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Original poster

I just need to vent - elderly relative has Covid due to selfishness of others

294 replies

Rinoachicken · 12/01/2021 10:20

So my elderly grandfather who is 97 and lives alone has been rushed to hospital with Covid and is now on oxygen.

Where did he get it from?

From my aunt and uncle, who provide some of his care along with my parents, and who couldn’t bear to not go on their annual Christmas holiday abroad because they are ‘special’ don’t you know and NEEDED to go. So having spent hours in germy airports and breathing recycled air on planes, they then couldnt be bothered to quarantine when they got home and instead went to visit my grandfather.

And then promptly came down with Covid.

No longer able to provide their share of care my parents did it all. No grandfather is in hospital fighting for his life and we have to wait and see if my parents have caught it from providing his care.

All because my fucking aunt and uncle thought they were more important than everyone else and that the rules didn’t apply to them. Goodness knows how many other people they have infected swanning about the community when they should have been quarantining.

Apparently they feel ‘really guilty’ now.

All they had to do to protect him was STAY AWAY. Just for 10 days would have been sufficient. They would have got the symptoms, tested positive, isolated etc but he would have been safe.

FFS

OP posts:
Bohemiagirl · 13/01/2021 07:55

The chances are that wherever they went had a lower rate of infection than the UK! Those of you who are saying that borders should have been closed are missing the point that for months now the virus has been here, and in the last few weeks has been spreading fast. It's not people bringing it back from abroad causing the current rise in cases.

That being said, they should have quarantined as they would have been mixing with lots of people. Anyone visiting the grandfather should be minimising their contacts elsewhere.

Northernsoulgirl45 · 13/01/2021 08:37

Sorry OP. I hope his symptoms are mild and he recovers well.

SnoozyLou · 13/01/2021 11:48

The chances are that wherever they went had a lower rate of infection than the UK! Those of you who are saying that borders should have been closed are missing the point that for months now the virus has been here, and in the last few weeks has been spreading fast. It's not people bringing it back from abroad causing the current rise in cases.

What, an airport? I find that very unlikely. And if flights are so safe, when that person boarded a plane with covid and died mid flight before Christmas (which itself beggars belief), how come numerous passengers subsequently came down with it?

Original poster
Rinoachicken · 13/01/2021 12:08

R rate of the place they went was 1.5

OP posts:
Spiratedaway · 13/01/2021 14:04

[quote hamsterchump]@spiratedaway You can't really believe that, it's so stupid it's impossible! So you'd be exactly the same level of upset would you if your 87 year old Grandparent died as if your 17 year old child did? Grow up.[/quote]
Why don't you grow up a life is a life seriously

time4anothername · 13/01/2021 14:27

I hope your grandfather will make it OP, even at this age there is still good hope he will. I'd be unspeakably angry too at the way your Uncle let denial and ignorance put your GF at risk. Even though GF is not well enough to speak and I guess the staff have so little time for supporting communications, I hope they can hold up a phone or something for him so that he could hear your voice wishing him well and knowing you're urging him on to recovery.

Unsure33 · 14/01/2021 22:37

How are things OP.?

ConquestEmpireHungerPlague · 14/01/2021 23:42

All good wishes for your grandfather's recovery, @Rinoachicken. Flowers

Original poster
Rinoachicken · 16/01/2021 18:28

He’s stable atm. On a lot of oxygen.

OP posts:
SunshineandShudders · 16/01/2021 18:42

I hate this blame. You don't know Grandad caught it from them and you don't know they caught it because of their holiday. Your parents must have known they'd been away, why didn't they do all the care for the quarantine period, as they must have while they were away?

I caught it just before Christmas and DH ended up in hospital. I'd have sworn I had no risk, I followed all the rules and had taken addition precautions above and beyond. I'd been really very careful, but I still managed to pick it up and DH became seriously ill as a result. On top of dealing with that, I had to face the fact that it was all my fault and others' assumption that I must have done something reckless.

I hope your relative is OK, but it's not helpful to want to blame someone.

GretaSheen · 16/01/2021 18:50

Hope he pulls through OP.

My 75 Yr old dad just died from Covid. We had the same set up as you and your family (me and DC were their carers).

None of us had been out for weeks and weeks. But dad had some falls which resulted in ambulances being called. He must have got it from one of them. God know how many other people they would have infected that night.. my mum, DC and I also got it from my dad (all CEV).

