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Has everyone really stopped having sex?

194 replies

notevenat20 · 04/01/2021 07:01

It’s early and I am stressed so what better than to worry about other peoples sex life.

Have all the single (or maybe not single) women here really just not had sex with anyone new in 2020? Have teenagers really stopped shagging? It just seems inhuman if true.

OP posts:
Sarahandduck18 · 04/01/2021 16:04

It is quite chilling how much control we have handed over.

So many lives will now never exist.

The human population was already on an extinction course. The covid response has undoubtedly speeded that up.

Eckhart · 04/01/2021 16:08

What? You could meet a total stranger online right now, and be in bed with them within the hour. With 10 days notice, you could do the same without breaching any guidelines. The only people who can't carry on as they were are those who were having sex more than once every 10 days with a different person every time. That's a very small percentage of the population, and nobody needs that much stranger-sex. If they feel they do, they need to have a serious look at themselves. It's unhealthy in more ways than COVID.

BertramLacey · 04/01/2021 17:29

The human population was already on an extinction course. The covid response has undoubtedly speeded that up.

World population forecast exceeds 8 billion by 2025. If that's extinction, I don't want to see reproductive success. If we're breeding a little less, ultimately it will be better for us and the planet. I recognise that an ageing population can be problematic, but not half as problematic as continued population increase.

Rosehip10 · 04/01/2021 17:31

Didn't I read on here that more people were get harassed to do anal due to Covid? Confused

notevenat20 · 04/01/2021 17:34

Didn't I read on here that more people were get harassed to do anal due to Covid?

?!?!

That needs an explanation!

OP posts:
Ladydowntheroad · 04/01/2021 17:34

@Bubblemonkey

Nobody’s gonna die from lack of sex. I assume most people have hands, sort yourself out.
Grin
notevenat20 · 04/01/2021 17:36

What? You could meet a total stranger online right now, and be in bed with them within the hour

I am not sure this is true. Does this need you to live on your own and neither of you to live in a house with anyone who has formed a bubble with anyone else?

OP posts:
Sarahandduck18 · 04/01/2021 18:03

The forecast is for the population to begin a terminal decline by year end of the century.

Blondiney · 04/01/2021 18:09

I see. I hadn't realised. What happens to women?

Cobwebs. Lots of cobwebs.

WanderingFruitWonderer · 05/01/2021 05:40

No cobwebs for me, as a chosen celibate. Just lots of beautiful flowers! Celibacy rocks (for some of us) 🌼🌸Smile

Angelofdeath · 05/01/2021 06:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whatshalliget · 05/01/2021 07:27

No sex for 4 years and 4 months now. Not sure I will ever be in a relationship again - as much as I would like to be - so that might be it for me. Makes me very sad though.

Far too shy for one night stands and also don’t want to be / couldn’t be intimate with virtual strangers.

Don’t think sex can be compared to food though in terms of how much we need it! Also agree that it’s the lack of being able to touch other people at all this year which has been awful. I can feel myself turning into a hermit (alone in my house with three teens Grin).

Malahaha · 05/01/2021 08:57

@Toilenstripes

Teenagers? Seriously? That’s a broad spectrum, but even so none of them are going to die if they don’t get to fuck someone.
They really don't die if they don't have sex. They don't even get sick. It's a cultural thing.

I'm old enough to remember my teens (not in the UK) when girls still believed in "no sex before marriage". Boys of course wanted sex, but couldn't have it because their girlfriends didn't comply. Somehow, those boys learned to control themselves.

Granted, by the time they were 17 or 18, girls in long-term relationships did have sex with their boyfriends (because the boys harassed then into doing so), and sometimes they married those boys -- certainly so if they were careless and got pregnant!

The thing is though -- none of us, neither boys nor girls, thought of sex as something we HAD TO HAVE OTHERWISE OMG WE'LL GO CRAZY!

Boys, knowing this, had to control their urges. There are ways of doing this. In traditional India, teenage boys were taught meditation/yogic practices that reduced the sexual urge, and, just like girls, understood that it was better to be celibate before marriage. One Indian man told me that Hindu boys back in the day were taught to regard all women as their sisters or mothers; that apparently helps. I btw am not Indian or Hindu.

This of course is the traditional cultural teaching. I doubt that it still holds. Now Indian boys are as much porn obsessed as Westerners! :(

This is just to reinforce the argument that it's not a need, it's a desire, and a desire we can train into submission if we want to. Most people don't want to, though.

