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Covid

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Original poster

Would you take your elderly mum to Sainsbury's

870 replies

Icequeen01 · 12/01/2021 18:15

So I'm in such a quandary about this. My DM who is 81 has had both her jabs. She hasn't been out for weeks and weeks and I do her shopping each week when I do mine. She has told me she is coming with me to Sainsbury's next week as it will then be over a week since her booster. She knows she has to wear a mask, hand sanitise and socially distance etc.

I'm still not comfortable with taking her though. I've explained that they don't know if she can still transmit the virus but this is something she desperately wants to do, just to have a little bit of normality again and to be able to do her own shopping. She was very upset when I suggested she shouldn't come.

What would you do?

OP posts:

charliespie · 12/01/2021 19:32

I take my nanna who is 90. She did her own shopping up until about 6 weeks ago when she finally admitted the struggle was growing. She has every right to go to the supermarket and I fully intent to continue to take her.

charliespie · 12/01/2021 19:34

Oh behave. I know plenty of 80 year olds who go to the shops by themselves, even though they shouldn't really

I do as well. But it's not for anyone to tell a poster their 81 year old mum should go by herself. It's perfectly acceptable to take an older person shopping.

Marmunia1975 · 12/01/2021 19:34

The vaccine is not a magic bullet and there is no evidence that people who are vaccinated won't pass it on.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 12/01/2021 19:37

If she's fully vaccinated I probably would tbh.

CrazyFoxLady · 12/01/2021 19:37

@PJsEveryday I think you are correct. Just because your mum has had both the vaccines and will have increased protection for herself, she can still carry Covid without being as ill. My belief is that it works in the same way as a flu jab - you are protected yourself, but you can still carry the virus and infect others.

I understand your mums frustration, but this is more about stopping the spread, and she will be helping this.

MrsMiaWallis · 12/01/2021 19:38

@BrokenLink

I would take my elderly mother out to the shops 3 weeks after her first dose, because no one has become seriously ill 3 weeks after the first dose of vaccine. Her mental health is important too.

Sadly a nurse contracted it a month after his first dose.

tinselearedcow · 12/01/2021 19:38

@Marmunia1975

The vaccine is not a magic bullet and there is no evidence that people who are vaccinated won't pass it on.

So people who have not been vaccinated should not go to the shops?

I don't understand some of the posters. It might be unwise for an 80+ year old to go shopping, but it is allowed and lots do.

oneglassandpuzzled · 12/01/2021 19:39

@Icequeen01

So it seems people are split on this.

Just to answer a few questions. To the PP who asked what her doctor said - he hasn't said anything, because she hasn't seen him for over a year. She's a fairly fit (bar an arthritic knee) 81 year old who was shielding due to her age.

Pfizer state it is 7 days after the 2nd jab for 95% immunity.

My mum wouldn't be able to get to the supermarket on her own as you need to drive there as we are quite rural.

I hear each and every one of you and you are all echoing what I am thinking. There's one part of me screaming let her have some semblance of life back and another part almost having an panic attack at the thought of taking her out!
@WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants you are so right when you say I will have my hands full now! 😀

My mother is 83 and will be driving herself to Waitrose/Sainsbury next week. She had her second Pfizer jab last Thursday. I can't see any reason why she shouldn't do this: she is meticulous about distancing and masks, etc. It is bad for old people to be deskilled of things they used to do perfectly competently unless there's a compelling reason like a raging virus, which some of them have now been vaccinated against.

Justbeing5 · 12/01/2021 19:39

Oh come on she can make her own decision. The question is does she need a lift. It's not 2 people shopping for one household, she's doing her own shopping. And last I heard that was within the rules.

Handcarthell · 12/01/2021 19:40

This post isn't about helping an elderly person who needs to get food

It's a post about is it ok to suddenly stop shielding because you'd been lucky enough to have 2 jabs and have a trip to the supermarket because you want to.

OP knows herself she shouldn't do it, hence the quandary.

Heffle · 12/01/2021 19:41

Yes of course - you’re giving her a lift!

charliespie · 12/01/2021 19:43

It's a post about is it ok to suddenly stop shielding because you'd been lucky enough to have 2 jabs and have a trip to the supermarket because you want to.

