nd jab, it would have been cruel.

I actually think the fact that my family have got Covid has unnerved my mum so who knows what her decision will be once I am well enough to take her. [/quote]
Yes, exactly - it would have been so cruel. The older age group often trust doctors without question, so changing the protocol after the 1st jab would have thrown my Mum totally. She was crying when she heard it on the news (between her 2 jabs).

Good luck to you and your family. I hope you all recover well and completely.

Good that you're not too unwell. Hope the 3 if you get well soon.

I thought I would give an update on this thread as it caused quite a debate when I posted originally.

So today I took my 81 year old mum to Sainsbury's to do her own supermarket shopping! It has been over 5 weeks since she had her 2nd Pfizer vaccination. Unfortunately, I tested positive for Covid four weeks ago and was quite unwell for the second week which meant my mum became even more isolated as I couldn't chat to her on the telephone and my DH had to arrange to have her shopping delivered.

I have pretty much recovered now so she asked again about going to Sainsbury's to do her own shopping. However, the fantasy I had about her loving ever second of her tiny bit of freedom was just that, a fantasy. My mum found it very stressful. When we got there she couldn't remember where anything was, couldn't remember how to use the scanner and then she became upset when she couldn't remember the pin number for her card. It really hit me how much her memory has deteriorated and her confidence has been eroded since last March due to her being locked away. It was really very sad to see and I am guessing she won't be the only elderly person to feel this way.

I am hoping she will regain her confidence in time. She doesn't meet up with friends or have anyone in her house. She has walked once to her local post office and was thrilled by the fact she had a SD chat with someone about their dog!

So I will continue to take her to Sainsbury's all the time she wants to go. I'm sure many people will disagree with me but I do feel my mum needs to be able to take a few tentative steps back into the world before she loses the ability to do so.

Yes

My mother is 85 and yes, sometimes I take her shopping with me. She wears a mask( properly) and hand sanitises. She lives alone and is more at risk of dying from loneliness or suicide than Covid.
If a controlled trip to Aldi lifts her spirits, then hell yes, we're going. My 4 siblings live overseas and now cant come and visit her, neither can any of her grandchildren. My father died in December. I'm not imprisoning her any more.