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So I've had to lie to the school

503 replies

WankPuffins · 03/01/2021 18:06

My dad is 86 and isn't coping.

He's in our support bubble but lives two hours away (which I know some people don't agree with and I've been jumped on on her about it before, but I am his only family so what can we do).

Dh has had to go and get him just now. He called us saying he can't take this anymore, he's worried about my baby in all this with her having two older siblings at school/college, he can't sleep and he can't eat. He's scared to leave his house and he's got no food in. He said he was considering taking all his sleeping pills but he couldn't when he thought of my children.

We then FaceTimed him so we could actually see him after he called and he's visibly lost weight. It's clear he's not been eating. We can't leave him alone. I honestly think he'll end his life if we do. So he's coming here.

Dd is supposed to go back to school tomorrow. I've just posted on another thread that they sent a heavy handed email basically pre emting people making excuses.

I don't want her going to school while my dad is here. We've not left the house apart from one click and collect since Dh took him home on Boxing Day. So we are as safe as can be.

Our area is now in T4 and cases are rising.

I've emailed to say a family member in our support bubble showed symptoms today after seeing us on Friday.

They have emailed back asking for proof of the relatives positive or negative test so they can say when Dd returns to school.

Obviously there is no test. But we couldn't be honest and risk a fine.

Flame away at me lying. But I feel like I'm inbetween a rock and a hard place with Dd and my dad.

And now I feel like I'll be under scrutiny from the school.

OP posts:
WankPuffins · 03/01/2021 18:07

I was on the fence anyway about sending her back. But I can't risk it with my dad here. He's had cancer in the past 18 months.

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 03/01/2021 18:08

Well you’re under scrutiny because you’re lying and, from a safeguarding point of view, that looks really fishy. If you were honest you wouldn’t have been fined and all would have been ok. Now it looks like you’re trying to hide her.

Ring school. Tell them the truth.

HmmSureJan · 03/01/2021 18:08

Give yourself some breathing space by saying you all need to isolate for 14 days. I think schools will shut in a week anyway.

PurpleBirch · 03/01/2021 18:08

They can’t actually insist on seeing a test result.

StatisticalSense · 03/01/2021 18:09

You have potentially destroyed the education of hundreds of other children so that you can transport in a relative from hundreds of miles away?

AldiAisleofCrap · 03/01/2021 18:09

@WankPuffins just tell the school you cannot give a third parties medical info.

GhostPepperTears · 03/01/2021 18:09

Sorry OP I don't know the answer but I do think it absolutely immoral to force parents into deciding between genuinely doing what they think is right for the safety of their family and pressure and fines from schools.

It's not like you've plucked the idea of schools being a risk out of thin air. Half the country is locked in debate about it. More understanding should be shown here.

HmmSureJan · 03/01/2021 18:09

Sorry missed that you'd already emailed. Say no! It's not your information to share. It's your relatives PRIVATE test results with their details etc.

DecemberSun · 03/01/2021 18:09

I understand your position and agree with you.

Say your father is too frail to have swabs jammed up his nose and down his throat so he's going to isolate as are the rest of the family.

YouJustDoYou · 03/01/2021 18:09

No flaming here Op. This is so hard for so many people, and to be guilted into sending children to school is just awful.

SallyTimms · 03/01/2021 18:10

Schools cannot ask for proof of a pupil's test, let alone a relative's test. Advise them the relative is not obliged to provide this. Keep us updated if any probs

OverTheRainbow88 · 03/01/2021 18:11

It’s 10 days not 14 so don’t get that wrong.

They can’t ask to see proof.

I’m sorry you’re in such a hard situation.

cardibach · 03/01/2021 18:11

@StatisticalSense

You have potentially destroyed the education of hundreds of other children so that you can transport in a relative from hundreds of miles away?
How? She’s not sending her DD in. I doubt the relative will be infecting anyone...
Zlistceleb · 03/01/2021 18:11

I'm so sorry that your poor dad is having such a rough time. I wouldn't flame you as quite frankly, in the same circs, I'd do the same thing. Im not sure what other choice (realistic choice) you have.

So sorry

AldiAisleofCrap · 03/01/2021 18:11

You have potentially destroyed the education of hundreds of other children so that you can transport in a relative from hundreds of miles away?
@StatisticalSense what! They are her dads bubble he is vulnerable with no food.
How is her daughter not going to school going to affect anyone else’s education!

borageforager · 03/01/2021 18:11

@StatisticalSense

You have potentially destroyed the education of hundreds of other children so that you can transport in a relative from hundreds of miles away?
How do you work this out?
starrynight19 · 03/01/2021 18:12

I’m so sorry your in such a terrible situation. Your priority rightly needs to be your family.
I hope your dad feels better once he gets to yours Flowers

Stinkywizzleteets · 03/01/2021 18:12

The school has no right to access the data of anyone in your extended family. Tell them to bugger off and fight any fine in court. I can’t believe some schools are still opening.

Panickingpavlova · 03/01/2021 18:12

Oh god...

Op what a horrific situation. I'd have done the same for my df too. He's passed away now sadly.

If they are asking for someone else's result... Then surely that's a breach of gdp?

Can you say I'm sorry they don't want to give it! What can they do! It's very rude..

OverTheRainbow88 · 03/01/2021 18:12

@StatisticalSense

That’s not true at all, as OPs kids haven’t been at school for 2 weeks so the bubble won’t burst!

Whatwouldscullydo · 03/01/2021 18:12

I dont really know what to say about where you stand with regards to school ajd fines etc

But I will say, stop beating yourself up about trying to look after your family. I do believe we shouldn't be able to make our own kinds up about whats right for our families and if keeping uoirs home is what you feel is best then that's what you should do. Just because someone else feels different doesn't make your decision wrong for you.

Doesn't sound like you had much choice with your dad.

I guess you just have to try and string the school on fir a bit say you cant get one or something

Flowers
starrynight19 · 03/01/2021 18:13

@StatisticalSense

You have potentially destroyed the education of hundreds of other children so that you can transport in a relative from hundreds of miles away?
Some people are so fixated on complaining they don’t even read posts now
AldiAisleofCrap · 03/01/2021 18:13

Say your father is too frail to have swabs jammed up his nose and down his throat so he's going to isolate as are the rest of the family.
THIS

TheSilentStars · 03/01/2021 18:13

Sorry that you and your dad are having a tough time.
I don't really understand the bubble thing or the hoops you have to go through (not in the UK) with schools, but if my elderly relativr was suffering, then I'd do the same. Flowers

Pugdoglife · 03/01/2021 18:13

You could say the relative couldn't have a test (e.g. small child wouldn't comply) and therefore you all need to isolate but can't provide test results