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Original poster

So I've had to lie to the school

503 replies

WankPuffins · 03/01/2021 18:06

My dad is 86 and isn't coping.

He's in our support bubble but lives two hours away (which I know some people don't agree with and I've been jumped on on her about it before, but I am his only family so what can we do).

Dh has had to go and get him just now. He called us saying he can't take this anymore, he's worried about my baby in all this with her having two older siblings at school/college, he can't sleep and he can't eat. He's scared to leave his house and he's got no food in. He said he was considering taking all his sleeping pills but he couldn't when he thought of my children.

We then FaceTimed him so we could actually see him after he called and he's visibly lost weight. It's clear he's not been eating. We can't leave him alone. I honestly think he'll end his life if we do. So he's coming here.

Dd is supposed to go back to school tomorrow. I've just posted on another thread that they sent a heavy handed email basically pre emting people making excuses.

I don't want her going to school while my dad is here. We've not left the house apart from one click and collect since Dh took him home on Boxing Day. So we are as safe as can be.

Our area is now in T4 and cases are rising.

I've emailed to say a family member in our support bubble showed symptoms today after seeing us on Friday.

They have emailed back asking for proof of the relatives positive or negative test so they can say when Dd returns to school.

Obviously there is no test. But we couldn't be honest and risk a fine.

Flame away at me lying. But I feel like I'm inbetween a rock and a hard place with Dd and my dad.

And now I feel like I'll be under scrutiny from the school.

OP posts:
sadpapercourtesan · 03/01/2021 18:51

That latest response from the school means they've accepted the absence. I agree with @YoniAndGuy that whichever jobsworth sent the inappropriate request for a test result has either realised or had it pointed out to them that they have no right to ask for it.

She's self-isolating, the school have accepted and acknowledged it, I don't think you'll hear any more about it.

NotquitewhatImeant · 03/01/2021 18:51

OP you’ve done the best thing for your dad - don’t beat yourself up

Orf1abc · 03/01/2021 18:52

Try not to worry. The school will be closed before your child is due back.

You're doing the best for your family. That's what matters.

Abraxan · 03/01/2021 18:53

@StatisticalSense

You have potentially destroyed the education of hundreds of other children so that you can transport in a relative from hundreds of miles away?
In what way will the OP's DC not being at school tomorrow affect hundreds of other children?

OP - school cannot insist on seeing evidence of the test result. You are not obliged to pass on another person's (or your own) medical records to them.

Peachy66 · 03/01/2021 18:53

I would of done exactly the same thing if it was one of my parents.
You need to do what is right for you and your family.
I hope your Dad's mental health improves when he is with his family.

curtaincalll · 03/01/2021 18:54

@StatisticalSense

You have potentially destroyed the education of hundreds of other children so that you can transport in a relative from hundreds of miles away?
Did I miss something?
Original poster
WankPuffins · 03/01/2021 18:54

Of course we will keep up with home learning.

I home educated my eldest for 9 years, and we only moved here in jan. Dd didn't have a school place until September anyway (due to lockdown ), so she was home educated from jan - sept anyway and did very well. I'm also on maternity leave so not an issue with her home.

OP posts:
Applesandpears23 · 03/01/2021 18:55

You did the right thing. Schools will be shut anyway within 2 weeks.

Gentianpurple · 03/01/2021 18:55

Your dd is 6 and will be fine at home. I hope things get better for you soon. Don’t worry about the lying- you’ve got 10 days to sort things out. But I would, perhaps be upfront with the school after that time if you are still in the same situation.

Ohdeariedear · 03/01/2021 18:56

I would have done the same as you OP. That email sounds like official notification from the school that your DD is now self-isolation so I don’t think you need to engage with them any more about it.

I hope you can get some help in place for your Dad. It’s grim all round.

TJ17 · 03/01/2021 18:56

@StatisticalSense

You have potentially destroyed the education of hundreds of other children so that you can transport in a relative from hundreds of miles away?
Wtf did you actually read the thread?

Have some fucking empathy and don't be so over dramatic 🙄

user1485461206 · 03/01/2021 18:57

@Beebityboo

Hmm. I was going to lie about DD having symptoms so we could self isolate. Now I'm wondering if it would raise safeguarding concerns as I won't test her (she has sen, no way I could do it safely even if she was unwell) Fucking hell. Can't believe we're in this position!
Just to say I have told the school the truth and I have still been jumped on by the head and made to feel like the worlds worst parent, can’t win either way
user1485461206 · 03/01/2021 18:58

Op I hope you can sort some help for your dad, sounds a horrible situation for you all. Good luck with getting the help he needs

Icebear99 · 03/01/2021 18:58

You're doing the right thing even if you end up with a fine. You're allowed to form a support bubble with a single person and this is no limit on distance - mines 100 miles away.
The school can only ask to see the test result of a pupil who is suspected of having it no one else, tell them that your father is elderly, he has spoken to his doctor who advised him to isolate but no test has been taken yet.

tsmainsqueeze · 03/01/2021 18:58

@StatisticalSense

You have potentially destroyed the education of hundreds of other children so that you can transport in a relative from hundreds of miles away?
I would think most people would do the same under the circumstances , how could you do nothing if your 86 year old dad was in the same boat ? Sod the school , op's dad is her priority .
NeonSparkle · 03/01/2021 18:58

If I was in the same situation as you OP I would have done exactly the same thing!

YouJustDoYou · 03/01/2021 18:59

@StatisticalSense You have potentially destroyed the education of hundreds of other children so that you can transport in a relative from hundreds of miles away?

ODFO

Namechangedforthisoct2 · 03/01/2021 18:59

Wow people are so judgement and harsh.

Personally I think you’ve done the right thing and I’d just ignore the school! They have bigger problems to worry about right now.

Chloemol · 03/01/2021 19:00

Just tell the school the truth. Then if they go to fine you challenge it

Our LA has put out a post today saying they wont be fining anyone who decides to keep their kids off schools and are actually asking for schools to be closed, certainly for the next two weeks

Namechangedforthisoct2 · 03/01/2021 19:00

[quote YouJustDoYou]**@StatisticalSense* You have potentially destroyed the education of hundreds of other children so that you can transport in a relative from hundreds of miles away?*

ODFO[/quote]
My sentiments exactly!!

TJ17 · 03/01/2021 19:00

YANBU at all OP.

If 2020 taught us anything it's that family comes first! Hope you get it all sorted ❤️

YouJustDoYou · 03/01/2021 19:00

StatisticalSense

You have potentially destroyed the education of hundreds of other children so that you can transport in a relative from hundreds of miles away?

I would think most people would do the same under the circumstances , how could you do nothing if your 86 year old dad was in the same boat?
Sod the school , op's dad is her priority

Statistical nonsense would rather leave her father to slowly starve to death.

saraclara · 03/01/2021 19:02

You could literally be saving his life. Please don't worry about anything other than him.

Schools will have more than enough to deal with in the next couple of weeks, then to try to bully you into producing a test certificate.

Just breathe, forgive yourself for the knee jerk fib, and focus on your DF and your children. The rest of the world will busy itself with its own problems.

Topsyandtimison37 · 03/01/2021 19:02

I can't believe they asked y see they test. I think they don't believe you anyway. That's so rubbish for you.

nosswith · 03/01/2021 19:03

I hope you can provide the care for your 86 year old dad that he needs. I also hope your DD can have some role in helping provide his care, even if only bringing him tea or coffee from time to time and/or sitting and having a conversation.