Shielding?

crimsonlake · 12/01/2021 19:43

My mum is 86 and has heard nothing about the jab, yet some people have already had 2 doses.

Handcarthell · 12/01/2021 19:44

@charliespie

It's a post about is it ok to suddenly stop shielding because you'd been lucky enough to have 2 jabs and have a trip to the supermarket because you want to.

Shielding?

Not going out for weeks and weeks is shielding from something....

tinselearedcow · 12/01/2021 19:45

Where does it say OPs mum was shielding, Handcarthell?

Hope4theBestPlan4theWorst · 12/01/2021 19:45

No chance - why would you even consider that????

1 person 1 trolley

Sainsbury's is not a day trip it's a necessary place to buy food not a mooch out

Handcarthell · 12/01/2021 19:46

@tinselearedcow

Where does it say OPs mum was shielding, Handcarthell?

What else would you call Not going out for weeks and weeks.

1forAll74 · 12/01/2021 19:46

No, it would be foolish at the moment. Supermarkets are being stricter now, and really telling people to shop alone. Being vaccinated doesn't mean that all will be perfectly safe for you right now.

charliespie · 12/01/2021 19:47

Not going out for weeks and weeks is shielding from something....

Shielding is an official term used to describe those on a specific list who need to, well, shield.

OPs mother has a dodgy knee and is otherwise fit and well. She wasn't bloody shielding. She was staying at home. Isolating? Through choice.

You say is it ok to stop shielding now the mum has been vaccinated but she was never required to shield, so that's not really the question at all.

RedToothBrush · 12/01/2021 19:47

Whats the difference between a bored 18 year old who wont get severe covid and a bored 81 year old who wont get covid.

And its possible that both could still transmit it.

And both would be breaking the rules.

The problem is that others seeing people breaking the rules encourage them to also break the rules.

And thats why we shouldnt be going 'well im alright now Jack, i can ignore things' because you lead to a breakdown in compliance which has consequences for other people who have not had a jab.

Tell her she needs to grow up and take responsibility just like 18 year olds are being asked to do for the community.

2bazookas · 12/01/2021 19:47

@VinylDetective

If she hasn’t been out for “weeks and weeks” how can she transmit something she hasn’t been exposed to? If people who have been vaccinated are still confined to their homes, what’s the point of vaccination at all?

Take the poor bloody woman out!

She has been out twice, to get vaccinated. Presumably she was vaccinated indoors in a place frequented by numerous stranmgers,staff and people getting vaccinated.

Her vaccinations haven't yet had time to produce optimum immune response.

Even when they do, there's no guaranteed protection against infection. (Older people have weaker immune systems anyway. The level of protection in vaccinated 80 yr olds will only become apparent in a few months time.).

Now would be a really, really bad time for her to get ill. NHS under maximum pressure.

Just hold on for another month or two. I wouldnt risk my Mum for the sake of a trip to Sainsbury's.

Original poster

Icequeen01 · 12/01/2021 19:47

@Handcarthell That just isn't true. I honestly don't know what the right thing to do is. My mum's memory has become really poor since she's been locked down and she is noticing it too and gets upset. I believe this is because she is stuck indoors all day on her own. A big part of me thinks I should take her with me so she can start to use her mind again before it ceases up completely.

As I said previously, I would purely be a lift for her as we shop separately. The only time I meet up with her is at the scan and shop tills as she can't quite get the hang of the tills.

OP posts:

Handcarthell · 12/01/2021 19:48

@charliespie

Not going out for weeks and weeks is shielding from something....

Shielding is an official term used to describe those on a specific list who need to, well, shield.

OPs mother has a dodgy knee and is otherwise fit and well. She wasn't bloody shielding. She was staying at home. Isolating? Through choice.

You say is it ok to stop shielding now the mum has been vaccinated but she was never required to shield, so that's not really the question at all.

I have said it's not bloody ok to suddenly start doing what you having been doing (call it what the hell you like) just because you've suddenly had 2 vaccines.

And definitely not go shopping because you want a trip out

MrsMiaWallis · 12/01/2021 19:49

@RedToothBrush