Blondiney · 05/01/2021 09:21

@WanderingFruitWonderer

No cobwebs for me, as a chosen celibate. Just lots of beautiful flowers! Celibacy rocks (for some of us) 🌼🌸Smile
Yes, it's been a decade for me and I'm perfectly content. I might have lost my sex drive but fortunately my sense of humour is still intact. Smile
BertramLacey · 05/01/2021 09:34

I'm old enough to remember my teens (not in the UK) when girls still believed in "no sex before marriage". Boys of course wanted sex, but couldn't have it because their girlfriends didn't comply. Somehow, those boys learned to control themselves.

Granted, by the time they were 17 or 18, girls in long-term relationships did have sex with their boyfriends (because the boys harassed then into doing so)

It may just have been that the girls also wanted to have sex. Teenage girls can be just as hormonally driven and desiring of sex as boys are. They are often taught to disguise it more. Your model of boys as wanting sex, girls as withholding it just reinforces that model and that behaviour. But actually girls can be just as desiring, and boys can be just as able to control themselves.

This explanation to the lyrics of 'Baby it's cold outside' is a good way to consider the problems of suppressing female desire. www.thepoke.co.uk/2018/12/06/teachers-take-original-meaning-baby-cold-outside-went-viral-many-people-misunderstand/

Tdaadfb100 · 05/01/2021 09:45

@Jackblackcat

Left my ex during lockdown one.

Started dating/having casual sex pretty much immediately, about 25 sexual partners between July and November.

I had an antibodies test through work quite early on in the pandemic though so knew I had antibodies, although if I'm honest I don't know if that would have changed my behaviour if I had not.

Been dating the same guy now since November and we have bubbled, even though technically breaking the rules still because he is not the person I bubbled with back in September.

25! Blimey, you’ve been busy! I’m well jell! 🤣 I barely know 25 people, let alone anyone I’d want to have sex with!
SomeoneInTheLaaaaaounge · 05/01/2021 10:10

It’s been fucking years mate.... lockdown is a good cover for being like the Sahara

SomeoneInTheLaaaaaounge · 05/01/2021 10:10

@Tdaadfb100

Mate have one for me please!!!!

movingonup20 · 05/01/2021 10:26

We have a few teenagers/young adults between us and I can assure you they have not been celibate since March. They are not that compliant with the law.

coronaway · 05/01/2021 10:36

Sex would involve finding a decent man to have it with so I've been without sex for years now Blush

Malahaha · 05/01/2021 10:43

It may just have been that the girls also wanted to have sex. Teenage girls can be just as hormonally driven and desiring of sex as boys are. They are often taught to disguise it more. Your model of boys as wanting sex, girls as withholding it just reinforces that model and that behaviour. But actually girls can be just as desiring, and boys can be just as able to control themselves.

I can't speak for other girls and how they felt, but I had absolutely NO sex drive, not even when I was 18 and was cajoled into having it for the first time. I did it finally because it was, by then, the "done thing".

One of my best friends, I believe, did have a pretty strong sex drive. I don't think by other best friend was particularly eager herself; she was cajoled, like me.

I do think that the atmosphere around you has an effect. In a highly sexualised culture, like we have today, with even children as young as 12 thinking about sex, the latent urge might be prematurely stimulated, so that desire follows upon thought. In a more prudish society, it's held back. We are led to believe that "holding back", restraining sexual urges, is damaging to mental health, but I don't think there's proof of that.

Waiting for the "right" person never hurt anybody.

notevenat20 · 05/01/2021 10:45

I used to have a friend who would just go a pub and sit at the bar with a drink and a book. That was her entire pulling technique. She got through roughly the same number of men as books I used to claim.

OP posts:
NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 05/01/2021 10:49

I'm single and ....yep, unfortunately I have: stopped having sex.

I either break the rules or I stop. And I stopped. The rules are frequently stupid and I don't think the situation has been well handled at times but ..... who am I to decide that they don't apply to me?

At the end of all this shit (soon, it's coming: promise) I shall need a 'Beginner's Guide to Sex for the Out of Practice Woman'. Is there such a book? Should I write one?

Malahaha · 05/01/2021 10:56

... but the point I'm trying to make is that teenagers, boys as well as girls, don't HAVE to be screwing like rabbits, and to assume they all want to or have to and can't control themselves at all, and that self-control is bad, is not really helpful. It's all a matter of prevalent culture and attitudes towards sex.

BertramLacey · 05/01/2021 11:00

I shall need a 'Beginner's Guide to Sex for the Out of Practice Woman'. Is there such a book? Should I write one?

Doing the research would be fun.

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