It's just all so sad and I really don't blame your anger. Flowers

Spiratedaway · 16/01/2021 19:26

@GretaSheen

Hope he pulls through OP.

My 75 Yr old dad just died from Covid. We had the same set up as you and your family (me and DC were their carers).

None of us had been out for weeks and weeks. But dad had some falls which resulted in ambulances being called. He must have got it from one of them. God know how many other people they would have infected that night.. my mum, DC and I also got it from my dad (all CEV).

It's just all so sad and I really don't blame your anger. Flowers

So so sorry. X
SnoozyLou · 16/01/2021 20:46

I hate this blame. You don't know Grandad caught it from them and you don't know they caught it because of their holiday. Your parents must have known they'd been away, why didn't they do all the care for the quarantine period, as they must have while they were away?

Are you for real? 😳

SunshineandShudders · 16/01/2021 20:48

@SnoozyLou

I hate this blame. You don't know Grandad caught it from them and you don't know they caught it because of their holiday. Your parents must have known they'd been away, why didn't they do all the care for the quarantine period, as they must have while they were away?

Are you for real? 😳

Are you for real when you've quoted half the past that went on to explain why I was making this point?
EvieBoo2 · 16/01/2021 20:52

I'm so sorry. I would be angry too and I really hope he pulls through. Sending hugs x

soupmaker · 16/01/2021 20:59

So sorry OP. I'd be absolutely raging too. Keeping everything crossed for your grandad.

I am so angry that the UK government didn't learn the lessons from other countries. It's taken 10 month to shut our borders, they've not done what WHO have said is absolutely necessary- test, test, test, have proper quarantine and testing before anyone who does arrive moves on. They are just as culpable. Your selfish relatives went on holiday because they could - they shouldn't have been able to.

iftherewereahorseyinthehouse · 16/01/2021 21:30

@Spiratedaway a seventeen year old child losing their life is infinitely worse than a 97 year old dying. Imagine if that was your child and your grandfather. There's no comparison.

I'm not sure where that argument came from but it's not to devalue the op's upset. Hopefully her grandfather will pull through.

Fairymad · 16/01/2021 21:39

@SunshineandShudders

I hate this blame. You don't know Grandad caught it from them and you don't know they caught it because of their holiday. Your parents must have known they'd been away, why didn't they do all the care for the quarantine period, as they must have while they were away?

I caught it just before Christmas and DH ended up in hospital. I'd have sworn I had no risk, I followed all the rules and had taken addition precautions above and beyond. I'd been really very careful, but I still managed to pick it up and DH became seriously ill as a result. On top of dealing with that, I had to face the fact that it was all my fault and others' assumption that I must have done something reckless.

I hope your relative is OK, but it's not helpful to want to blame someone.

Have you not read the thread, op stated her grandad didn't leave the house, her parents were sharing the care and prepared to cover the quarantine period, her aunt and uncle chose not to quarantine let themselves in the house and then tested positive. It is reasonable blame I would be fuming if this was my gp. Op I hope your grandfather gets through this x
ICUNurse · 16/01/2021 21:42

OP I’m so sorry. Unfortunately this case is not unique and hospitals all over the country are overflowing because of it.

SnoozyLou · 16/01/2021 21:54

@SunshineandShudders The uncle and aunt had it.

SnoozyLou · 16/01/2021 21:58

@SunshineandShudders Following all the rules and still getting it is a very different thing to putting your family at risk for the sake of a week in the sun, and not even giving them an option.

You need to stop blaming yourself. You can pick it up and not know, and pass it on, even following all the rules, unfortunately. There is a very big difference between this and that.

lljkk · 16/01/2021 22:00

The aunt & uncle could have caught the covid from exposure inside the UK. There's lots of covid inside the UK. Nobody can prove different.

MartiniDry · 16/01/2021 22:19

I'm reading this with tears in my eyes. Your restraint is breathtaking and I don't know how you manage not to go booloo at your aunt and uncle.
I hope so very, very much that your beloved Grandad overcomes this awful virus. Sending you both much love.

OppsUpsSide · 16/01/2021 22:21

Wankers.

maturinsslothe · 16/01/2021 22:49

Well the grandfather must have known the aunt and uncle had been abroad, surely, and known that they hadn't quarantined?