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Original poster

So I've had to lie to the school

503 replies

WankPuffins · 03/01/2021 18:06

My dad is 86 and isn't coping.

He's in our support bubble but lives two hours away (which I know some people don't agree with and I've been jumped on on her about it before, but I am his only family so what can we do).

Dh has had to go and get him just now. He called us saying he can't take this anymore, he's worried about my baby in all this with her having two older siblings at school/college, he can't sleep and he can't eat. He's scared to leave his house and he's got no food in. He said he was considering taking all his sleeping pills but he couldn't when he thought of my children.

We then FaceTimed him so we could actually see him after he called and he's visibly lost weight. It's clear he's not been eating. We can't leave him alone. I honestly think he'll end his life if we do. So he's coming here.

Dd is supposed to go back to school tomorrow. I've just posted on another thread that they sent a heavy handed email basically pre emting people making excuses.

I don't want her going to school while my dad is here. We've not left the house apart from one click and collect since Dh took him home on Boxing Day. So we are as safe as can be.

Our area is now in T4 and cases are rising.

I've emailed to say a family member in our support bubble showed symptoms today after seeing us on Friday.

They have emailed back asking for proof of the relatives positive or negative test so they can say when Dd returns to school.

Obviously there is no test. But we couldn't be honest and risk a fine.

Flame away at me lying. But I feel like I'm inbetween a rock and a hard place with Dd and my dad.

And now I feel like I'll be under scrutiny from the school.

OP posts:
Whatwouldscullydo · 03/01/2021 18:14

Should be able to decide what's best

Ffs sorry fir typo

yankeedoodledandee · 03/01/2021 18:14

@StatisticalSense

You have potentially destroyed the education of hundreds of other children so that you can transport in a relative from hundreds of miles away?

Eh? What on earth do you mean?

OP I wouldn't have lied, I would have simply called in the moring and said 'X won't be in' - you don't need lies or elaborate stories. Just the facts.

TodaysFishIsTroutALaCreme · 03/01/2021 18:14

@StatisticalSense

You have potentially destroyed the education of hundreds of other children so that you can transport in a relative from hundreds of miles away?
How? How has OP done that? She intends to keep her child off school so how is that jeopardising any child's education?
Motorina · 03/01/2021 18:14

@PurpleBirch

They can’t actually insist on seeing a test result.
Particularly not when it's not even the pupil who's "Symptomatic."

"He's not comfortable sharing his medical information." Or, "He's not happy to take a test."

Justcallmecaptainobvious · 03/01/2021 18:14

@StatisticalSense how do you work that one out? It doesn’t affect anyone else.

OP I would have pulled my child out too. Personally I probably would have told the truth and dealt with any pushback , but I’m in a financial position to pay a fine and understand not everyone is.

sadpapercourtesan · 03/01/2021 18:15

I'd do the same in a heartbeat for my dad OP. He's also in his 80s and tends to stop eating when he's struggling, and also survived cancer in the past couple of years.

Just tell the school you can't share someone else's medical information with them. They have no right to ask for it, just stay calm and stand your ground - you won't be the only parent not sending a child in this week, and your reasons are just as good as anyone else's.

AIMD · 03/01/2021 18:15

How old is your daughter?

Either tell the truth.....
Or Tell them your relative does not give permission for you to share his result and then say it is irrelevant anyway as you will keep her off to protect your vulnerable family members who is now living with you (to transition between the lie and truth 😂).

Original poster
WankPuffins · 03/01/2021 18:16

I just wasn't thinking. I had literally posted "what if...." and then it all kicked off so I just emailed the school with what I was thinking.

How am I depriving anyone else of education? They haven't been in school for two weeks?

OP posts:
Candiscophonous · 03/01/2021 18:16

I’d do the same op.

Original poster
WankPuffins · 03/01/2021 18:16

She's 6, year 2

OP posts:
Candiscophonous · 03/01/2021 18:16

You are bit depriving anyone else of an education.

MarieG10 · 03/01/2021 18:17

@SallyTimms

Schools cannot ask for proof of a pupil's test

What reference or guidance do you have for that or is it your personal view ?

It is a fairly routine request to ensure that students or employees don't come back to work without a negative test or too early if positive

CodenameVillanelle · 03/01/2021 18:18

YANBU
Just don't engage with their request for a test. They have no right to ask for one.
What are you going to do at the end of the ten days? Can you look after your dad in the house but separately from your kids?

Candiscophonous · 03/01/2021 18:18

Omg sorry. You are not. Not you are a bit !!!! Predictive text fail!

AIMD · 03/01/2021 18:18

Also to add op the head tea her would t have to refer you for a fine. If they do so they are choosing to do so. Also head teachers can decide what is considered exceptional circumstances to be able to authorise an absence. There may well be a local authority or school policy to refer for a fine after x amount of time off. Might be worth searching what your local authorities stance is on fines for non attendance...it Varys a lot:

Noellodee · 03/01/2021 18:19

@StatisticalSense

You have potentially destroyed the education of hundreds of other children so that you can transport in a relative from hundreds of miles away?
No, she hasn't. They would only need to isolate if her daughter was confirmed positive and had also been in contact with other students over a preceding window.
CodenameVillanelle · 03/01/2021 18:19

You won't get fined for keeping a child off to self isolate during a pandemic fgs. You might get fined if you keep her off after the ten day isolation period.

yankeedoodledandee · 03/01/2021 18:19

How am I depriving anyone else of education?

Come on OP, your DD is the teacher GrinGrinGrin

PotteringAlong · 03/01/2021 18:20

The thing is, are you sending her in in 10 days? It’s 10 days from symptoms so what are you doing on the 13th January onwards? Because if you keep lying to school it will raise eyebrows

Original poster
WankPuffins · 03/01/2021 18:20

I don't know what we will do after ten days.

The house isn't big enough to isolate him. I'm hoping we can get him over this and try and get some help put in place for him (I actually work in mental health, but it's very different when it's your own relative).

OP posts:
Noellodee · 03/01/2021 18:20

Just say you've asked them for the confirmation text and they haven't got back to you.

AbstractDot · 03/01/2021 18:20

Just be straight, explain why you lied. Teachers are pulling out and our schools academy has said it will be sympathetic to parents who feel the same as long as they are honest. The fake test isn't an issue, it's easy to make up a results text x

Omeara · 03/01/2021 18:20

I would do the same for my Dad. Just tell school that the person is not willing to show either you or the achoo their test result and therefore you have to take them at their word.

Noellodee · 03/01/2021 18:21

13th January is several government U-turns away at this point. That's future Wankpuffin's problem.

ThePricklySheep · 03/01/2021 18:21

[quote MarieG10]@SallyTimms

Schools cannot ask for proof of a pupil's test

What reference or guidance do you have for that or is it your personal view ?

It is a fairly routine request to ensure that students or employees don't come back to work without a negative test or too early if positive [/quote]
“Schools should not require evidence of negative test results or other medical evidence before admitting children or welcoming them back after a period of self-isolation”

www.gov.uk/government/publications/school-attendance/addendum-recording-attendance-in-relation-to-coronavirus-covid-19-during-the-2020-to-2021-academic-year#examples-in-which-not-attending-in-circumstances-related-to-coronavirus-covid-19-could-apply